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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec192017

A Cup Of Holiday Crazy

Has Christmas gotten a little too predictable for you this year?

Well not to worry; these bakers aim to baffle.

I never knew empty eye sockets could see so well... INTO MY SOUL.

 

Half a mustache or a bloody nose?

 

Ugly sweater or brick chimney?

 

French fries or those crunchy things you put on casseroles?

 

And is that a pig?

YOU DECIDE.

 

I assembled a crack team to decipher this next one, and both cats agree: it's not NEARLY as interesting as their own butts.

 

Oh, and remember, if you see a pretzel jammed in a pile of frightened poop today, it's probably supposed to be a reindeer:

 

 

No one really knows why, and frankly, this one has me afraid to ask:

o.0

[backs away slowly]
[bumps into table]
[knocks over huge pile of metal pans, cymbals, and hub caps]
[bows]

Thank you.

 

Now, just a few more inches, and Nick the Neck Beard will FINALLY get his first taste of tinsel:

 

All together now:

WOO!

 

Thanks to Louise B., Darla S., KM, Anony M., Kristi B., Lisa C., Nick M., Liz, Chelsea W., Katherine H., & Melinda H. for keeping it weird.

*****

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« Different Madonna, Different "Holiday" | Main | HE SEES YOU: A Holiday Horror Story »

Reader Comments (15)

1) Rudolph the red nosed...coconut?
2) Below the nose/moustache - is that lips, a fish or a blimp?
3) It's a sleeping bag. Poor old guy needed a nap after robbing Whoville.
4) Bakers, this is the last straw!
5) This is a horribly mutated elf...that wants to become...an interior decorator. (You thought I was going to say "dentist", didn't you?)
6) My "gut" instinct tells me it's Santa's belly. He's now officially so fat, it's all you can see of him.
7) Rudolph? Poo-dolph? This defies all pretzel logic.
8) Santa Claus conquered the Martians. It seems Rudolph interbred with them.
9) This was done upside down. Those black things aren't antlers, they're claws. These are Christmas hermit crabs.
10) Maybe we should call him St. Neckolas. Or is that Neckamore?
11) Mr. Bill and the Gingerbread Man from Shrek were involved in an accident at the nuclear power plant and this is the result.

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I would like to think the Christmas pig is a Discworld Hogfather reference.
(I mean, it's probably not, but it's nice to think it is.)

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterheidrance

That's clearly Santa's belt.

What's with the hubcaps?

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

The second cake has a whole mustache, but half of it is curled up around Santa's eye.
And I love that round one with the Santa belt, it looks just like an ornament I have! Well, not nearly as nice.
Baby Jesus is lying on crunchy potato sticks, and that is definitely a pig.
And Nick is just way too strange for me to even decide how I feel about it, but it's not good.

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Yeah..they're just potato sticks, but I want them to be chow mein noodles. .....
......dream big, folks. Dream big.
=^-.-^= p.s. : Anyone else see Al Jolson in the G.man?

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The first one looks like a demon Arthur (PBS)

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

I think the gray pig is supposed to represent H.O.G.: Hanging of the Greens. It is holding a wreath, after all.

H.O.G. is such a "thing" (in Protestant churches anyway) that you can get free clip-art images for it on the internet, to adorn church bulletins and newsletters and such.

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLinB

At first I thought the first cake was Arthur Read of 'Arthur' fame!

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLi

Anyone else getting a little Arthur vibe on the first one? That was my first guess - only need to add a yellow cake board. ><>

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

LinB, whenever I hear "Hanging of the Greens" I think, "well, they should have known better than to sit in MY pew!"

We actually did have a member of our congregation ask visitors to move. Oh, lawsy!

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Oh, BTW, is that last cake chocolate or white? The stickers say both.

December 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Well I know for sure that first cake is looking into my soul and now I won't sleep lol.

December 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Poop-Deer needs to see a gastroenterologist for a colon cancer screening.

And that Chocolate Fudge Torte underneath? I don't care WHAT it's SUPPOSED to be. I WANT TO EAT IT!

December 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

How, exactly, does one frighten a poop?
Never mind. Don't answer.

December 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFM

@FM You scare the s**t out of it.

December 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMike

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