My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Hiya, CHUM (Cake Wrecks "Celebrates" Shark Week)

[pacing] Here's the thing, minions:

I don't like sharks.




Why not? Well, they're all cold-blooded - all of them! - and they like, LIVE at the beach, and then there's always gross stuff in their teeth you have to PRETEND you don't see and it just gets awkward, you know?

"Sorry, but you've got a... seal? I think?... yeah, right there. No, you missed it. Still there. Nuh-uh. Look, can I get you a toothpick? Or a splintered oar?"


I mean, sure, it sounds fun to stock the moat of your futuristic evil lair with sharks with friggin' laser beams on their heads, but here's another thing you may not know: sometimes sharks look at each other. Can we talk about the mess? Because OH MY GOSH THE MESS.

And put that bowl down, Francois, because I told you I don't like shark fin soup, and if that shows up again at dinner there WILL be heck to pay.


Ahem. So. Minions. I'm told this week is "Shark Week," and that we're supposed to "celebrate" somehow. Well let me ask you, how does someone who hates sharks celebrate Shark Week?

Because I think they do it... like this:


Lookit the little weeny shark, all scared and silly looking!


Ah, but wait, minions, because I have a REAL treat coming out next. Francois?

[whipping off white sheet]


Huh. I guess that's all that was left after the lasers.

But hey, dig in!


Thanks to Leslie W., Jodee R., Trudy B., Viktoria P., & Nikki V. for being the best minions to ever minion... today.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Birch, Please. | Main | Happy Birthday Happy Birthday »

Reader Comments (31)

Today's post exhibits the general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

You're gonna need a bigger garbage can. =^-.-^=

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Great cup cake cake!

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHappy

I totally said "Candygram" in the SNL voice and "friggin laser beams" in Dr. Evil's voice! LOL

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Have you not seen SyFy's oerve of fine cinematic masterpieces, Jen? That last one is CLEARLY... CLEARLY... A Sharktopus!

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The first one is a happy narwhal I think. And the last one may just be the worst CCC I have ever seen on this blog. If that thing is a shark, I'm a supermodel.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJuliee

So these are sharks, eh? I see 1 shark out of the bunch, the kind of happy looking guy with the blue and white mohawk (or maybe that's his/her granny shawl? It can get chilly during Shark Week.) It would take some serious chemical enhancement to see a shark represented on the other cakes. First one looks like a blue poo emoji (in double parenthesis) and that last one- maybe a newspaper photo of a shark left out in the rain? And why baked goods to "celebrate" Shark Week? Sushi or fish-and-chips seem more appropriate. And totally free of decorating failure!

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Those cakes are so bad Jaws would hurl D:

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Jaws are wedged; not a
seal but my other flipper.
Curse those laser beams.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChiaroScuro

I think the last one is actually one of those really ugly fish that live way down in the deepest depths of the ocean and have little light bulbs attached to stalks on their heads, but since there's no Really Ugly Fish That Live Way Down In the Deepest Depths of the Ocean and Have Little Light Bulbs Attached to Stalks on Their Heads Week, I guess it's okay.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The 3rd one made me think of 'Sharknado' - what a cinematic masterpiece that was!

"We can't just wait here for sharks to rain down on us."

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

SuBee? Are you here my friend and best parody song writer? How about something to the tune of that classic kiddie song "Three Little Fishies". Maybe the chorus could be something along the lines of "Boop Boop diten datem watem choo and then something about the wrecks wanna make us spew?: Even if you get this message after you've submitted, I know whatever you come up with will be terrific! JEN?? Awesome post as usual.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

What is #3 supposed to be? WHAT??? My brain hurts.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

OMG that CCC (patooie!)

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Cookiemama, don't you see? The power lies within you. You, YOU, can write this song and it will be great. I'll write the first verse, then you take the second. I promise it will be the most amazing shark cake related tune based on a kid's camp song ever. Here goes:
Down at the bakery known
For cakes made of poo
Sat four shark cakies
And a lantern fish cake too
“Here.” said the baker
“Buy these cakes if you can.”
But no one ever did ‘cause they
Aint worth a damn

Boop boop eat a shark cake, or try two
Boop boop no! those cakes will make you spew
Boop boop least the cake’s not made of poo,
So they sat it the case
‘Cause they aint worth a damn

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I am so undeniably giddy I made Cake Wrecks! Found that gem in Walmart in Mt Pleasant, PA, couldn't figure out what it was. The CCC flower that was on the shelf below was so much better! :D

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNikki V.

Shopgirls share shocking, shapeless, shabby, sharks. Such shameful shenanigans!!!! SHOWOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

This needs a song.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTheherdmom

Anyone else look at the first cake and see a dog's butt with a face on it?

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

And there I was, worried there'd be a lot of padding in a post about Shark Week.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMillieP

Shark #1 looks like it has braces and isn't scary at all but #3 looks like the baker dropped the cake and then hastily put it all back together.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

SuBee, here goes:
Back at the bakery with
Cookie and Sue
they said "we can bake a cake much
better then you!"
They grabbed the baker and his cakes
made of poo
and on the count of three over the
damn he flew!
Boop boop lets try our cakes
take a bite or two
They look really good and
tasted great too
Boop boop, who makes great cakes
each said "WE DO"
Chuck the cakes in the case that weren't worth a damn

Sorry this is so late, I tried. Didn't see your post until now, was busy baking cookies actually, LOL. And I nope, not one of them looked like POO! I think we did pretty good, though your part was better :)
Rogers and Hammerstein look out, here come SuBee and Cookiemama! Thank you my friend!

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Lol oh my gosh I think I terrified the neighbors with hysterical laughter. Oh how I needed that :D Thanks!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I think the last cake was supposed to be the Stark direwolf in Game of Thrones. Or maybe it's mutant...

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAspasia

I think the 2nd one is a fair representation of the rare Sleeper Sharkflounder, Somniosus dentatus

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

You people are so negative...

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHappy

Yes, a dire wolf. Or at least it looks more like a dire wolf than a shark.

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLJ

You go, SuBee and Cookiemama!

June 29, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home


June 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentergothchiq

Rotate cake 2 and all becomes clear: It's the one-eyed ghost of Donald Trump! He's come from the future, to warn us of the dangers of winking.

July 17, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOLUT

Woo! Cool!

February 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterXena

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>