My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

When July Is Forthcoming

It's America's birthday, e'erbody!

Don't you hate it when you get to the party and/or bakery and everyone's started drinking without you?


Of course, most folks know today simply as:

4th July of.

Or July 4th of.

Your choice.


Yes, friends, today is a day to salute all nations, but mostly America. Preferably with a glorious three-hour finale, condensed into a minute and a half. (OBSCURE MUPPET JOKE HEYOOOO)

"You are all WEIRDOS."


Today is a day of fireworks, fun, and patriotic grilled meat... um... cakes. Obviously.

"You know what this 4th of July sh*t grill needs? A FUZZY PURPLE BORDER HEYOOOO!"
- a drunk baker, probably

(John: "You already used the 'heyooo' thing, take that out."
John: "...."
Me: "Pass me my drink, farm boy. HEYOOOOO."
John: "No. You've had enough tea."
John: "I've quit better jobs than this.")


So whatever you're up to today, folks, just remember:
Today is also the day we celebrate the great Will Smith movie.

Just as soon as we remember how to spell it.


Thanks to Matthew C., Julie A., Samantha W., Katie S., & Ashleigh G. for reminding me what movie to watch tonight. HEYOOOOO.


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Reader Comments (35)

America, where we have the freedom to wreck our cakes and not get arrested for it :P

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

The eagle looks like he's wearing sunglasses! Is Sam trying to go incognito?

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

On the last one, I suspect the Wreckrator actually knew how to spell the word, it's just that he or she had to drop a letter to get it to fit ...

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterbrian t

Ha, it looks like there's already an asterisk after "your" on the first one, like when someone's trying to correct spelling on the internet... Maybe I'm just punchy from lack of sleep (Thank you neighbor who's been firing your CANNON all night) but that just brings it to a whole new level. Pass the tea please?

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTabbykitten13

My cake wreck, 'tis of thee,
(Too costly if for free,)
Of thee I sing.
Designs that hurt the eye
Oh, when did grammar die?
I guess I should have ordered pie
Such and awful thing.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

HEYOOOOO! Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans!
And remember, nothing says CCC (patooie) like a chenille bedspread frosting job.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

4th of July.

Three words. Longest is four letters long. And they STILL screwed it up.

Oh, well. At least the words are spelled correctly.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC


July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Santa must be roasting in that eagle costume.
Some people will do anything for cake and milk.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wait, that's supposed to be am eagle? I know I should have picked up on that from the "patriotic" nature of the cake, but with the mention of The Muppets all I could see is a poor rendition of the jazz Muppet guy.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Eagle? I thought it was a vulture in sunglasses.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Wait, what? That's an eagle? At best it is an owl sitting on a branch. And, quite frankly, I couldn't come up with anything until I read the comments. Except that I REALLY like chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing. REALLY.

Hippy birday, 'merica.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

you know the best way to celebrate? Scare the literal poop out of a cat with LOUD NOISES. I have been following the cat around with a Little Green Clean Machine thinking of ever-worsening revenge scenarios for the neighborhood punks. Wait, were we talking about cakes?

I need a drink.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Thank you! Now I'm not the only person making MuppetVision 3D jokes today!

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Can't...stop...laughing!!! The fuzzy purple grill!! OMG!! Are you SURE that's a hot dog?!

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P.

I'm just glad I was told that was a grill because I didn't have a clue! Didn't recognize the eagle either. LOL

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLeesa

4th July of....what?? Why is the 4th July more important than the 5th July?

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Why has no one pointed out the dildo on the one with the purple boarder?? It has veins and everything...

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Yusss my favorite Muppets line!
Yay for working retail on the 4th with a migraine and also dealing with my dogs being freaked out by the fireworks. >_<

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Wow, you're really bringing out the big guns on on that combination poop AND dong cake. Who knew the fourth needed both! Then again it does have something for everyone - for those who think America's going down the proverbial crapper and those who are perhaps slightly overcompensating with their fervent patriotism. *ahem* Of course everyone else gets to be the ocean they're both floating on.... Metaphorical perfection right there.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

@SuBee I salute you loved it. Made me laugh even while exhausted from late night keeping dog calm with all the illegal fireworks neighbors are shooting off my fellow firefighters and police officers are going crazy
tonight my turn to chase them down and put out the fires

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookie

John: "I've quit better jobs than this.

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThisPerson

I really have to remember not to read Cake Wrecks while eatting or drinking...a snort/cough/spit fest always happens!
Great job, Jen, John (thoj), and SuBee!

Happy 4th, Everyone!

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCG

I literally just watched that movie! ;D

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterC.C

Wow, a poo wang sausage on an actual poo grill! I'm so excited, I could just... JUNGLE BOOGIE!

(By the way, what actually IS in a Mai Tai???)

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Grilled poo and dong? As you wish...

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

For a minute there I thought Ed McMahon was writing the story line for today. Happy July 4th of to you and yours!

July 4, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Well that grilled poop with a scary looking hot dog would definitely help get me on a diet right quick lol. Yuck I am shocked they don't see what they are doing. Or they do know and love the reactions they get lol.

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

"Go America is your birthday"?

Is that like "What's the frequency Kenneth is your Benzedrine"?

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFuzy2K

I really love this blog, Its great to find not absolutely everyone is just posting a ton of rubbish these days!

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercakes in indore

SuBee, I salute you!

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

+1 for ghostbusters reference.

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRyan Blakeslee

Can't. Unsee. Pink Caterpillar and Berliner. Being. Grilled. Over. Turds...

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Proud to say I got that Muppets reference :-)

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJake

I think I laughed more at the parenthetical conversation at the end than at the cakes this time. :)

July 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

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