Friday
Sep012017
PLEASE TELL ME THOSE ARE DEAD SQUIRRELS
September 1, 2017 Sometimes you want your wedding cake to tell a story.
Just not this one.
He was a small game hunter who liked to drink.
She was an amateur taxidermist who collected tiny hats.
(And also liked to drink.)
Together, they would create:
THE MOST HORRIFYING WEDDING CAKE
...IN THE WORLD.
;)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[deep breath]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Thanks to Christine C. for finding the Bloggess' next anniversary cake.
*****
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Reader Comments (33)
Wow. So... classy. (I actually have no words for how awful that is)
The only thing worse in this situation would be LIVE squirrels!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Who would eat cake that has had dead squirrel butt on it?
Sweet baby Jaysus!
LOVE IT!
I love it because after they cut the cake, the children can play "toss the squirrel", or take turns dancing with them on the dance floor. That's a thoughtful bride to keep the kidlets entertained while the parents drink.
I wonder if Squirrel Nut Zippers was played at the wedding?
Those beer cans #NailedIt
I bet it was a fun wedding..
Is it just me or does it look like the groom squirrel is grabbing his squirrel crotch?
I want to see photos from the wedding, of the bride and groom at the very least!
Nope, not just you @Jenny. Although I think he is scratching it rather than grabbing it. Also, camo on cakes rarely looks appetizing! RealTree and MossyOak need to stay out of the cake decorating business. Please someone tell me why they didn't get a little plastic platform for the cake topper? Ewwww!
I'm so glad for that last line, because my very first thought on seeing that was Jenny the Boggess
Oh my goodness, NO! Just .... eeeewww!
I actually understand the squirrels better than I understand the frosting color choices. (In my husband's family, squirrels are food.)
At least he's wearing a tie.
Was anyone at the wedding reception drunk enough to lick the frosting off the squirrel bums?
Watching the episode of My Big Redneck Wedding (or whatever it's called) where this was made was surreal. It was in a town not too far from here. I've steered clear of that town since!
This looks like it should be in the Farmers Insurance Hall of Claims, with a catchy intro by J K Simmons, something like "Squirrel Nut Sippers." I would find it slightly less disturbing if the beer cans weren't empty.
So did the guests get a tiny piece of squirrel to take home?!
I'm kind of hoping they aren't REAL squirrels... But I bet that's just waaaaaay to much to hope for.
*hork*
You know, it's so perfectly horrible, I'd almost think they did it on purpose.
@Jenny: Could be......but I WANT to think that he's looking for his keys, because the booze wore off, and now he wants to skip the circus and head the heck out of Dodge!
=^-.-^=
And why is the happy squirrel couple standing on icing that is a dark red color??? UGHHHH!
Is that hay on the floor of the venue?
"They make crackerjack pets!"
I showed this to my husband and he stared for a really long time and said, at least they're holding hands. Of course the boy squirrel is holding his 'nuts' in the other.
Where to even begin? The germiness of dead squirrels on food, the hideous camo colors, or the Bud Light props? I want to know how drunk was the person who ate a piece of cake the squirrels sat on.
When the bride said she wanted light buds, as in pastel rosebuds, around the edges, the dyslexic decorator got things sort of mixed up.
Oh, I knew this one had to show up this year! Mr. and Mrs Nutsy there truly hold a top place in the category of cake horrors...
You'll be relieved to know the one squirrel is not grabbing his nuts, er, balls. Squirrel testicles are huge. They would not fit in its "hands". They would probably fit through the beer can opening, but would almost certainly get stuck. Thus I can confidently state this is a Lesbian squirrel couple.
Watch for Jen's next EPBOT post where she shows us how to get frosting off squirrel feet while hardly screaming.
This HAS to be the 'groom's cake', not the bride's.
Hopefully the layers are simply frosted Styrofoam blocks...
Oh, sharon! L0L! That's a whole different BALLgame, so with that testicalmony, I hope they have a great life, stuffed with ......
Oops......=^e.e^=
I bet the bride and groom are named jimbo and Dawnah
She was probably in a maternity wedding dress
Maybe the squirrels look so lifelike because they were taken from a Sunday Sweet.
Oh, nuts.
This is one of those weddings where you realize, to your horror and resignation, that all the drinking typically associated with wedding receptions clearly took place before the wedding. Nothing else could explain this Redneck Romeo and his Rodent Bride. Nothing.