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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Feb012018

I Eat Terror For Breakfast

Assuming "terror" is another word for cake, of course.

Which, at least with these cakes, I'm pretty sure it is.

 

Sure, this may look like a fuzzy potato wearing a Skeletor mask and a literal banana hammock, but I think it's supposed to be a monkey. (Yes, a monkey.) Which kinda makes Shara's Curious George Wreck look positively cuddly by comparison, huh?

 

Still, it could've been worse. That banana hammock could have been made with these:

Peeling Lucky, punk?

Well, I wouldn't advise it; Lucky here has one nasty split personality.
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)

 

Hey bakers, do you have too many customers? Is the constant stream of business interfering with your "me time"? Tired of making all those cakes? No problem!! Now you can scare those paying customers off with THE FACE OF PURE EVIL™!

"I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
(OH, AND TRY THE ECLAIRS. THEY'RE DELISH.)"

 

Alice, Baily A., & Liz B., these Wrecks aren't boaring you, are they?

*****

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Reader Comments (13)

I'm trying to think of an occasion for which a severed pig head cake would be the appropriate celebratory dessert. All I have accomplished is giving myself a headache.

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

The last cake - the Boar's Head - has a long history. There's a late Medieval/Renaissance era carol, the Boars Head carol, meant to be sung when the original item, an actual roasted head of a pig, fancifully decorated, was brought into the hall at the climax of the Christmas feast. Trust me - as unsettling as the cake may look, it's FAR less questionable than that delicacy. Which I have helped to cook. I actually applaud the makers of that cake for figuring out a less horrific excuse for singing the most excellent song. https://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/boars_head_carol.htm

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterkbsalazar

Hi, I don't think that last one is a wreck at all - in fact, it's actually really good. I assume it was commissioned, but it' it appears to be a roasted hogshead on a platter (notice the radishes) Probably for someone interested in the Medieval period and possibly a re-enactor (yes, we exist - and I'd SOOOO take that cake to a feast!)/ Anyway, the cake is a really good depiction of a hogshead.

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPhylis

That 'monkey' looks more like a kakamora to me.

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKH

1) Are you just monkeying around with us, or what? I certainly wouldn't go ape over this creation. That this is a wreck is a gibbon. It isn't the gorilla my dreams. Maybe it's just a chimp off the old block. (Honestly, I saw a turd in a mask).
2) Maybe the baker was taking money for this on the Dole. This cake really isn't all that a-peeling. You might even say it's kind of fruit. Is it possible the baker was already going bananas?
3) I'm not hog wild about this cake, either. It's so unappetizing, I can't see anyone wanting to pig out on it. It really looks pretty sickly and maybe just needs some oinkment. If we all prodded it with our fingers, would that make it a pig in a poke? Don't complain about my puns, for I don't want to hear anyone swine about them.
(Blame Jen. She started it!)

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Pretty sure that last picture has been used on the cover of "The Lord of the Flies."

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterfseel

At least they didn't go the whole hog on that last cake.

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJules

I kinda thought the banana woman was neat. A cake with a bit of attitude.

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

...when did Michael Jackson get reincarnated into a cake?

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRoswellianism

@kbsalazar - I was singing The Boar's Head carol even before I scrolled down to your post - nice to see someone else knows it!

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I actually liked the 🍌 cake...

February 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterVan Kribski

That last one I swear I have seen it's terrifying face in many of the horror movies I tend to watch alone and in the dark. Well not anymore! Lol.

February 2, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

@Angela S.:
I can think of one...but it wouldn't be politically correct...
=^-.-^=

February 2, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

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