My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Going Through a Rough Patch

It's the quintessential symbol of Halloween: the Jack-O-Lantern. Fortunately, it's also one of the easiest designs for a baker to make. Just take one round cake, ice it in orange, add a cartoony face, and...voilá!


Er. Heh, sorry. Let's try that again.


That's...not a cake.


[rolling up sleeves] Voila!

Is that...plastic?




A Pumpkin Poo-nicorn. Well. That's a first.


[through gritted teeth] Voi-la.

What the...what IS that? Come on, seriously, there's no way you could make this thing look less like a pumpkin!


Allow me to retract that last statement.


Knock, knock.

Well? Orange you glad I didn't say "voila?"


Hm. Maybe the problem lies in trying to make the whole cake look like a pumpkin. Maybe if the baker just drew a pumpkin ON the cake...



[more blinking]



Dorota, Carra M., Melody N., Shanna T., Andrew M., Ted, Donny & Amanda, Kaitlin K., & T.A., don't ask me; I'm going with "abstract jack-o-lantern."


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Reader Comments (25)

Is that ketchup or barbeque sauce on the pumpkin poo-nicorn?

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

I like the first one. It's the perfect mix of funky and terrifying.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

I recognize the pumpkins on that last cake because that's exactly how I draw pretty much everything. Outlines are all you get with me. And though that first one is nightmare-inducing, at least it is a well executed nightmare.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

More like 'joke-o-lantern', am I right?

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

I'm going with pumpkin Elton John on that first one. I have no idea what the rest of these are supposed to be though.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

1) One of the modern art suns got a suntan.
2) How many noses does a "pumpkin" need? (This one seems a bit corny).
3) Now we go from suns to clouds. Is this Puffy, the tragic pumpkin?
4) Sorry, Jen. Slightly mislabeled. It's a Pumpkin poo-wang-nicorn, (with a *$#* eating grin).
5) Huh? Looks like a loaf of bread dyed orange.
6) A green toothed pumpkin? Guess the inside wasn't ripe yet.
7) Looks like one of those interesting monsters Bugs Bunny met.
8) Poopkins! (Of the diarrhea variety).
9) Are these "artistic" renderings of Cinderella's pumpkin coach, cross sections of apples, or a three-eyed alien being without a nose or mouth? Only the baker knows for sure.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Uhhhhh no.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

#1 - The Chiclets (sp?) for teeth can't disguise the fact that this is clearly a KISS pumpkin - star over one eye, blood coming out from near the mouth, totally unappetizing.

#2 - Kind of cute but yeah, not a cake, appears to be popcorn.

#3 - *RALPH* A CCC (patooie!) the color of old baby aspirin with plastic bits - cheating AND nauseating!

#4 - Pumpkin poo-nicorn says it all. I have nothing to add.

#5 - This is clearly a meatloaf trying to disguise itself as a pumpkin with "grass" and by smothering itself in orange. Not working.

#6 - I see no pumpkin here. I see a Muppet's sad face if you chopped it in half across the mouth. UGH.

#7 - Totally an angry orange. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

#8 - Circus peanuts with green moustaches and a bad comb-over.

#9 - Orange power buttons. That's all I see. I'm done now. :)

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBossyHeifer

That Halloween orange sure looks pissed. Maybe it’s not a morning cake.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

@Mike: Nailed it! Now that you mention it, that Halloween orange DOES look like Bugs’ “in-TER-esting” monsters. Wonder if a pedicure would make it feel more cheerful...

We could call it “Crossamer”.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Are the last ones apple slices? Why? WHY!!!!???? Oddly, I love the poo-nicorn! He looks as cranky as I would be with that ... "horn" on my head.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commentervalarie

@Starknight: "joke-o-lantern" works in my opunion !

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

#8 looks like the stuff you scoop out of the pumpkin when carving the jack o lantern

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterColin

#1 looks like KISS meets "The Nightmare Before Christmas" which IMO is kinda groovy.
#2 not orange NOR cake.
#3 CCC (ptooie) & plastic flotsam
#4 CCC (ptooie) with kitty poo lips! Why does the brown frosting ALWAYS look like poo?
#6 The cracks run UNDER the frosting face.
#7 circus peanuts for the win!
#8 So little effort, so poorly done.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJuin

For a lot of holidays, we'd set up a table in front of the bakery with some plain cakes, and give the kids icing bags to decorate with. That's the only explanation I have for the last cake.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Pumpkin poo-nicorn" is my new favorite thing!!!!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! (I swear I'm not twelve- really. I'm an adult and everything.) Deep breath....bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Voila, for all but the last one. I think it's more Vulva! Than Voila! And, there is three of them. That begs a discussion on the correct plural form of the word vulva.

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord


Good one!

(Sadly, I pride myself on knowing so much cartoon trivia, but I had forgotten the monster's name. Guess I better go back and brush up!)

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMike

The poo-nicorn has a poopy mouth. ewww.

Maybe if the baker just puts a poompkin on a cake...just how many carrots (or pumpkins) does one have to eat before your poo is orange?

I, too, rather like the first one. Even if it looks more Oompa Loompa than pumpkin!

October 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

Those look so horrifying that instead of my fear of clowns now I need to add a fear of "pumpkin" cakes or whatever these are trying to be lol.

October 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Some wreckorator looked at the crack on #7, then just iced a face across it - when by turning the cake s/he could have covered it with a crooked mouth.

October 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

lol, those cracks are caused by icing the cake while it is still partially frozen. Grocery store bakeries don't bake their own cakes, they come already made and shipped frozen from the distribution center. They can stay in the freezer for up to a year, but best not to think too much about that. They are individually sealed in plastic to prevent freezer burn, but anyway...if you get impatient and ice it too soon, as it thaws and expands it creates those cracks you see in the icing. I confess I have been guilty of this before I knew better.

October 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Hyena Overlord— vulvae? I thought on that last one, either peaches cut in half or... va-jay-jays.
The third from the bottom is kinda cute actually. And the first one is creepy but at least with attention to detail!

October 14, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSpazzy

I find those pumpkin cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles actually pretty cute even if they aren't what was requested. ^^

October 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTesla

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