My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Wreckers Who Don't Bake Pirate Things

♫  Arr arr ARR!!

We are the wreckers 

who don't bake pirate things!

Any ship we make

  Looks run-aground!


And if you ask us

To bake pirate things... 

We'll just tell you...

We can't bake pirate things.

Wellllllll weeeee've ... 

Never seen a doubloon

And our "octopus" ain't clever

And we think the Jolly Roger 

is that weird guy from the mall!

And our swords are always phallic

 Treasure Island's full of plassss-tic!

And our pirate chest 

looks like it took a fall!

'Cauuusssee weeee're the


Who can't bake pirate things

See, our skull and 'bones 

will astound!!

So if you ask us 

to bake pirate thiiinnngggsss...

We'll just tell you...

We can't bake pirate things.


There now. Arrrrrn't you glad we're done?

Thanks to Laura I., Vicki H., Cindy G., April L., Dianne P., Jeanne T., Courtney S., Sara H., Shannon T., and Steph R., who I trust have never kissed a chipmunk.

All together now, ye scalawags!


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Reader Comments (26)

Five lighthouses on one island? I just hope the horse doesn't knock any of them over! Love the song, BTW. Now, I'll be humming it all day long!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Just what I needed on a gray Monday. xD

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

I've never been to Boston in the fall!!!!!

But then, I don't look good in leggings!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Now I have that song stuck in my head! Arrrrr (gh)

How can you get a skull and crossbones wrong?

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkelly k

I was too busy singing along the first time, had to go back through again to actually appreciate the wrecks. LOL great job with a fun song!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

Best blog ever!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFefj

My theme song :)

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterL

Thanks for the smile - much needed!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commentertiff

I actually sang your lyrics to the tune out loud. It was awesome!!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Denghel

We've been fans of the Veggietale gang since the 90's! Your wreckerator song version was great. I hope you made some new fans for the vegetables.

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrasi


November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLinda K

It is about time!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

Well done! I don't have it running through my head, but I do have some of the other Silly Songs running through my head now. "Miren el pepino..."

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPhillip S

You're making me hungry! Love this blog!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElodie

Another great post! Thanks for providing the YouTube reference so those of us not hip to Veggie-tales can be in on the parody.

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJuin


November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBexiCat

I'M going to go and live on the island, with the critters and the turbulent water,THREE lighthouses(or four?), an elk, and Mr.Ed.!!!
Where can I catch the ferry??
No time to lose!

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I once had a pirate ship cake crack apart just like the one in the first photo ... which is why I did practice runs first and sorted out a sturdy base for the actual presentation (which went flawlessly).

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

These wrecks may not be mashed potatoes, but they should be thrown up against the wall, anyway.

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMike

You need some Alestorm playing in the background while looking at these. "Keelhaul that filthy landlubber send him down to the depths below. Make that ba---- walk the plank with a bottle of rum and a yo-ho-ho!"

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

So perfect. Thanks for the pick-me-up today. I needed it!! <3

November 13, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieO

That purple thing staring at me is an Octopus? Lol I still think it's a space alien in disguise. That or Jack Sparrow drank way too much rum and hit a tree while water skiing lol.

November 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Thanks for the earworm. Thankfully, I will be losing it later this evening.

I don't look good in leggings, and I've never been to Boston in the fall.

November 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterIndigo

This post made me giddily happy!

November 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSakrysta

Are we sure that the pink “octopus” is supposed to be, well, an octopus? Because it actually looks like quite a passable octorok to me. Seethe majora’s mask one here:

November 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKikari

My family has been huge fans of Veggie Tales since I was a child. This was a hilarious and fitting parody. I found myself singing along and laughing between photos. Top notch humor!

December 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

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