My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Mardi Gras Hide N' Seek

It's that time of year again, when the Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys abandon their icing carrots and instead go for a spin on giant, bead-covered donuts. Check it out: this one's even on a pool-float boogie board:


Somebody get this kid a tiny drink with an even tinier umbrella, STAT.


Originally these guys - who, did I mention? Are supposed to represent the baby Jesus - were hidden away *inside* the donut, so that one lucky party-goer would end up with a chipped tooth and the dubious honor of having to bring next year's donut, thereby ensuring the continuous cycle of petty revenge.


Somewhere beneath that sticky surface lurks a tiny choking hazard. WHO WILL FIND IT FIRST?


This also led to some truly spectacular warning labels:

And yet they still ate at least half of it. THE MONSTERS.


Now, however, thanks to a bunch of downer lawyer types and other spoil sports who can't digest plastic, bakers are forced to "hide" the babies in plain sight:

"SHHHH. Just be cool, man. BE COOL."


Is that...double-stick tape?


I won't tell him we can still see him if you won't.


Of course, since the whole tradition centered around the surprise of finding the plastic baby, I'm not sure what the point is of even including one now. Unless it's just to pose it in a bunch of funny ways, of course:


"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" [slowly slides down glass]


Mondays. Am I right?


Happily, though, at least one bakery has proposed a new subsitute for the plastic baby, based on the following logic: The baby is meant to represent the baby Jesus, right? And we celebrate Jesus' resurrection on Easter, right? And what ELSE do we eat at Easter?

That's right, ladies and gentlemen: Preeeeeesenting! The Peeps King Cake!!




Thanks to Pon T., Maya R., Kelley H., Valarie, Carrie T., Lauren, Kristy & Matthew P., Brandon H., & Heather M. for the sneak Peeps.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (19)

So that last one is BYOB: Bring your own baby? Not that you couldn't choke on the foil wrapped chocolate eggs. I'm looking forward to this year's monstrosities, since Mardi Gras is the day before Valentine's. Time for the solid pink icing that makes them look like they should be censored. Makes the baby make more sense, though.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

I'm so glad you chose this to repost - one of my all-time faves too! The last one is brilliant! I wonder if you'll get the "it's not a donut" rants this time? Man, now I'm hungry for king cake. And donuts. And peeps.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

@Kim L: While standing in line at the grocery store last night and seeing some Valentine’s cakes, I actually turned to my husband and said “So what flavor is violent pink, anyway?” He just looked at me quizzically and shrugged, in that way long-suffering husbands have when you know they’re thinking “DO NOT engage the crazy woman!” But as for my question, I don’t think I want to find out.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Well, the next -to-last baby sure seems to have made a choice.
("Goodbye, cruel -albeit-colorful world! Goodbyeeeeeee......!")

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last one is a fake -- no purple sprinkles. Wait a minute... "King's cake"?? You mean this is ELVIS's fault?!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

Are there any *good* king cakes?

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

I think your supposed to insert baby yourself so you know it's I there.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterVal

Am I the only one who now wants to collect all the babies? I NEED purple and gold babies in my life!

I'll get them carrots later.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

I'm pretty sure that first baby is on a crown (not pool float boogie board). Also, the babies are put on top for YOU to personally hide in the cake so that the baker does not get sued. Damn lawyers!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSunni

The Peeps cake label... called the baby a trinket,,, *pouts*

But I guess a label saying "no baby" would be really, really awkward. *grins*

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I am giggling at these and yet I am not quite sure why lol. I must be weird or just on a sugar rush from Valentine candy.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Oh wow, I have never even heard of this tradition and I am dying laughing!
From “there is a baby in the cake” to the Monday baby who has just given up, I kinda want to start doing this🤣

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLynette

Yeah, coming to you from the great Mardi Gras state of Louisiana, the baby is still there but obvious because the buyer is supposed to insert it into the cake so the bakers are off the hook legally. So the fine tradition of making the person who chokes on the baby bring next year's cake continues! (Although there is an alternate tradition of saying that the person who finds the baby gets good luck, so there's that. Much nicer.) (But they still have to bring the next cake.)

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLesli

Made me think of the "Bob's Burgers" Christmas episode where Linda offers a truck driver the Dutch Baby pancake she'd bought. He remarks "Mmm, good! You can't even taste the baby!"

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterVince M

Also from Louisiana, I feel the need to mention that only #3, #5, and #7 are actual king cakes (though #7 would be using the term very loosely). The rest are just whatever happened to be lying around and someone said, "Hey! That one that's about to expire. Glaze the crap out of it, throw some colored sugar on top, and add $1 to the price." Mostly, I feel bad for people who ate that, then go around saying, "I had king cake once. It was terrible."

February 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarlene

Peeps (Easter Bunny) King Cake… so theologically wrong on so many levels…

February 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Where can I get me one of those purple metallic babies??

February 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Jane

The label on the last cake informs us that it "does not contain trimet" Trimet? Did they mean trinket? Or is this the new name for baby Jesus. (My King cake came with bagged beads and "trimet")

February 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ann

For some reason, the first cake/donut/fried lump of dough looks like a butt. Albeit a sticky icing covered butt.
Maybe it IS just me.

February 18, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

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