My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Penal Code Violations

NOTE: These cakes may have been meant for children, but the commentary is not. Double entendres ahead!


Do you ever get the feeling that certain bakers are up to business?

I think this monkey lacks a certain...appeal.


I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems like some of today's wreckerators are getting downright...


(I had two different readers send in two different pictures of this cookie cake, btw. See?)

There's something kind of awesome about having a pair of photos of a pair blobby things.

(Swinging plums? Low riders? Crown jewels? Man tonsils? Pant Potatoes? Scroto Baggins? Ok, internet, you've earned your keep tonight.)

Oh, and I *think* they were going for a heart. Maybe. And before you ask, no, the baker should not be sacked, because this is far too entertaining.


I'm sure some of you may think I'm being unfair. Well, not to worry, wreckerators; you'll get your day in court.

Just no dribbling, please.


There's a certain bakery chain (which shall continue to Remain Nameless) that has a rather curious carrot cake design. It looks like this:

You guys have sent me a bunch of examples, so I can assure you: this really is how the cake comes:

So my question is this: if we all sat around discussing the failings of this particular design, would that make it a circle jerk?



And while I'm being inquisitive, bakers, I've got to ask: do your wrecks ALWAYS have to look like dongs?


Ok, never mind.
Please bring the ding dongs back.


Thanks to Carrie C., Beth M., Rachael, Becca S., Nick D., Michelle W., & Richard for enabling me to make it four whole days into the new year before making a wiener joke. NEW RECORD!


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Reader Comments (29)

I thought those pink blobby things were supposed to be breast cancer ribbons, but who knows?

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commentererin

Actually, I strongly suspect the creator of the "pink, blobby things" was attempting a pink breast cancer ribbon. Just really, REALLY unfortunately executed.

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

My guess on the nutsack cookie cake was a breast cancer awareness ribbon that went awry and became a statement piece about another body part. I could also see heart. But I got super nerdy and looked and the date on the sticker says October, which is boob awareness month so the ribbon would make sense. Yet bakers have taught me that many things in life do not make sense.

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

1>Very happy monkey
2>Look at it upside-down, and it resembles a blobby "V"...sort of.
(But I love the "pant potatoes".)
3>Same as #2, with different lighting (pattern on cookie is the same).
4>Two weinies fighting over one condom.
5>Carrots do NOT have heads!
6>Same style as #5, but more round-HEADED.
7>NO. Just NO.
Whew~ this was something to stand up and take notice of...

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

he monkey one was almost good...that last one O_o

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I said "purse," not "puss."

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

OMG! "Scroto Baggins" I'm howling at this and ALL the "R" and "X" rated cake wrecks today. Too funny!

Today's posting is going to be a hard act to follow, but I KNOW Jen and John will reveal even funnier wrecks!


January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

What really "stood out" to me was the backwards placement of the candle on cake #1. Perhaps it was done purposely? As in "We need to distract our guests from the awkward banana location! Hmm... Backwards candle?... Perfect!"

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDee

That open purse cake......yeesh!

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

That last one is a really nice, well done cake. Maybe it belongs in Sunday Sweets?

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Just to bring in the Animal Planet perspective. I've never seen a national geographic special, jack hanna presentation on morning tv, or a tarzan movie where a chimpanzee or monkey was holding a banana that far from its mouth. Bakers need to do a little more research, and if that design is part of the official repertoire of the bakery, they need a re-design, FAST!

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterColin

To whom do I submit my request for a new monitor? One not spattered in coffee? The last cake.... took the cake!

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Perhaps the last one an 'homage' to Georgia O'Keefe, or Judy Chicago. They portrayed the female temple of awesomeness and were recognized as great artists.

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersandy g.

Yeah, agreed with everyone above, that... nutty cookie is almost certainly an attempt at a breast cancer ribbon.

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFrankie

My wife glanced at the carrot cakes and said "At least they're circumcised"

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDave Cee

Just wanted to add that the last cake of the purse with "lip stick" is the visual definition of "a hot dog down the hallway."

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAmyLynn254

Those 'carrot' cakes could be worse - if the wreckerators added naked mohawk baby carrot jockeys, it would all be just too dreadful...

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Is that suppose to be a lipstick in that, huh, purse? DARE I ASK? 😳😬

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJalex

I'm thinking the pink blobs are supposed to be a heart too. Explains the heart shaped confetti around the edges just and awkward angle.....and

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGayle

Hilarious! Glad I saw it before "Big Brother" blocked it. Haha! I think the "nutty cake" is a hilarious attempt at a heart, upside-down. And, the carrot cake should be called "Adam Cake" because that sure looks like a little green fig leaf!

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy

OK, so we were having a Personal Safety Awareness training for this co-ed teen branch of Boy Scouts and had to watch this horrible set of videos on internet safety, suicide prevention, sexual harassment and date rape. Just what I want to be watching with 14 and 15 year olds. :/ Anyway, we were talking about rape vs date rape (spoiler - SAME THING) and one of the leaders ,who happens to be a retired police officer, starting throwing in some trivia about the line between sexual battery and sexual assault. He ends with, "It's really helpful to know the penal code when discussing topics like this." I froze, gave him a little side glance, and he was looking right at me grinning, just DARING me to laugh like a 12 year old boy. So hard to be an adult sometimes. The good news is that on the way home my son learned the difference between the words "penal" and "penile."

January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterScoutMom

talk about a circular firing squad

January 5, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterboakingaccident63

Pink blobby things - ballsy move by the baker!

January 5, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkismet

The banana is even shaped more like a, um, you know, rather than a banana.

On the bottom of the court one I mistakenly read condom and had to do a double take.

For the carrot ones I'm not sure if the designer has never seen a carrot, is a big fan of dildos, or is just telling us why the frosting is white.

January 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThor

I think that last cake looks like a hoo haw with teeth on it. That could just be me though but gah lol. I am dying of laughter at the nameless bakery of which I am sure most of us know and the evil wang cakes.. man I cannot stop laughing.

January 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That monkey is not entirely the bakery's fault! See the cute animal bag behind the cake? In the top right corner is that monkey. The people who ordered the cake asked for it. It's a cute bag but I can't tell you the number of times I've had to replicate it in icing. If given a choice I go for the zebra.

Here's a link to the full image:

January 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFormer wrecker

Cake #4 ("basketball court"): at first glance, I thought it said "Happy 10th Birthday Condom".

January 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commentergrrljock

Regarding that cake with the orange things on it: There's no way anybody can convince me someone was looking at carrots when they designed that thing.
No way.

January 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGary

That last one is either a highly fashion-conscious Sarlaac, or a Vagina Dentata out on the town. Not sure which.

January 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

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