My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Baby Bears All

Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples. 

You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like this.

Which just goes to show, well, everything except the nipples. But also that you should never make snap judgements on anything.

Take this cake, for example:


 At first glance, it's just a pink bear with a little black nose being shunned by three invisible, barefoot ghosts.

BUT, look closer, and you soon realize ...


Which explains why the ghosts are shunning him, if you think about it. After all, eating babies is never something you want to encourage - is it, bakers?

Of course, after a fifth or sixth glance you might start to think that isn't a bear at all, but rather a knitted pink snow suit with an unfortunate child stuck inside...being shunned by three invisible ghosts. Which makes SO much more sense for a baby shower. o.0

Right, I take it back: in this case, a snap judgement really IS the best option. It's a bear. And I like men who wear pasties. Because I'm a weirdo. A fun, fun weirdo.



Thanks to Joy O. for being weird with me. But not in a weird way.


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Reader Comments (28)

What a weird post today.

:-) :-)

I liked it!

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Done by a more skilled baker that could have been so cute....

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Save the tatas- buy some Bodyglide! :-)

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

That bear (baby?) has a bad case of the bloat. Is that what eating babies does to you?

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Does that poor child have encephalitis? A broken neck? Gastric trouble? I've never seen such a misshapen baby in my life! I don't think the ghosts are shunning her; they are guarding the poor soul.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Of course we could eat babies. We say all the time, I could eat you up!"

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

Jen, today's post just made me laugh and laugh! You made my day.

Before I got to the fact that there was a baby face in all that pink bear/sweater...ness, I was wondering why the bear had no ears. It is a deaf bear. This obviously caused it much rage, so he sucked in the baby, much like the baby was sucking its pacifier.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

GAAAGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only a very disturbed Wreckorater could come up with this weirded out.... cake.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

My girls had a little bunny bunting that looked very much like that, only, of course, as a bunny. And that cake would be much harder to eat if it were realistic. The real-looking baby cakes creep me out....

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStephanieJ

Now, now, let's not judge. The basic normal-type Bearbaby is obviously concentrating on drawing enough energy to evolve into a stage 1 Goldilockses.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Oh, this reminds me of that fun party game we used to play!! It goes: "If you were being swallowed alive by a GIANT SOMETHING, what would YOUR "something" BE?" (Well, I thought it would be fun, but it always put everyone to sleep.) Maybe Sam the Eagle could be dubbed to say, "LET THEM EAT WRECKS!" =^-.-^=

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns


May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

Those limbs look like pink ears of corn...

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaribel

My hubby's favorite quote when the sh*te is strong with this one, "You are all weirdos. . ." In that wonderfully deep offended tone of voice. BWAHAHAHAHA!

OH, and don't forget revenge of the fifth, cartoonist day, Cinco de Mayo and #tbt. Is that just too much to pin on the back of one poor unsuspecting day of the week?

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

The knitted texture looks pretty well done, and the baby face is recognizable. I think the only mistake the baker made was using too big a ball for the head. The footprints are nicely done, too.

Is the pacifier made of Life Savers?

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

I liked the Sam the Eagle video clip! Made my day so much better.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermarcie

Um, so I immediately saw an upside-down Snoopy head instead of the baby's face, and it wasn't until I read the commentary that I realized it was supposed to be something else. Not that Snoopy being eaten by a fluffy pink bear isn't any less disturbing, but it does add yet another layer to the wreckage...

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStriderGirl

It's a cross between the Easter Bunny suit and the little brothers snow suit in A Christmas Story!

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue W

I second the BodyGlide suggestion, it works like a charm.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

What will they do next......

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

When Cake Wrecks discusses the nipple
There is a strong chance of reaction by pipple
Who'll say "stop it at once!
We want to eat lunch,
But this topic drives us to tipple."

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I LOVE the Sam The Eagle bit! Anyway...they do sell anti-chafe stuff, as far as I know, it is like "chapstick" you can put on your nipples (or any other place that chafes) when you run...This comes from a friend that has run marathons.

May 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Oh that poor poor baby being eaten alive by the bear/snow suit. As for the feet maybe they are the feet of the ghosts of babies past that were stuck in the same thing lol.

May 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I know this isn't quite the right place for it, but remember the jelly pool cake that "offended half of Australia" when declared a wreck? Well our local online Oz newspaper has an article on the cake and book it came from today for you to enjoy:

I told you it's a much loved culturally significant cake :)

May 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSquishi

I LOVE Sam the Eagle! Have you seen him on the rebooted Muppets television show? His unrequited love of Janice is wonderful. See this:

May 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Oh my God, you killed Kenny.
You bearstard.

(Sorry, that's what it reminded me of once Jen pointed out it was a baby not a bear, if you can imagine it in orange instead of pink.)

May 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLucy J.

Oh, heavens! I have a copy of that Australian cake book. I don't know why they called the duck cake "controversial". The only thing controversial about it was my language when the blasted potato chips kept breaking when I tried to stick them on the cake. I finally glued them in place with a red icing tongue!

May 6, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

If John is having difficulty with chafing, may I suggest checking your local culinary specialty store for a solution? I hear they make a cooking accessory specifically for this.

May 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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