Santa Auditions
December 21, 2018 "Thank you all for coming to the Punxsutawney Mall Santa Auditions! We're here to find a special Santa 'stand-in' [winkwink] to take pictures with the kids this weekend. So, let's bring you in one by one, and have you give us your very best Santa greeting! Ok? Ok!
"First contestant, you're up!"
;)
"ARR! Marrrrry Christmas, ye landlubbers!"
"Um...sorry, but I think we're looking for someone just a little more traditional. Next, please!"
;)
"Bark! Bark bark bark bark!!"
"I'm confused. Are you a dog or a seal?"
"Not really sure, love, but look! I can throw things in the air!"
"Next!"
;)
"Merry frickin' Christmas."
"Oh, my, is that really a proper Santa attitude?"
"Lady, quit screaming. Santa's head is KILLING him."
"NEXT!!"
;)
"How much for the women?"
"NEXT!!"
;)
[growling]
"Ohhh kaaaay. I'm going to back away slowly now.
"Well, that's everyone, so I guess we'll just have to go with Mrs. Claus again this year. That ok with you, Mrs. Claus?
;)
"Mrs. Claus?"
[ .... ]
"Look, I know you're great with the kids, but maybe you could consider, you know, talking once in a while."
[ .... ]
"Or blinking."
Thanks to Nick K., Michelle C., Laura C., Kim P., Sarah M., & Katie C. for the Silent Fright.
*****
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Reader Comments (11)
1) Don't ask this pirate Claus to help. He won't do anything.
2) After delivering all those presents, Santa is dog tired. He's all pupped out. He's going to sit in his recliner and look at his Christmas plant - the pointersetter.
3) Santa needs to go into quarantine with a very severe case of pinkeye.
4) "Here's leering at you, kid."
5) Who let Dr. Frankenstein back into his lab over the holidays?
6) This is why you never get into a staring contest at the North Pole. Her eyes are now permanently frozen open and she'll need a lifetime supply of eye drops.
I kind of wish pirate Santa was a thing. Also, grumpy Santa is one of the best CCCs I've ever seen. Not that that's saying much . . .
#5 is Achmed the Dead Terrorist!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L8fIrWnXRA
# 5,Silence (night), I keel you!
Is the first one really supposed to be Santa? It looks like a deranged Pokeball.
Sure the first one isn't supposed to be a Poke Ball? Or Electrode?
Hysterical!!! Thanks-
Did Santa melt into a Poke ball in that first one? That is the only thing I could think of lol. As for the rest I would back away slowly and pretend I didn't see any of them lol.
“How much for the women” is a Blues Brothers reference, right?
If it weren’t for the mustache and the earring, I’d swear that first Santa started life as a pokéball!
The one above. Mrs. Claus is Achmed the dead terrorist TRYING to be Santa . . . . for some strange reason.