AND DON'T CALL HIM "PATTY"
March 17, 2017 Today we come together as a nation to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the most thoughtful, respectful manner possible...
;)
...while insinuating Irish people are a bunch of drunk leprechauns.
As a person of Irish heritage myself, I'm actually more disturbed by whatever's happening here:
;)
Whatever it is, it is WAY too happy to see you.
Or here:
;)
[Monty Python voice]: PLAGUE.
Or the fact that green plastic hats somehow make any cake St. Patrick's Day appropriate:
;)
Sláinte.
So whether you get your rocks off with that whole kissing thing:
;)
Never to be taken for granite.
Or by asking bakers if they happen to have 6 fingers on their right hand:
;)
INCONCEIVABLE.
Here's hoping you have a delightful St. Patrick's Day, minions.
Now, go enjoy one of these traditional Irish treats:
;)
...while Internet commenters everywhere give their yearly speech on how "St. Patrick wasn't even Irish."
Ahhh, holidays.
Thanks to Annie & Matt, Abbey R., Tracie F., Anne B., Andrew M., Bekka N., Molly S., & Interweb mansplainers everywhere for the inspiration to drink more.
*****
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Reader Comments (35)
Um…in reference to the bottle "Patty" is holding, was the baker trying to spell Guiness?
I guess the first one is a "Patty-Cake".
Was the beer bottle in cake 1 supposed to say Genius, the lesser known American version of Guinness?
The title of your post made me afraid to look at the cakes. I always slightly overreact when I see "Saint Patty". I come from a very Irish family and have an uncle named Patrick who has had Paddy spelled wrong his whole life. Who is "Saint Patty?" Paddy's long lost sister? Why can't we just leave Patrick alone? It's only two more letters and is misspelled way less often. Cake #1 also has the lass "Patty" holding a beer called "Genius". I hope that was intentional and not the result of a misheard direction. "Hey, Chris, write ''St. Paddy's Day' on this cake and give the stoned leprechaun a bottle of Guinness while you're at it.". "Sure thing, Pat!". Although that conversation is probably close to what actually happened. Good day it's acceptable to start drinking at 9 AM today. I need a beer.
Stop messing with my favorite holiday, bakers!
Erin Go Bragh.
WHAT is that Blarney Stone monstrosity? With the eyelashes? And the ribbons and various different candies tossed around the edges? I laughed out loud at the six- fingered hand. You guys make my day.
MaryO1230
In all seriousness, WTF is that second thing supposed to be?!?!??! And I would never kiss the thing on the kiss me cake, because it looks like a petri dish sample I saw once, with eyeballs drawn on. O_o
That first cake is Guinness -- I mean Genius! Really, I never noticed before that Guinness and Genius are so closely related, but now that I see it, it can't be denied. Guinness really is Genius. Or is there a beer actually called Genius?
Did you simiply not notice "GENIUS" instead of "GUINESS" on the bottle in the first one? Or were you waiting for us to comment? If so, GENIUS!
The first leprechaun is a genius! It says so on his drink!
You didn't mention that the first cake probably ought to be drinking "Guinness," not "Genius."
(And so what if Saint Patrick wasn't Irish? Jesus wasn't Christian. Harp on the fact that he's not canonized instead.)
At least the "drunk Irish" are smart! They're drinking "genius".
What I find disturbing is that the lucky charm donut things appear to be nearly sold out. (and of course the thing with the top hat, that is super creepy)
The grey blobby thing in #5 would be the Blarney Stone?
...while Internet commenters everywhere give their yearly speech on how "St. Patrick wasn't even Irish."
So, no King Cake Epcot Bunker Action for St. Patrick's Day here? And I even bought a new frock for the occasion. ;) (Hey, at least the drunk leprechaun is a "Genius" -- you are what you drink, right?)
You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means...
They are all MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!
And now for something completely different: "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Oh no...the comfy chair...ahem...
Anywho,
Cake #1 looks like it could be on the Muppet Show!
Cake #2: I read the description on the label: "Message cookie with decoration". "It says 'decoration', Sam. Just put anything as long as it's green." Well, how 'bout a Neanderthal from Mars?
An excuse to eat iced pastry and Lucky Charms cereal!!! Hot dang! As for the rest of the wrecks....errrrr let's just pretend we don't see them.
The Lucky Charms on the donuts made me laugh out loud! Yep! Tradition!
The 6th cake clearly had 6 fingers on his right hand. My father was slaughtered by a six fingers cake. . I loved my father, so, naturally, challenged his murderer to a duel ... I failed ... the six-fingered cake did leave me alive.I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail.
Did anyone notice that one of the hands of the Claddaugh had too many fingers?
#1 Drunken leprechaun...on LSD?
Repeat after me:
Guinness
Guinness
Guinness
Not Genius, or never Guiness.
And here I was all set for a clover vs. shamrock debate.
*snicker* And after seeing this a few years ago, this is what I think of when I hear leprechaun. Did someone say "lumbrechaun?!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvJFDoCtkw8
Becky, I think everyone noticed. That was sort of the point of the Wreck. :-D
1) I assume the beer on the first wreck is, in fact, supposed to be a "Guinness". Or not... One never knows...
2) Nothing... and I mean NOTHING say's "St. Patrick's Day" like Lucky charms tossed randomly on top of a green-frosted long john! NOTHING!!!
@boakingaccident63: Well, sure, but usually more on Rush Street. :)
(For the non-Chicago-savvy: LSD is often used as an abbreviation for Lake Shore Drive, a wonderful highway that parallels the lake shore and goes through a goodly portion of Chicago, including the scenic skyline areas. Rush Street, by contrast, is where the businesses tend towards bars and nightclubs. ... and now I've ruined the joke by explaining it. Doh!)
Seriously? All I need to decorate a St Patrick's Day cake-thing is smash some lucky charms on it? Really?!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! Looks like the wreckerators were already drunk making these things. Can't stop laughing at the weird looking green bearded uh dude that is way to happy to see anyone. Lol that is priceless.
I am choosing to believe that the otherwise cute Muppet/Firey wannabe on cake #2 has a tail. :p
Five is a very nice cake of a potato going on a date. You don't see enough potato themed cakes.
AH! Ha!! no one else has clarified the Not irish thing yet, here beginneth the lesson, Saint Paddy was a welshman, and the original recipe for the beer that became famous as Guinness was first written down in welsh in North Wales. So swap out those green things and get a Draig Goch!!
Poor little granite blob! She's so hoping her Irish ruse will finally get her kissed.
(Eric Idle voice): "But that one's been run through with a sword!"
(Madeline Kahn voice:): "'E fell on it!"
@Diddleymaz CYMRU AM BYTH!! (Means "Wales Forever")