The Apostrophe Is Silent
July 6, 2017 (ATTN PARENTS: This post contains material somewhat "adult" in nature.)
Once upon a time there was a girl named Amber.
Amber decided that school was not for her. Fortunately, she had loving and supportive parents.
;)
One day Amber was offered an exciting new job. To celebrate, she added an apostrophe to her name, thinking it would make her seem more sophisticated. Again, her parents were supportive.
Unfortunately, introducing herself as "Amber - the apostrophe is silent" did not yield the results Amber was hoping for. Still, she did make some new friends at work: Cassie the C...er...Cat, and "Long Lips" Lisa.
Of course, every job has its hazards:
;)
Which Lisa and Cassie were always there to commiserate with:
;)
Then one day, after an unfortunate misunderstanding between the girls and a city health inspector looking for "clogged plumbing", disaster:
;)
Amber said goodbye to her newfound - albeit diseased - friends, and despaired over finding another job to suit her rather unique skill set and wardrobe. Fortunately, her ever-supportive parents were way ahead of her:
THE END.
Thanks to today illustrious Wreckporters Wendy E., Monique R., Alex H., Michele D., & Amber (no apostrophe) S., and Alexa B.
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Reader Comments (17)
I remember the first time you posted this. I couldn't figure out then why there were coffee beans and parsley on those odd mounds on that last cake. Even after all this time, I still have no clue.
wowzers. that was a nice story
Man,I wish I had cake to commemorate every bone headed decision and youthful indiscretion. You still know you're a putz but at least there's cake
Ahhh gotta love the classics :D XD
Are we to understand that Aurora and Prince Philip got herpes?
At first I thought those things on the last cake were oysters on the half shell. Then I decided they look more like hummus...mounds? Hillocks? Bumps? And are those coffee beans, or roly-poly bugs? I need new glasses...
Are those mounds of frosting on the last cake supposed to be va jay jays? If so, why are there coffee beans in them? And why do I have to ask these questions about cake?
I really want to know the backstory on the "You're fired" cake. (Although at least it was literate!)
Ah...the Amber Saga. Can't wait to see it on PBS.
The herpes cake could be for some poor soul who got chicken pox or shingles. Please explain the last cake, those things on top?
Rachel! LOL!
My sentiments exactly. Why do we have to ask these questions about cake? That's not the worst part. These are questions without answers. Eternal freakin' mysteries! I hate those!
My guess was clams or oysters which would sort of make the parsley okay, Except clams or oysters on a cake?And then there are the coffee beans. *cries silent tears of frustration*
Ahhh....the fun we had with Amber'.... A true classic and favorite!
I think the items surrounding the pole dancer are customers. Squint a little (or remove your glasses if that helps) and you can see that the blobs are faces of pasty white men (thus my "don't sue me" name). The parsley is sad, middle aged man hair (again, please don't sue) and the coffee beans are the eyes and mouths. Obviously this is the first time these men have been to such a show, and that is why they are agog. The sprinkles of what I assume (and can only hope) is cocoa powder seems to be five o'clock shadows. (Please don't sue me!)
But... WHY is the Pole Dancer "rocking" amid mounds of humus topped with coffee beans?
Ah the saga of Amber' lol. I wonder how her story ends but alas that mystery will never be solved so we get these cakes to remember her by.. the tragedy lol.
I think the hummus and coffee beans represent rocks. The parsley represents giant parsley growing on the rocks
I thought at first the blobs were badly made taco representations and the coffee beans were black beans, with garnish of cilantro. On closer inspection, I'm not sure what they are other than gross.