Tuesday
Jun132017
Here Comes The Snide
June 13, 2017 In honor of all the summer weddings this month, I decided to sing a little song.
(With apologies to Nat King Cole.)
Unforgettable...
;)
That's what you are.
Unforgettable!
;)
Beyond subpar!
Like a song of love that CLINGS to me...
;)
(ew)
How the thought of you does THINGS to me...
;)
(seeing...red...)
Never before has something been mooore...
UNFORGETTABLE!!
;)
Someone will pay!
And forever moooore...
;)
They'll rue the day!
That's why darling...
;)
It's incredible...
That a wreck...
;)
So unforgettable...
Could also be so...
;)
...dang inedible too.
Thanks to Christin S., Amanda C., Rachael H., Jessi T., Anony M., Chase C., Amy S., Angela I., & Susan C. for scaring all the brides-to-be out there.
*****
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Reader Comments (30)
"I want the ribbons to be Slime Green" said no bride, ever. That fifth cake - are the bride and groom sinking into the top of the cake? And are those *flower bulbs" decorating the tiers? Daffodil bulbs are poisonous - although on a cake such as this, that might not be a bad idea.
First one doesn't really look wrecked to me.
...now I see it. Who doesn't completely frost a cake? Yikes
Your song is lovely. Those cakes? Not so much. I bet every one of those brides cried.
Considering some of the wrecks posted in the past, some of these aren't half bad. Then again, they aren't have good either.
Cake #3, and cake #8 reminded me of of how grateful I am of being divorced.
How do they get away with it...
What are those on cake #5? Horse chestnuts? WHY? (Bet the bride had a long face. As my daughter would say, "Get it? Get it? Horse? LONG face? Ba-chum-hiss!" Ah, kids don't have very subtle humor...)
The 7th one looks like step pyramid of djoser. (with a couple of hearts on it) Does anyone else see that?
Well.... if cake 1 had been a different color, I wouldn't mind it too much... I can't tell where it isn't frosted, but that could just be age and slowly deteriorating eyesight!
Cake #5 is a beach scene, and the bride and groom are sitting in the sand. Those are supposed to be shells around the cake, and they seem to be chocolate ones (and are at least edible!)
Okay, I just gotta ask. Are those bakers all blind? Because those are some ugly baked goods, my friends.
So sad for you Jen! #1 wrecked your favorite color combo. I wonder how long it took to come up with those two particular colors. Yeesh!
The Babylonians figured out how to build pyramids. The Aztecs figured out how to build pyramids. The Egyptians figured out how to build pyramids.
Graduates of the Larry Storch School of Baking, maybe not so much.
HAL - It's been crumb-coated, but the final coating of frosting was never put on.
The fifth cake looks like she is giving birth and the groom is her birth coach.
The first one - I like the bow on top. But upon first glance, the overall cake looked as if it was covered in graham cracker crumbs or brown sugar...perhaps to look like sand/the beach?
I SOOOO wish there were like buttons for the reader comments!
am I the only one seeing boobs for miles on the last one?
Hoo boy, those are some cr@ppy cakes. Poor brides. Well, it'll make a funny memory, I guess!
@ the One who remains nameless:
Dang if you ain't right! Let await Gozar the Traveler!
:-)
Cake #6 is bad in so many ways. But I am stumped by the topper. I see the 2 silver hearts, but what are the other 2 things? I'm seeing a strange balloon animal & a creepy skull. Why ???
Questioning the placement of live snails on the lower tier? Escargot is supposed to be classy, eh?
What are those?
Scary what's out there, indeed.
Cake #5 has, I believe, tiny bits of SEAGLASS on the upper layer, and real seashells on the bottom layer. And here's the topper: http://www.magicalday.com/Cake_Toppers/Beach_Lounging/lounging_large.jpg
This is when I am so glad I asked my 'amateur' mom and sister to make my wedding cake. It turned out perfect, and there was no fear of a cake wreck!
Oh how glad I am not to be a bride to be anymore lmao. If I saw those before my wedding I would have probably panicked and tried to make one myself. Which would promptly be put on here lol.
The strange brown objects on the fifth cake are Guylian seashell chocolates. They look like the only edible parts of the cake.
Theresa - Well, a "nine month premie" IS one of the classic reasons to get married, so...
Pretty sure the first one is the cake for the Plasterers' Convention.
Second one from the top- it looks like someone couldn't decide between a croquembouche and a cake. Why is it splashed with chocolate, though? That part of it looks scary.