The Cake Wrecks Hangover Cure
January 1, 2018
[tiptoeing closer]
[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?
Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....
Oh.
Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?
Hm?
OH, right! Sorry, sorry!
Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]
How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!
Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.
Quick, take a look at this:
I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?
Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.
Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.
No, really, I mean it.
You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.
Or any condition, for that matter.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.
Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.
You're still scrolling.
What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?
I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.
Well...
Ok.
But don't say I didn't warn you.
Last chance to scroll back!
Aaaand...
Prepare to squirm:
[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!
Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.
*****
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Reader Comments (25)
The last one - The Squire was looking over my shoulder and said, "Hmm. Oh, it can't be. Well, it sure as h*** looks like it!"
My sentiments exactly!
That last cake...why?!??
Wesley said it best - these are a miserable, vomitous mass. They're really puke-trid. And retch-ed. They should be heaved right out the door or hurled into the street. Who made these - Barfolemew? It makes me want to ask just one question, "What's up, chuck?"
Someone please tell me that those are gummy worms on that last cake. Someone?!?
The "head cheese" description also applies to that last layer cake. UGH.
That last cake HAS to be fake worms, right? Please? I mean, it's served on a plate with a side dish of whipped cream
That last cake makes me think there really needs to be a word for things that are very well-crafted, but never should have been done in the first place.
...oh.
It took me a second, but now I think I want new eyes.
*urk*
I seriously am dying to know the story behind the worm cake! I just ... were they ... how ... I think I'm just going back to bed.
Someone took dirt cake a little *too* seriously with that last one…
And those are supposed to be marshmallows on the first cake? What?
Happy new year!
Please Please tell me that last cake has gummy worms in it.........
I didn’t have anything to drink, and looking at those made me want to puke!
Worms! Why did it have to be worms?
--Raiders of the Lost Barf
Are those real worms? They couldn't be. They'd be baked if they were real worms.
What on earth are those things in that last cake? I do hope they are gummy worms, not real ones!
To be honest, that first cake is 10x more gross than the last one. To me, anyway. Looks like barfed up dog food. 🤢🤮
How to they expectorate with offerings this offal?
=^>.<^=
I want it to be gummy worms but.... they would have melted when baked. 😫🤢
I think I have solved the mystery of the non-melting, non-dead worms.
I am pretty sure it's a photoshop job.
Check out this post:
http://stayfitfoods.com/low-carb-recipes/mexican-chocolate-coffee-cake/
And this free image:
https://www.freeimages.com/photo/cakes-baked-treats-no-1-1511952
That last cake.. please tell me that it isn't for human consumption lol. It looks like it has real worms and I don't even know what the heck the red stuff is. Heck I don't even think a pet would eat that..
I actually gagged when I saw that last one. Ugh...
The first cake looks like cat or dog barf.
The next couple have sanitation problems.
The last one, though,,, If those aren't worms, what are they, maybe sauerkraut? Also, the more I look at the frosting, the more it looks like raw ground pork.
I sure am glad I'm not hung over.
Happy New Year to all!
You've GOT to tell us the truth on the worm cake! I had a recipe for worm cake, but they are cooked and ground. Yick!
That last cake is photo shopped. Worms and raw hamburger icing? No. The reality is so much more delish. http://stayfitfoods.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/chocolate-and-coffee-cake-with-cream1.jpg
Same plate, same whipped cream, same background. How did you find the original photo?