My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Getting EXACTLY What You Ask For

Ever wonder how a wreck gets ordered?


"I'd like a dragon cake, and could you have it breathing flame onto the cake board?"


"...And her name is Jayce. Like Joyce, but with an 'a,' not an 'o.'"

 (For the longest time I couldn't figure out what "a-noPanO" meant. Finally I gave up and looked up the original e-mail.)


"Oh, you're writing this down? Great. Just write, 'Good luck, Kim.' And in big letters, could you add 'Have fun!' on the form, too? Thanks!"


"I'd like it to say, 'Thank you, Lord.' Just put 'Thank you' on one side of the cross, and 'Lord' on the other."

(I don't think the wreckerator understands the true gravity of this situation.)


"I'd like it to have 'Happy Birthday, Dad,' and under that a king of hearts playing card."

It turns out that in this bakery, a picture is only worth five words.


Thanks to Abigail, Jim K., Nikolaos J., Misty K., & Kelly C., who was secretly hoping for an "Under Neat That" on the last cake. Weren't you, Kelly? It's ok, you can admit it; I was, too.


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Reader Comments (28)

I guess the Wreckerators were having fun on the form.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

That dragon one -- CLASSIC wreck!! and the cross one -- oh, my goodness. How, I ask you - HOW - could anyone think that was ok?? Really people? Would you buy that cake for yourself and give to someone? Then why would you do that? The literal ones are always so funny. I always wonder if people paid for them.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

…Thus proving that anyone can get a job as a cake decorator, so long as they have no experience with the English language, either written or spoken.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Well, on the plus side, aside from the "obvious", these are all nicely decorated... O.o

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"Breathing Flame' is actually the dragon's spirit name. It's very metaphysical and stuff.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Technically, the "Thank You Lord" cake is correct....they just have issues with special relations

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermiss paper

"King if Heart Playing Card"= priceless! What Dad wouldn't crack up when presented with this cake? I think it's actually better as a wreck than the wreck of an icing King of Hearts card.
Jayce might as well get used to her name being mangled in every way possible. My son has an unusual name - Tiege - so I know what her life will be like. She'll be having it corrected on her diplomas and marriage certificate and drivers' license. At least with cake the name is eaten and forgotten in one bite!

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

The "Have fun on the form" cake is my fave today!

@Maureen S, I too wonder if these poor wreck victims pay!

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The "Thank You Lord" cake was obviously decorated by a fan of Ender's Game. The enemy's cross is down.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth


July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

OMG bahahahahahahahahaha XD

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Kiim's cake was actually supposed to read, "Good luck, Kim. And in big letters, could you add Have fun! on the form, too? Thanks!"

I'm actually disappointed. The decorator left half of it off.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterme

Whenever I see these, I wonder if the customer made them do it over.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

You've got to admit, for an easy quickie style cake the dragon is kinda cute.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJacki J

Shirley - Evidently, they also get a signing bonus if they're color-blind and have no concept of form or anatomy - human or otherwise.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Why is no one commenting on the co-opted "h" in the King of Heart" cake? Someone forgot their "t" and crossed the "h" as an afterthought...

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Why does the dragon remind me of Big Bird?

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

"A noPan O" are now the "Words of my House". I will emboss them on my shield with Breathing Flame.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

I think the Dragon cake is darling!

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

It's always so sad to see sentience in a cake wreck like the dragon - the expression on his face seems to say, "I know I'm a melted green blob on a slab of cardboard, too cowardly to actually breathe flame I just write it and hope no one notices... Woe is me!"

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Looks like Bilbo took another Unexpected Journey and ended up at the Desolation of Breathing Flame.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Ummm. Am I alone in not understanding a-noPano? Please explain!!!!

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLara

I know the average IQ is 100, and I know that for every person with an IQ of 150, there is one with an IQ of just 50. But I still find it hard to believe that anyone could be so stupid as to think they should add "and in big letters" to a decoration. It makes me despair for the human race that either people are asking for this sort of thing deliberately, or others are so monumentally dumb as to not be able to comprehend a simple set of instructions. I just can't tell which is worse!!!

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenteriMark

Everything is spelled correctly on Kim's cake. Go figure.

July 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Did someone really ask an employee in a bakery to draw a King of Hearts playing card on a cake? I think they were lucky the wreckorator didn't even try.

July 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

@Lara; That's not "noPano," it's "not an O."

July 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBob

@ s. marie: And yet, Jayce was what they got RIGHT on the cake!

July 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa J.

Some of those were so pretty too until the writing hit the fan then all heck broke loose lol. Sheesh maybe customers should write on the darn things themselves.

July 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

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