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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Nah, These Won't Traumatize The Kids At ALL

These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.

Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!

Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)

Now, who wants ice cream?


"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"

See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah T.?


Speaking of teeth...

This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?


[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"

[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"

[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!

"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."

You've got a killer eye there, Andrew C.


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Reader Comments (19)

Was that second to last kid's name really "Phillipas," or were there multiple children named Phillipa being celebrated on that cake....

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

I, um, wow. The headless bobby-soxer with the "poodle" (I thought it was made of flowers!) was traumatizing enough...until I saw the 3 Little Pigs one. That brought back all of my childhood nightmares because I was scared of the Big Bad Wolf. Plus it looks they didn't finish the story, he blew the house down made of straw and the pigs with it and that apparently was it. And why pig butt? It's not cute, it's horrifying!

Dead elephants. Dead. Elephants. Just no. And yes, I do think that dinosaur is trying to eat you!

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBossyHeifer

Fatal events have been known to occur...

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Blue poo elephants-who knew?

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLinda J....

Love that T-Rex! I'd like him on my birthday cake. :D
Those half-pigs are pretty disturbing, almost as much as Dead Elephants.
Poor Anna & Haley. No bueno on the Headless Poodle Skirt girl.

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

Headless Flo is also the product of a terrible meat grinder accident. No Hands~

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Hmmm...Do you think maybe the parents of 'dead elephants #1!" birthday cake kid saw a cake with dead-drunk PINK elephants on it, missed the point ENTIRELY and thought, "oh, baby Joey Jojo Jr. Shabadoo has an elephant-themed nursery, let's ask for that... but in BLUE?"

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Ridiculous

Dead elephants? Looks more like drunk elephants.

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

But the elephants . . . why? WHY??

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEmilie

We all know that Hungry Hungry Hippos cake was a prop at an over-eaters anon convention.

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The T-Rex is actually from a Wilton Yearbook, or I've gone senile.

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Do not taunt the dead elephants.

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

For HAL: yes, that's a real name, mostly Greek (from the original Phillipos). Similar to Andreas.

I actually like the elephants, they are cute :) Maybe just very tired and sleeping (two of them).

May 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

They're not dead. They're pining for the Fjords.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

At age 4, my son would have LOVED the T rex cake. He's 28 now and he still might love it!

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Well those dead/drunk elephants made me laugh so hard and I am still laughing and also feeling bad for the poor kid that got that cake lol. Would love to hear the parents explain those to the kid.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

These are are all very well executed. (Ahem)
Let's be honest, first birthday parties are really for the adults. How they are going to explain it in eleven years when "G" finds the photo on an old flash drive will be interesting.

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

For some reason the dead elephants make me think of melty, partly deflated pleather plushies.

June 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGan02

I believe I know who Flo's dad is. His name is Edward Lester Mann.

Clearly she is the daughter of one Ed Les Mann.

(Shamelessly borrowed from Scott Adams, from an old Dilbert cartoon, and so credited.)

June 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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