My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Not Even Re-MOAT-ly

When your kid wants a castle cake, but castle cakes are too expensive:

"Why is there a beach cake in front of it?"

"It's a moat."

"With palm trees?"

"... yes."



"So should we talk about the stairs, or ...?"

"You know what? NO CAKE FOR YOU."


Thanks to Stephanie A. for not being afraid to step in and make a splash.


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Reader Comments (31)

The towers/turrents (penises, peni (?) are what made me O_O

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

That's one weirded out cake wreck!!!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryo1230

Are frosted pretzel rods?

Also, it needs a couple shark fins.

Also, why is the Beast hanging out with Jasmine?

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I can't believe you're ignoring the pokey penises.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

If I were queen and I lived in a castle, there'd definitely be a beach in front of it.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee


Beg your pardon guys, but from where I come from we do ha a castle (fortress) with a moat, by the beach. And it has palm trees.

El Castillo de San Felipe del Morro has been declared World Heritage site by the UN.

It doesn't have pink penises (towers) or stairs from the outside or badly placed Disney characters.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

@ Tere: The difference is that you don't try to call your beach a moat! Hahahaha

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Well, I think they've called plenty of attention to themselves.
And it's not nice to stair....(stare? Who, me??)
=^-.-^= "Ah-TEN -SHUN!!"

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ Heather: TOUCHE! :) :) :)

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

Like many of the other posters above, I CANNOT believe you did not comment on the penile towers. I am shocked -- SHOCKED at you Jen! And very disappointed. :) But, we still love you.

Now, on a non-dirty, non-teasing note, I am laughing at the stairs that go straight into

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Those pink towers look more like ... wait ... what are those?

I agree with Tere, El Castillo de San Felipe del Morro definitely doesn't have weirdly placed Disney characters!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

It's hard to be sure, because the picture is a little fuzzy, but I think that moat has boats zipping around in it leaving frothy white wakes behind them.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterlmr

The cardboard castle is fantastic, and this is obvi Prince Eric and Princess Ariel's abode. How else can her family visit?

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Moat: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. (Insert Inigo Montoya GIF here).

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterEmilie

I wonder if the kid was happy? Because Im sure they were. Its a great idea although i would have removed the palm trees and made the stairs a drawbridge, but some tried to make a kid happy within their means. I give them an "A" fir effort. Just my opinion.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMoonfl9wr912

And what are the weird red and white striped ropes hanging from the towers? Looks like the ropes used to cordon off the kiddie section of the pool. Maybe the lifeguards aren't on duty in the "tropical moat" below?

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

The castle is made of cardboard boxes and paper towel tubes, because a castle cake is too expensive. The parents then bought the "moat" cake and placed it in front of the homemade castle. It looks like mom and dad put in a lot of work to make this display. You gotta admire that, even if the result makes you giggle.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterbettycream

Tube meat turrets.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

:/ :/

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

HA!! NO CAKE FOR YOU!! Come back, one year!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJan

You know, I kind of like it. It is weird, but fun! And I bet the kids who came to the birthday party thought it was great. Bless the parents' hearts, they tried their best! Except for the moat/beach cake out front it doesn't look as if it is professionally done.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Wait, someone PAID for this?! It looks like a home-made creation--if it is, then points for trying to be creative. But if it ISNT, well, that gives new meaning to 'waterfront property.' Or maybe it's supposed to be Ariel's castle at the edge of the ocean?

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Maybe it's supposed to be Ariel's castle from the end of Little Mermaid 2. They have a set of stairs that goes directly into the ocean. Although that doesn't explain Jasmine, the Beast, or the pink "towers".

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKA

I would like to compliment the parents for thinking outside the square. I bet the kid loved it!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

If someone paid $500 expecting an elegant cake that's one thing. But if parents made it then I give em props, they clearly worked to make something their kid would love. It's a beautiful gift & probably lots more fun than a "perfect" cake.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMel & Bela age 7

I have no words to describe how I feel about this cake. The hysterical laughter scaring my neighbors should be enough lol.

February 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Presumably this is a cake for a girl, a Disney princess thing. Even so, what on earth possessed the creator to make the turrets pink? What is wrong with these people?

February 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Ummmm, I will give the parents a gold star for trying......but that is one confused mess!

February 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Jen did not have to mention the pink towers, everyone with experience on this website saw it immediately :-)

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

It's hard enough being a mom On a budget without fearing Cake Wreaks.

February 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLee

I can't pound on this cake.

The castle is made of either pink foam board/and or cardboard. It looks like it was air brushed/spray painted.

Someone without a whole lot of cash, tried to make a little girl's day special.

The castle might have been part of the birthday present. The back inside could be made into a doll house.

So while it's not the $6K perfectly crafted birthday cake to (insert trendy girl spawn name here), I have no snark to give. The girl was probably thrilled. I pretty sure that store bought cake was tasty. Props to whoever pieced that castle together without much money.

I'm the first to hammer on fug, nasty, money stealing cakes. I have been that poor where you only got $20 in your pocket to make the magic happen. I think cake is in the later camp.

High five for up cycling and making a kid's day!

February 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect

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