My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I've Got Some Good News, And I've Got Some BAD News...

The good news is it's your birthday, and you get cake!


The plan was considered a success, until Dylan's parents remembered the four-year-old still hadn't learned to read.


Thanks to Anony M. for putting every horrible birthday ever into perspective.


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Reader Comments (29)

And, what exactly WAS the plan; traumatize the child and turn his birthday into a tragic remembrance of a beloved pet's death? (Good! Now we'll never have to throw him any more parties as long as he lives! think of the money and trouble it will save us.)

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Am I just being dense, or did these parents give their 4 year old a birthday cake that is also in memory of their dog who died?? Who DOES that? Please tell me I'm misunderstanding.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

What...why...?!?!?!?!??! O_o

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Dylan's crying over his beloved Peanut, only to hear his friends say "I want Peanut's nose!" "I want Peanut's ear!" "Can I have Peanut's eyes?"
Poor Dylan.
But hey! At least it's not a "Vladimir Lenin" cake of Peanut, right?! *shudder*

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I wonder if they asked the kid what he wanted on his cake and he mentioned his recently deceased doggie?

Poor Peanut. First you're dead and now we're gonna eat your face.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I think this goes into the top ten list of "Bad Parental Choices". Yeeesh.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Wow, what did this kid do to his parents to deserve this? Cruel! I'll admit it... I Laughed!

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShay

What a weird ****ing cake! Happy Birthday AND RIP ? WTF ? Hilarious as always!

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Everything is spelled correctly. The picture is centered and the doggy footprints are cute. Leave off the RIP and it would be a nice cake.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZephyr Mac

today is my 52nd birthday, this made me laugh out loud and thank my lucky stars that my name's not peanut.
"anyone want a peanut?" ; )

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterterri

This makes me sad. Cake should make happy, not sad. (My mom would have said, "Oh! Someday you'll laugh at this." I hope, someday, Dylan laughs.) (But at least it's cake. Yay)

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I'm thinking that the little boy didn't get the concept of "really gone"; he was only 4! Not a huge amount of deep, conceptual thinking at that age. Some can even be almost "Eh!" about things. For all we know, the kid may have even ASKED for the dog to be on his cake. (I MEAN A PHOTO, guys!) Okay! FINAL guess: the DOG would would have been 4. HIS name was Dylan. "Peanut" was a nickname. HE didn't get any cake. This really bites.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Happy birthday, kid.
Peanut's sorry he's not here
He had other plans

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow. Some therapist is going to make a TON of money off that cake!

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

"You listen to me. You wanna give me a birthday present? I want you to bring me Peanut's head on a pillow."

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteralittlebitbent

Eeuuw, just Eeuuw!

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

Anyone remember the horrible old song from childhood called "Found A Peanut"? (Sung to the tune of "My Darlin' Clementine") The song would be a perfect substitute for "Happy Birthday" considering there is a photo of a dead dog on the cake.

Found a Peanut,
Found a Peanut,
Found a Peanut, just now.
Just now I found a Peanut,
Found a Peanut, just now.

Other verses include:
Cracked it open...
It was rotten...
Ate it anyway...
Got sick...
Then I died...
Went to heaven...

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I don't think it matters if the kid can read or not. That is just awful.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHolly D

Sometimes kids actually ask for stuff like this. I know a little boy who got obsessed with the Time Life books series on war machines. He wanted a Nazi tank--decorated with swastikas--on his fifth birthday cake. THAT was a parenting dilemma they don't cover in a What To Expect book.

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWell

Okay -- I can kinda get that Dylan might have asked for a picture of Peanut on his cake. (Kinda -- not sure I'm really buying into that...)

But what in the name of all that is holy would possess anyone to put RIP Peanut on a freaking birthday cake??

What is WRONG with you people?

June 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nimous

Was it a peanut butter cake with peanut butter frosting?

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Hopefully the baker just mashed up two cake orders-one "Happy Birthday Dylan" and one "RIP Peanut". Although that still leaves us with a doggy funeral cake...

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't get any cake. So I would be totally fine with this one.

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCairona

How can it be considered a wreck if the baker didn't do anything wrong? If you order a turd and get a perfectly formed turd, how is that different from a monster-themed wedding cake?

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChris Staffa

@ Sharon: The rest of the verses go...

Wouldn't have me...
Went to the other place...
Found a job there...
Roasting peanuts...

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Every time someone turns four, a dog dies, or at least one of you had to. It's the way things work. We had to put somebody to sleep, so we picked Peanut instead of you, Dylan. Aren't you glad?

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

Rest of the verses for "Found A Peanut"
Met St. Peter
Shook his head
shoveling coal
found a peanut
cracked it open
it was rotten
threw it away

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermary

Is it just me, or is the bottom line misspelled as R.I.R. Peanut?

June 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commentero_O

Oh man who does this? I hope the kid really can't read lol. I cannot figure out who would want to celebrate a birthday and the dog dying on the same cake?? Who does this?

June 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

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