My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This'll Cure That Freaky Fetish

Well, not THAT one - what do you take me for, a miracle-worker? Sheesh.

No, I mean the one with the footsies. And don't try to deny it, 'cuz I know you're out there: loitering around the pedicure station, being overly helpful at the Payless, getting WAY too excited about peep-toe pumps coming back into style - yeah, you know who you are. Well, my foot-fondling friends, it's time for a little sole searching.

And for the rest of you: put down that coffee and prepare to skip breakfast (or possibly revisit it, depending on your constitution).

This is a groom's cake, which begs the question: is the groom really that enamored with his own toe hair? And I know there's no good way to show severed appendages, but those ankle stumps are freaking me out juuust a little.

Side note: The words "cake" and "ankle stumps" should never, EVER, be used to describe the same thing.


Hahahahahaha! See, it's like a dead person's feet! With a toe tag! To remind you of your own mortality! Isn't that hysterical? Hahhahahaha!

Right. Two things:
1) What's up with the blue drapey bits?
2) Just for fun, try to imagine the position you'd have to be in to get your feet at that angle.


There is only one word to describe this next one:


Yep, that sums it up nicely, I think.


Then there's the delectable world of toe fungus, which I think you'll all agree is not only a great ice-breaker at parties ("Hey, wanna see something cool?"), but also really hits the spot come dessert time.

That Dr. Pachman, he's such a fun guy, don't you think? Eh? Fungi? Eh? Booyah!

I'm not sure why he would order a "cake" made from upholstery foam, though: that somehow detracts from the otherwise yummy-looking toenails.

Side note: Dr. Pachman is quite possibly the coolest doctor name ever. Right up there with Dr. Spaceman.

Ok, guys, this is it: time for the most disgusting, fungus-riddled foot cake mine eyes have seen. Proceed with extreme caution and strong intestinal fortitude.


What's more horrifying: the green bugs crawling under the toenails...[pausing to swallow repeatedly]...or the fact that this is for a girl? Poor Teresa: I don't think the pretty pink icing nearly makes up for that yellowish... gelatinous...layer....

[sound of running feet]

UPDATE: Whew! Sorry, folks: my constitution just gave out, if you catch my drift. On the plus side, I just may lose those 5 pounds this week!


Hey, Sara S., Julie R., Christina B., and Jessica M., it's time to cut loose. Foot loose.


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Reader Comments (17)

In what world are foot cakes ever appropriate?! :/

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Eeurgh... =-P

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

At a podiatrist's convention?
You gotta foot it to them~~they really nailed those!

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Brings a whole new meaning to 'putting your foot in your mouth' .

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Hahah Blargh!!!! That's just so nasty!
Wayne's Meta-Toe-sal was very well done, but still...Blargh!

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

I've actually made a broken leg cake before. It was requested that there be dark hair on the leg and toes. The cast was light blue fondant and I gave the customer an edible marker, so they were able to sign the cast. Wish I could post a pic. It was really cute.

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterALLEGRA

"Feet don't fail me now!"

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPam S.

Do they have a jam filling? (At least the toes...) 😝

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMudmusher

@Mindy1, maybe they wanted to get a kick out of these cakes? Maybe they charge by the foot? Or just maybe the wreckers were feeling agony of defeet. ;-)

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFrancisco

In Wreck Werld, uv korce!

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I hate. Feet. Ewwww. I can't. I just can't.

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBiffster

I could not forget this post from before. One of the grossest ever.

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

oh my.

oh my

oh my.

in what world would any of these be considered food? or celebratory for that matter?

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

Really? No Bokononism jokes? Are all the Kurt Vonnegut geeks on holiday?

July 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRepubAnon

Podiatrists would probably not even want these cakes lol. They see enough gross stuff to last them forever and I know I sure as heck wouldn't want to even see fungus on a cake.. blergh.

July 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie


Your last comments made me think of the video of 80's hits sung by Sesame Street. (Really. It exists. And is hilarious. Check YouTube.) Instead of time to cut loose, perhaps it's time to catch that goose? (Can you imagine THAT cake?)

July 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Except that's a broken phalange, not a broken metatarsal. /facepalm

August 15, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterstina

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