My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Birch, Please.



John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.


Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.


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Reader Comments (40)

What with the dead deer on the wall, I seriously thought that was a dead deer, head down, in the cake. A deer that had been dead a while and, you know, had started to turn. YUM! Dig in, everyone!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Now I must know, was there an actual 2 liter bottle in that cake?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBF

????? Are those jars of illicit moonshine or wasp traps hanging under the "arms" of that thing?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Are those...jelly beans?

What really sells it is the juxtaposition of the animal head and the thermostat. Great positioning, photographer.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I'm snorting with you Jen! SuBee? I'll start one this time:

I thought that I would never see
A cake impaled with a dead tree

A tree that looks like a dead cow
with two stiff limbs and flowers, wow

A cake that makes Jen laugh and snort
This baker should be brought to court

For traumatizing all that see,
That cake is clearly not a tree

Chum, I mean Chime in SuBee (see what I did there, referring to yesterdays post) I crack myself up. Wait, no that's not right, it's... I'm already cracked up, yeah that's what I meant.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I don't get the bottles... either on the "tree" OR the "cow"....especially the cow.... ROTFLMAO! You guys! Where do you find them??????????????????

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Aaahh - weddings in the North Woods. It's a special kind of romance :)

Although a fondant shotgun leaning up against the cow body, er, birch tree would have really completed the picture :)

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

What on earth... to me I thought it was the other end of the deer, the one that's hanging right above the cake.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Upon noticing the dead deer on the wall, and admiring the fact that the deer is kept warm by a cozy plaid scarf, I feel that this is exactly the cake the happy couple asked for and they were probably thrilled to receive it. Congratulations C and N. I raise my beer can and salute you!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ok. I'll grant it's a tree, I guess. And even that those colorful bits are its leaves, but what's with the bottles? Collecting birch sap?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

If you can't make spontaneous movie quotes, what can ya do?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMisti

I don''s just..I....huh?! WHY???

When I first saw this I thought it was a weirdly decorated old-fashioned soda water dispenser -- not a "cake." Then when I got to your comments I snortlaughed!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

"Birch, please." Isn't that what the tree doctor says when he's giving the tree a root anal *OOPS* I mean "CANAL"!! Yikes....=^-.-^=

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Cow in a "feminine hygene" commercial. Just sayin'.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

First thought: Why the hell is that chopped of animalhead on the wall wearing a scarf?
Second thought: Who put that bottle in a white dress... oh wait that is supposed to be the cake.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEquza

The bottles are supposed to be Mason jar lights folks hang on trees sometimes for parties in the country.

No I didn't make cake and wonder how many birches - or honestly trees - this cake maker has seen.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Cookiemama, I raise my branches and salute you!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm so glad they have the tulle decorating the table, that REALLY classes up that cake. Yep, total class.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I'm wondering the if jars are supposed to be holding fireflies?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

I think there is actually a third "branch" that comes off the back. Unfortunately, that makes it look like it's two legs and an oddly thick tail. Any which way, it's hilarious and horrifying all at the same time. :)

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

No no no! It's the elusive celebratory aardvark bovine!!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

I showed it to my husband and said "it's a cake" and he said "if you say so" exactly

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNanny

I can see how they would think that was a birch tree.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I think this was the image they were trying to capture with their cake:

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Omg I giggle snorted 😂

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

The scarf on the deer head didn't even faze me. I guess I've seen Country Bear Jamboree one too many times to think that's unusual.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I have never though "you know what I want on my wedding cake? Those little Betty Crocker leaf shaped confetti sprinkles that come in a shake can." Who knew that that's exactly what this cake called for? Because birch trees are known for their beautiful red, yellow, and green leaves. Now, if only the wreckorator had shaken on a few more, maybe the branches wouldn't have looked so bovine.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

I just wondered why there was a giant papier mache cake topper, clearly based on a large soda bottle, on top of a little bitty cake.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

Surely you mean "all Barq's and no bite". Lol. (Barq's is a brand of root beer soda for those who haven't come across it)

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErin

@SuBee, thank you. I learned from you, the Master. Or is it Mistress for a lady? Mastress? No that makes it sound like you're name should be SERTA. Either way, I take the pebble from your hand Sensei. That just dated myself didn't it.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I think it looks suspiciously like the XL bottle of wine I like...

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Well, it must be a "tree" since no one carves their initials into a cow or deer (I hope). But why only two stubby branches and no foliage? Did that deer suddenly come alive and eat the top of the tree? I guess we'll never know.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

If he is your density, who is your mass? and what is your volume?

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoopydoopers

My first thought was cat stuck head first in a tire.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJT

What type of tree grows that way? Besides one made by a drunk baker.......

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle



June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Jen that title just made me laugh snort so hard! Love it.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

that is just wrong on so many levels!!!

June 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

This looks like some kind of mutant animal is trying to drown itself in the cake. I would love to know the idea behind this cake lol

July 1, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

that's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship. (BTTF 2 reference)

July 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

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