My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 215

It's your wedding day. Of COURSE you want sprinkles.


Did the camel sneeze?


Brides-to-be, want your cake to convey a sense of elegance in addition to the fun, campy style normally reserved for peanut vendors and clown cars? Then have I got the cake for you!

(Levitating tiers come standard. Cake stand extra.)


Or perhaps you'd prefer something less colorful. Something that evokes less "Big Top" and more "Sewer Pipe...with Flowers":

You could call this color a blue/grey/green. Or "hurk," which is faster and more accurate.


Still hungry? This'll help:

I'm reminded of a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little. Maybe you know it. Does "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" ring any bells? (Man, they just don't write lullabies like they used to...)


Hey, you know how we're always wondering why more wedding cakes don't use Mardi Gras beads?

Well, wonder no more!

These colors are making me a little queasy.
Which is ironic, considering the Pepto Bismol icing.


[dramatic movie trailer voice]
"She was the belle of the ball, the picture of elegance.
He was a rough country boy who'd never seen a fork.
Together, they would create something the world had never seen.
Something ground breaking.
Something divisive.
Something... well, kind of prickly."

And that's why you always let the groom have his own cake, ladies.


Thanks to Karen M., Karin D., Judy M., Anony M., Danielle T., & Jennifer C. who would all like a stabby piece, please.


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Reader Comments (23)

Yee Haw, Thet tar Wedding Palace at the second-last one, shore is fancy since they put in thuh electric wires and stuff.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

On the last cake, is it sitting on a wadded up garbage bag?? Or is it a dramatically draped special cake underpinning cloth type of thing? I really like the garbage bag idea.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenteranotherJen

"Mutilated monkey meat..." I have that album somewhere in the deep recesses of a closet - I didn't think anyone else had heard it. Such good memories! So happy to associate that song with Cakewrecks!!

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKate

That last one is a fun idea. And well made too. I'm getting a Cinderella weds Sonic the hedgehog vibe

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

Those last 2 are so beautifully done! Shame the idea was so terrible. As for the rest - well, thank goodness my mother made my wedding cake.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Going to a wedding tomorrow. My snarky, evil self has high hopes for a Cake Wreck!

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

While the design of the last one is not for most, the execution was good. The baker did a nice job-especially compared to what we usually see here. If the couple was happy with it, it's fine. Certainly not the worst idea.
And I want that little Coleman lantern on the other cake.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

EVERY time I bring up the song "Gopher guts" no one has ever heard it! I learned it at Girl Scout camp and would teach it to my girls when I was a leader. This is like the first time someone else has brought it up around me! THANK YOU.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDoris

The Mardi Gras beads are actually kind of nice, as long as nobody tries to eat them, of course.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

And me without my spoon... yes, I remember it well! - thanks for reminder :-)

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I love the background of the Mardi Gras beads cake. Looks like a real elegant classy wedding venue.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

I may be in an overly generous mood, but I don't think most of these are terrible. Certainly not great cakes by an means. The colors are a bit questionable, but if that's what was requested then I don't have a problem.

The second one looks kind of fun to me and the pink one looks very nice as well. But, yes Pepto Pink.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGarrett

The pepto cake is really nicely done and structured. Minus the color choice of the beads.

The two-faced cake at the end? Eh, it's kind of a style nowadays, and this one is nicely done too. I don't like camo on a wedding cake, but the baker did a good job.

HOWEVER, that said...the rest are just a whole lot of ewwww.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

First one: Too bad the camel sneezed.
All the others: Too bad.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"little dirty birdy feet..." Yeah, we sang that when I was young, too. I hate the colors on that cake, but it is an outdoor wedding and those are the colors of the earth and woods.
I like the way the Mardi Gras beads look, very evenly draped. Would have looked great on something inedible...

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

I remember learning that song from one of my mom's friends when I wasyoung. She enjoyed teaching it to cute little girls so they could surprise their parents.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

Pretty sure cake #4 is actually hurk-colored, more than #3.

Also, cake #2 is what you get when you want your wedding cake to resemble a Jell-o mold.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

Oh yes, I remember the greasy, grimy gopher guts song. Cake 2 isn't THAT bad.

February 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Man I wonder who had the job of pulling off all the beads before they cut the cake lol. If they even could. That cake scares me.

February 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Camel? Camel?! Why??

And especially: What the heck does that cake look like from the "camel side"?

February 17, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLauraF

anotherjen....that last cake looks like it is sitting on something edible not a garbage bag...look at right side looks like rolled out really black shiny fondant

February 17, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

Did you sing the "chopped up baby parakeet" version or the "itty bitty birdie feet"? And do y'all remember "The Worms Crawl In"?

February 22, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFreya

That last one seems like what a wedding cake would be in the "Upside Down" on Stranger Things.

February 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJC

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