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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I Just Realized How Phallic "Saggy Clown Volcano" Is... And I'm OK With That 

Ever see a cake so deliberately confusing that you're sure you're missing something obvious?
I mean, look at this thing:

Someone went through a massive amount of effort - different colors, squiggle techniques, flotsam arrangement - all to make a senseless, saggy clown volcano. Why? What does it mean?


Or how about this snapshot of prehistoric life found in a bakery window?

How I imagine this went down:

"Is that a bridge over all the dinosaurs?"

"Yeah. The Brooklyn Bridge."

".... are you sure?"



And now, what appears to be candy corn, sandwiched between two half-rounds of plain cake, all smashed onto a bed of... pimento... brains?

Remember when balloons on cake was a thing? And flowers? Those were the days.


And finally, Susan found this under the heading (heh) "Naughty but Nice," so I assume it's NSFW... but I can't for the life of me figure out HOW:

Somebody get me a old priest, a young priest, and an anatomy book.


Thanks to Vanessa, Jacob B., Andrea P., & Susan C. for the world's naughtiest furry hockey stick.


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Reader Comments (40)

And now pimento brains has been added to the list of things I've seen that cannot be unseen.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

OMG - i have seen som weird things here, some revolting things even - but this???? THIS?????
How am I expected to unsee this????? It´s ugly, it´s insultive, it´s so WRONG!

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdanny-the-hun

The power of Christ compels, um, figure this mess out?

And never forget, we do not gnaw on our kitty.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I lived in Brooklyn until I was 30 (yup, 3 days ago,) and I can assure you that cake #2 perfectly sums up the experience. 100%

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

If you turn the last wreck, the furry naughty hockey stick just one turn clockwise, you'll see the NSFW variation.
complete with the white squiggle. Now you can't UNSEE it, pass the eye bleach.
Uh oh, have I just let on to all Cakewreck-a-holics what a dirty old lady mind I have? I'm not alone on the gutter am I? Fellow wreckers? anyone?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Okay, on that last one: turn your head to the left, squint a little bit, think about baseball and...suddenly you see it.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Were these made on 4/20? ;)

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

And if you believe that, I have a cake under the Brooklyn Bridge to sell. I also have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterOndřej Vágner

Pretty sure the first one is a dalek clown...

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDana E

I think the candy corn/cake thing is supposed to be a taco on rice, but I can't for the life on me imagine what kind of rice is pink. Or maybe my brain just won't let me imagine it for my own sanity.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEagle

The second to last one reminds me of a taco.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRune

Just a simple supposition:
No one cares about nutrition.
(I don't, either, when it comes to cake.
But cakey nightmares keep me awake...)
What's the next to be revealed?
I've no idea, but it's been....congealed...??

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That "taco" cake is proof that not ALL food is translatable into cake. What I'm sure is supposed to be Mexican rice looks more like brain matter with chunks of red and green pepper. Definitely NOT appetizing.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBossyHeifer

Hubby took a quick look at that brown "thing" on the bottom and told me it was Frankenstein's boot.

Makes as much sense as anything else, I suppose.

I *think* that candy corn and plain cake might be a taco? OK, now you have a guess.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

This is your brain. And this is your brain on cake wrecks. Any questions?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@Cookiemama - I turned the possibly NSFW cake clockwise and it looks like a blind camel that has lost its ability to spit. I guess that still may be NSFW.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm with Dana E I think the first one is a Dalek Clown. But what I'm wondering is... what is Dalek Clown made of? Is that one cupcake with a tower of frosting? Two cupcakes piled on top of each other? Just a big mound of frosting? Frosting mixed with something cake like?? I shudder to consider the possibilities!!!!

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Quizzly

Lol! I never would have guessed! You don't look a day over early Jurassic.
Wanna get together for swamp cocktails? We can gripe about the guys never wanting to lift a boulder to help us. ;)

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Yup. First one is a dalek clown. Definitely.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The last one... an upside down hair-dryer and white cable?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

It's supposed to be a taco with cheese on Spanish rice?????

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Jgr

Dalek Clown. The scariest thing known in this (or any other) universe. Now I have my next Mash-Up costume.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Is that, um, love sauce coming, er, emitting, um, in the vacinity of the top of the fuzzy hockey stick?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEnneff

@SuBee, ya know? Now I see the blind camel too! Poor fella, no ability to spit. Ever been spit on by a camel? it's a treat I tell ya. Okay, just grossed myself out with the memory. But yep, I see that camel in the wreck photo, thank you my friend!

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

new here- whqat does nsfw mean?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

The last two are a taco cake and a hair dryer. I think...

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Slightly disappointed that I'm the first one to think of the Super Mario Bros. movie with that dinosaur/Brooklyn Bridge cake.
Barb - Either you're joking, or - Welcome to the Internet. "NSFW" means "Not Safe For Work," in other words, "naughty pictures."

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie NK

NSFW: Not Suitable For Work

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterYou're welcome

Putting a nose on it does not make it right.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Is the last one Devil's Tower with a bit of cloud? Say yes. Just say yes.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I think the dinosaur one could be saying Bronklyn Bridge, so maybe a brontesorus pun?

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPaige

Wait, I've got it! The first "cake" is a coconut tree at sunset. You can see the three brown coconuts, the long green palm fronds, the round red sun off to the right that is causing red reflections in the rippling blue water. In the background, between the tree fronds, is the fluorescent pink of the sky at sunset. And don't you see, at the bottom on the cake board, there's a strip of yellow sand? And a giant pink tapeworm lying at the water's edge...

OK, never mind, you're right, it's just a pile of leftover icing that the baker didn't want to waste.

April 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterlmr

That last one had me laughing so hard and still does. I know not what they were going for but they sure got something.. uh interesting? Lol.

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I'd say the first one definitely needs more icing. Not a joke.

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Cookiemama- I took the bait. If I turn the last cake 90o clockwise, it looks like leg stubs. That makes it more understandable, but I'm not sure it makes it any better! 8-/

To the others-thanks for explaining that is supposed to be rice-I see the "taco", but what was underneath was beyond me!

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@Classic Steve -- "..your brain on Cakewrecks". Classic indeed.

@SuBee--your "blind camel with an inability to spit" had me gaffawing ... Thanks, I needed that!

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

That last one has"camel-scaped"...yeah, that's it. *shudder*

April 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

That last cake looks like one of these guys: <url></url>

April 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I wonder is that last cake supposed to be a boomerang?

May 1, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterinvader

Is ... is it SUPPOSED to be a penis cake? Because if it is it's seriously the most poorly executed one I've ever seen.

May 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCady

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