My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

You Say Tomato, I Say Turnip

Hey, everybody! Do you know what time it is?!

That's right, it's "You write the &%#* post, john!!" time!

So, uh, yeah.

Let's see... I need something really easy to write so I can go back to playing my video game. (Those aliens aren't gonna kill themselves!)

Right, how about some wedding missed marks? Or as I like to call them, "Let's have an Epcot in the comments about getting what you paid for!"



Ooh, pretty. Of course, this cake was on so it was probably made with platinum shavings and unicorn tears.


Now let's see what Patty I. ended up with.


(On a side note, all I can hear as I write this is the MarioKart music as Jen vanquishes her little cartoon foes. That and the occasional, "In YOUR FACE, Donkey Kong!!")


Next cake:

No lie, this is one of my favorite cakes in our library. And please note that it's made with fondant.

Or as Buddy would call it, Fahn Dahn.


Now, people often complain that Missed Marks always have a fondant inspiration cake with an all-buttercream wreck, which is why they're so horrifically bad. So for a better comparison, here's Tina M's resulting cake which was made with fondant:

It's like apples and pigeons.

(I'm now laughing maniacally at my own joke. I think I'm tired.)


I can't think of anything funny to say about this next cake. So instead, I'll just sing a song that's currently stuck in my head.

"You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful - it's true!"

"La, la, la, something WHAT to do."


Aaand, that's all I know.

Also, I'd like to apologize to Michael and Stephanie for taking 4 years to post your cake. I overslept.


This next inspiration cake is awesome:

Huh. Maybe this one is my favorite. Maybe I just like blue. I'm so confused.

Never mind. So let's analyze the incredible complexity and skill required to make the gorgeous design above:

Step 1. Make a three-tiered round cake.

Step 2. Stick blue circles on it.


Aaand let's see how Serena P.'s bakers did!


Well, that's all the time I have, since I'm pretty sure I just heard a Wii remote hit the wall. And that's never good. ("Oh no, Luigi lose! MAMA!")

So, until next time, be thankful that Jen writes this blog.


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Reader Comments (17)

re: the Book-Wreck;
What the heck is a "Broverb"? Are they "witticisms" spoken in a man cave after 3 or 4 brewskis?

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

The "inspirations" are all lovely - and, really, fairly straightforward. How could anybody...oh, never mind! I really like that wedding book! Nice idea for a small wedding.

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The first one, I got nuthin' except to say it looks like my early efforts at cake decorating... when I was in middle school.

The second missed mark: take a look at the design on the bottom tier, far left. It reminds me of those deliberately vague ads for feminine hygiene products way back in the day Really. She's raising her arms (or whatever) and dancing.

The last wreck reminds me of illustrations in a Dr. Seuss book I had as a kid.

Michael and Stephanie, I am sooooo sorry about your wedding cake. Missed it by...THAT much!

Shirley, great definition for Broverbs! Ha!

John(thoj) and Jen, I love wedding wrecks, keep 'em coming!

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

The first wreck looks like it has gang symbols on it.

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFelix1140

A lot of those wrecks look homemade as if someone's auntie or granny volunteered to provide the cake but embellished her baking and decorating Kung fu skills... A bit!

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBunnylake

I thought the same thing as Felix 1140- is that gang graffiti on the first cake? Making three round, proportioned cakes must be harder than it looks. Mine would probably look like that last one!

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I showed these pics to my 7 years old and she's laughing so hard!!! Gold.

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJJ

Don't people look at samples/photos etc. Of previous cakes made by these bakers? You can't possibly come up with these atrocities yet have previously done amazing cakes.

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMarti

What was the second cake made for? Joining a religious order? The top appears to be the Virgin Mary and Jesus.

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

So the book cake looks like the monster book from Harry Potter

July 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoni

When the good cake (#2) looks like giant squid or octopi attacking (I don't know water monsters well); what can you possibly expect from the wreckorator? Okay, maybe not that. Although, now that I step very far away from my screen, it does have a certain modern art quality to it. My mistake. I should not have used quality in that sentence. Modern art sensibility? No. Not better. Modern arty-farty-ness?

I quitting while I'm ahead.

July 8, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

Wow lol. The brides must have gone insane seeing these. I know I would have for sure chased them. Lol.

July 8, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

These all seem to be home made. If you're not hiring a professional appreciate that someone took the time to try and make your day special.

People often have family or friends do the photography which ends up in similar results. Photos are all that's left of your special day. So please figure out what is important and hire professionals.

July 8, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Epstein

SIIIIGGHH!! (My new theme song for here!)
The last one? The couple seem to be slogging through a slush storm, and will either slide of the edge, or jump to a certain doom .....either of which is better than staying for a night of having to lick crap off their fancy rented tux and gown...(DEPENDING on if the band is any good...!) =^~.~^=

July 8, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm all for the barn door.
Other than that, I'm calling it a day.


July 8, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm a little too distracted with the Mario Kart references. I play Ludwig in Mario Kart 8 with the yoshi bike myself.

July 9, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

John, love. its 2017. It took you NINE years to post that book cake wreck. Seems you over slept 4 years, then got distracted playing HALO for 5...

July 12, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

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