My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Today's post is a little different, and doesn't quite fit my standard definition of a wreck - but it's just too darn funny not to share. 

Today's post is also probably NSFW, and unless you want some really uncomfortable discussions with your children, NSFK, either.

So, assuming you're at home and have no kids around, YOU MAY PROCEED.



In the spirit of Pan-Tastic, we here at CW want you to get the most mileage out of your shaped cake pans. To that end, allow us to, this:



Juuuuust a lighthouse.

 ("Be a beacon?!") 

(If you get that reference, I will personally award you one million geek points.)


And also this:

Old Macdonald had a farm.

 Which was clearly compensating for something.


Of course, your pan may be a slightly different model, so there's also this option:

Those pesky UFOs - always taking off to the right.


Or this:

I'm coocoo for COCONUTS!



By now I'm sure you're wondering where all these brilliant designs came from. Well, would you believe there's a whole website dedicated to finding alternative uses for that most distinctive of shaped cake pans? 'Cuz there is, and I think you'll agree that blogger/baker Holly is a veritable WIZARD at making me bust a gut laughing:

 You'll never hear a reference to Mr. Wizard the same way again.

And here's one final option, spotted at an actual baby shower:

There's something ironic about using this particular pan for a baby shower cake. Or is it appropriate? Ironically appropriate? Whatever. IT'S FUNNY.

My thanks to Thomas S., whoever it was that originally sent me the link to Holly's site, and the rest of you for not yelling at me in the comments about how these aren't professional or at ALL appropriate. I KNOW.

But to be fair, neither am I. ;)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (51)

I'm trying to figure out why I would buy this pan in the first place . . . on second thought, I think I'm just going to back away slowly.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Somebody really needs to be given hea.... help!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

I will gladly take my one million geek points, thank you very much. Hubby and I will ALWAYS quote that line when the word "beacon" is mentioned. Sometimes I try to get him to say the word "Passport" for me all sexy-like.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"And give him whenever he needs it. Be a beacon in his sad and lonely life!"

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterplc

That UFO cake is amazing. Also this whole post was amazing.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

"Be A Beacon" - one of my all time favorite movies ever! It's just so damn well put together. The acting, the music, the writing..... I worked with David Strahairn once and out of his decades long amazingly illustrious career the only questions I had for him were about Sneakers.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTheLadyJAK

Thanks for the Sneakers reference--made me LOL.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

So... Is the actual pan intended to be off-color, or does it have a "legitimate" use? Inquiring minds want to know...

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"Be a beacon in his sad and lonely life."

I got that reference. :D One million geek points back at you for quoting it!!!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlix in MV

When it comes to using cake pans, thanks for setting us straight. Although some may lean a little to the left or to the right on this issue, it is clear that the important thing is how you use it. And while others may dicker around when discussing this, you stood firm, laid it out, went straight to the point and gave us this tip: enjoy your form proudly and creatively. As the pictures reveal, it doesn’t matter whether you use it in the upright position or let it dangle, it will still result in a beautiful experience. Seeing these stunning cakes will stimulate bakers everywhere, making them swollen with determination that they can rise to the occasion, spread their batter and, no longer an amateur, pro create. They’d be nuts not to try.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThe Midnight Writer

Fellas, Janek's little black box is on his desk between the pencil jar and the lamp.

Also, I think this cake pan is sold for bachelorette parties and the like.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLadybugFaerie


September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

I just feel cool for getting the Sneakers reference. Finally I get to feel cool about getting one of your inside geek jokes! :)

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJeanna

I own the actual pan. I bought it to make a cake(s) for a bachelorette party. So, depending on your definition of "legitimate reason", yes there is a reason to own this pan.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

"Be a beacon?" immediately repeated itself in my head and then I had to keep repeating it until the actor, character, and then finally movie came to mind. Nice!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercancy


September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

who knew you could do some many cakes with that "man pan" !!!!!!!! what a great post today jen...way to go!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

Those CAKES sooooooo look like a...MALE body part! ROTFLMAO! I have NO idea about the geeky reference. I'll have to look it up. :-)

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

I have many Wilton cake pans in my arsenal of cake weaponry, but alas not this one. I shall head straight out to locate this pan, though I suspect I will not find it in the Wilted, I mean Wilton section of my local craft shop. I will have to don my dark glasses and hat and visit the adult store in town for this pan won't I. It has so many uses I must have it. Jen? You DO know that because of this wonderful post, there will be a mad rush and run for these cake pans don't you? Can't wait to have this pan, ohhhh the possibilities are endless, and giggle worthy.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Yep, I have this pan. Have the "minis" also - insert NSFW joke here. ANNNNNNND, I have the sucker/lollipop mold as well! Let the smirking begin! #eroticbaking

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

I don't even bake cakes but suddenly I need one of these pans.... Would certainly be entertaining to bring to every dinner party or get together.... "No no, it's a WIZARD!" Oh, the shrieks of horror when the raspberry jam filling makes its first appearance...

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

The "dirt"/sugar sprinkles/whatever are the worst part of cake #1. It looks like some hair down there...

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimberlyR

We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing!
I work for the DOD and I quote this often. 😆 Also, I will be passing this to a friend of mine, as I doubt she's used her pan in quite some time!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

I am DELIGHTED to see so many fellow Sneakers fans on this site. 1990s Robert Redford was so hot. (Even actually starting to look old 2016 Robert Redford is hot. hubba hubba)

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Could we market this as a twofer?, Buy the Pan-demonium, (but wait, there's more!) get the Pan-wow free? (Just pay separate shipping and handling)

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermeemaw

I know #1 is a lighthouse, but people are bedazzling their private parts!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Heck, I get *none* of the movie references, also none of the TV references (I do not go to movies except on international flights and do not watch US TV) and I still love looking at Cake Wrecks.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

From Sneakers, one of my favorite movies!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRaienya

Oh goodness I guffawed quite loudly when I read the Beacon quote! Seriously one of my favorite movies. No joke last week I not only said the same quote to a co-worker *and* discussed reusing Uh, manly, cake pans with my husband on the same day. Am I a precog?

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAbigail

When I went into labor with my second son at the ungodly hour of 2:00 a.m., I watched Sneakers while I waited for the rest of the world (mainly my husband, and his parents, who would be minding our younger son) to wake up. Now it's a special movie!! :o) It will always be a beacon...

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlisha

these cakes look what you'd get on an early Monday morning when the bakers were half-cocked....

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjust passing through

@ Midnight Writer -- Thank you ... loved it!

And Jen, you don't need to excuse a slight departure from the stated rubric for the site, especially when it is so well done!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

I live on the SF Peninsula, where Sneakers was filmed.

To this DAY I have yet to be able to get my car across the right bridge at the right speed to make it sound like that.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterK`shandra

@Midnight Writer - *pffffffftbwahahaha* *falls out of chair* *ow* Brilliant!

I want this pan now. For, um, reasons.

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKai Y. Lowell

Sneakers! I love it!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Teeheehee... I'll be over here snickering in the corner...

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

lol was totally going to say exactly what PLC said. One of my favourite movies :D

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Midnight Writer takes the cake!

September 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

I was ok until I read this:

"The Penis Bake Tray is reusable, so you can use it for all your penis baking needs."

Now I'm laughing so hard I'm gonna wake up my kids!

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercr

Ok, and now that I'm done laughing, I need to just say how sad it is that all the pans were bereft of their correct and full anatomy. I know it's supposed to be a joke, but actual penises come from the factory with foreskins and so should Penis Pans!

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercr

"Cootys rat semen"…… "No…no."
One of my family's favorite movies!!! My brother and I quote it all the time.

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLiseelou

Sneakers :)

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret G Crump

Maybe I just have a twisted mind, but I'm looking at these and thinking, "There's a cake pan for bicycle seats? Why would anyone eat a bicycle seat?"
Oh well, makes as much sense as eating a lighthouse, I guess. Unless you're a Kraken. Do Kraken eat cake? I'm too far inland to ask.

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAA

Old MacDonald had no farm. It's a phallusy!

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKismet

Looooooove Sneakers. One of the movies* that all the members of my family can quote in its entirety (and we often do during family get-togethers, originally to the dismay of our spouses before we indoctrinated them!). "I have a new group of gifted children now, and I like the fact that they're under thirty." Heee!! :)

* The others are Hopscotch, with Walter Matthau;** What's Up Doc, with Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neal; The Princess Bride; and the entire original Star Wars trilogy.

** You should really watch Hopscotch - it's about a CIA agent in the early 1980s who tries to retire, but he knows too much, so they chase him. Great cast, great story, and the script fires off some absolutely BEAUTIFUL insults. "Oh, do stop following me around - you're making my dog very nervous. He detests the smell of stupidity."

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStriderGirl

I thought surely that's not a reference to Sneakers. Then I read the comments. I had NO IDEA that there were so many people who enjoy that movie as much as I do!!!

September 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

Well, yeah, but it's not a poo wang - I am disappoint.

September 16, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

I know how to make this cake look like absolutely anything... with gobs and gobs of icing and more icing!!!

September 18, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The gender reveal cake: ,,Congratulations! It's a... d**k!" Fair enough! :D

October 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

I only saw Sneakers once, a long time ago, so I admit I totally didn't get it. I did, however, IMMEDIATELY think of Death to Smoochy. "It's a rocket ship! To fly us to Jungle Land!" ;)

October 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

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