My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, Happy Birthday song!

You know what's coming next.

[loudly and off key]

♫ Haaaaaappy... ♪







Well, you get the idea.

('Butthday' is my favorite.)




Thanks to Lisa M., Kelsey D., Jason M., Stacie H., Melanie W., Whitney K., Ruth C., Rachel V., Jill, Dena, Carrie K., Tina W., & Rachel M., who I bet all agree with me that the birthday song is the worst. Along with anything else you're forced to sing at fellow adults in restaurants. And don't get me started on those funny paper hats. Have I mentioned I'm an introvert? DON'T SING TO ME. But leave the cake. And a fork. No, I'm not sharing. WHAT.


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Reader Comments (31)

Don't forget to cross your L's and dot your Y's.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

It never occurred to me that my aversion to the birthday song was connected to introversion, but it makes sense. I neither want to sing it, nor have it sung to me. I don't know if it's nationwide, but here we have Texas Roadhouse restaurants, where the loudest waitperson yells at the whole restaurant to screech "Yeehaw" at the birthday celebrant. And everyone does. So there is a way to make the birthday song worse--have 100 people shout "Yeehaw" as loud as they can before it starts. Makes me want to rip my own ears off and shove them down the throat of the waitperson.

Not that I'm bitter.

I need cake.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I am now questioning my ability to spell this greeting.

That last one would be perfect for that special person in the office. . .

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

The decorators responsible for Butthday and Pain in the ass should merge businesses. They'd make a killing in the niche market for ironic and passive aggressive cakes.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

Tomorrow is my actual birthday. Hopefully my mom's cupcakes turn out more correct!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

While Butthday is special, I really like the Birertey one best, myself!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I prefer: This is your birthday song! It isn't very long! Hey!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

I'm an introvert, too. I'm so introverted, I get out of bed by crawling out from under it. I don't even really read this, I have a ghost reader, and a ghost commenter...she reports to me if there's something I might like. And, apparently, I like this place. Oh, and ghost readers try not to use bold type-it's too loud.
Now, on the bright side: LOOK at these things!! Not a "Happy Bidet" in the bunch! =^-.-^=

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

At our local Mexican restaurant, the waitstaff brings a sombrero for the birthday boy or girl to wear, then sings happy birthday in Spanish, with many aye-yi-yis, and then while singing, smears whipped cream on the face of the birthday boy or girl. It's quite the sight to see.

Also: I NEVER have my birthday dinner there.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

@Allison, you read my mind. At one of our local restaurants, they make you wear the birthday sombrero while they sing, which is totall obnoxious. Which is why I made my son wear it when we went there for his 21st birthday. (He is a complete and total extrovert. Protested, but then took selfie and tweeted it before they finished the song.)

But after the sombrero and singing, they offer you either free fried ice cream or a shot of tequila for your birthday. Totally worth it!

And yes, Butthday it my favorite, too.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Oh, COME ON!!! Birthday is NOT a rare or unusual word. Every human, yea, every living creature has one at the moment of birth. Friends and family say it repeatedly in the weeks leading up to "Baby's First Birthday". And though birthdays are celebrated every year until death, you never DON'T have a birthday. There is ALWAYS a date of birth known as your birth-day. This ignorance of spelling among those holding the icing bag with the pointy tip must be corrected. What has this society become?
I kind of like the silly hats.
(Does anyone else double-check the spelling in a post related to misspelled words? Just one more thing to worry about. Oy!)

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

@Candice Me too!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

As bad as the "Happy Birthday" song is, I hate the cutesy knockoffs that chain restaurants do even more.
My favorite, on the other hand is a frontier-style restaurant that just gives you three cheers in the old fashioned style: "hip-hip! Huzzah!" It's like ripping the bandaid off, the pain is over quickly.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWill

S. Marie- I definitely double check any time I'm posting about spellings. There's a collection of twitter fails going around on yahoo right now that contains one snarky post correcting someone else's post, and the correcting tweeter gets it totally wrong. And the world piled on. Thank goodness there are still people with standards.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin

In fairness to the first wreckerator, "Hippo Birdy Two Ewes" IS a thing.

Okay, the voices say I'm really reaching again...

Never mind...

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I give my family strict instructions NOT to mention to any staff at the restaurant it's my buttday. but one time years ago, at a steak house, they told them. The staff proceeded to arrive at my table with a HUGE PIECE OF CAKE and a candle it and asked me if I wanted them to sing it regular or backwards. Hmmm, I thought okay I want to hear it backwards so I smiled and said "Sing it backwards please!" They staff of 8 people promptly turned around, and with backs and butts to me, sang Happy Birthday. Now THAT would be the perfect way to celebrate Buttday, right!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I'm an introvert and I don't mind people singing "Happy birthday" to me. It's the non-stop, enforced socializing the entire damn day that gets ME down.

I actually celebrate my birthday on the day before or the day after, on whichever one they leave me to myself, tyvm.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

What a hilarious post just for my birthday!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterbirthday girl

Speaking of the birthday song, I have this "fun" story that happened recently.

My boyfriend is an introvert, like me, and we recently celebrated his birthday with his family, who are not introverts. We did presents, went out for dinner, it all seemed basically okay. Then we stop at the gas station on the way home, and his mom off-handedly mentions that it's his birthday today. So the lady at the register calls over her co-worker and gets the attention of everyone in the gas station, and makes them all sing to him. It was so awkward. And a great example of how extroverts just really don't understand.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLupisReapyr

Okay. I am a paper crafter and I make my own cards. I have some really cute bird stamps, and when I use them I stamp "Happy Bird-day" instead of birthday as a quote quote. I have also been known to stamp a hippo and use "Hippo Birthday" too. Some of these make me wonder though!

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

Whenever my family tries to sing "Happy Birthday" to someone it ends up sounding like a funeral dirge. No sense of rhythm or timing, and we're all rather tone-deaf.

A bit depressing, really.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

I took a friend to Macaroni Grill for her birthday, and told the staff out of her hearing that it was her birthday and could they do something, and so they did: They came over, sang her happy birthday, and then presented her with a plate of whipped cream with a candle in it! No cake, nothing else, just whipped cream! Frankly, I'd rather get a Happy Butthday cake, although I'd prefer none at all at this point; you can just pretend I don't have birthdays any more, 'mkay?

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

For my father's 90th birthday in 2008, we ordered a cake from a very prominent cake bakery in the greater Boston area. The charge was well over a hundred dollars. It was delivered with a sugar plaque that said Happy 90th Birtday. We were stunned as this place must write Happy Birthday over a hundred times a day! We immediately called and were told that they were rushing right over with a new plaque. Nope. Never happened. So all of the photographs featured the Happy Birtday plaque. In their defense, for the next several years, any time that my sister ordered a cake, they either comped it or gave her a discount.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterC F Bell

It's amusing to see this post after coming back from a birthday dinner for my dad. My mom let it slip that it was his birthday; my dad then made a fuss over *not* having the waitstaff sing to him. The waiter obliged, but ended up writing "Happy Birthday!" on the back of the receipt. Nice. And spelled correctly.

...All this to say I'm REALLY glad we didn't celebrate his "butthday." Which just got spell-checked as "buttery." Either way, we no longer buy cakes with writing on them.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterI Love the '80s

You sure that's not "buttholay"? I quite like the Happy Brilestoy message above it, too.

June 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Maybe buttday was for someone's proctologist lol. Wouldn't surprise me anymore what and how wreckerators are wrecking cakes. Though buttday did make me laugh hysterically.

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

This was a Perfect post since yesterday was my Youngest child's birthday! He also HATES having people sing to him but he likes a certain Steakhouse already mentioned here. We skipped the singing and showed him this post instead! It was perfect until he asked for pie instead of cake! (Sacrilege!!!)
We also celebrate a Happy Buttday-- It is every year that my dad has remained cancer free! (The day he lost his)

June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterbelovedbyHim

"Happy, Happy Birthday!
From Munchie Hut to yooo!
Happy Happy Birthday!
We hope it's really goood!
We cannot sing that other song,
It's copyrighted for so long,
So please accept our substitute,
And forego the trauma lawsuit!"


June 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Trust me the 'pain in the ass' one would be what one of my parents would get me. On a side note butthday lol what about HUMPDAY!!

July 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

AT Montana's, a chain restaurant in Canada, you have to wear the "Buffalo Hat." Think Fred Flintstone and the loyal order of water buffalo. No matter how many Caesars you have ingested, it's still cringeworthy

September 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

My brother's name is Zack and his fiancée's name is Kelsey, so I sent them this to tell them that I got them an engagement cake...

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkbrooke

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