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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
May302016

These United American States - See? STILL WORKS

Today we Americans remember the men and women who gave their all for our country's protection, prosperity, and liberty.

Including the liberty to do this:

o.0

 

And this:

>.<

 

And, unfortunately, even this:

Yeppers.

God bless the UAS.

 

Thanks to Stephanie, Anony M., & Nichol C., who are all proud to be Americans - but maybe just a teensy bit less after seeing those donuts.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (30)

What the heck is that first thing? It looks like the back-side of a camel draped in a cheap flag beach towel.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I love and respect our service members, but I think too many people are not being taught to respect our service members or first responders anymore :'( too many people make heroes out of thugs.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

It's good to know the worst or just ok crem wasn't used on the second one. No matter how it's spelled, it's great to be in the UAS. Because America doesn't imprison bakers who mess with our flag. Good for these guys.
Remember those we've lost and appreciate what we have.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

What's wrong? It's just the flag -- sure are some big stars -- draped on the Liberty Cone.

Let's just go white-red-white-red-white, toss a tricolor mix of stars on the blue part, and call it a day. It'll be fine, right?

Those cupcakes are clearly in honor of the Uruguayan American School.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Because nothing says Murica like a giant veiny dong draped in the ol Stars n Bars.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

I’m proud to be an American by Lee Glazewood or some other 'Merican baker.

If tomorrow all the wrecks were gone,
I’d looked at all my life.
And I had to start again,
With just a poundcake and a knife.

I’d miss the sloppy stars
And stripes the wreckers here display.
‘Cause a wreck still stands for talent,
That got lost along the way.

And I’m proud that I’m not a large brown mass,
That’s been covered with our flag.
‘Cause it’s color makes my stomach turn
I think I'm gonna gag

And I gladly sit down,
On that lump and squish it with my ass.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I these wrecks,
God bless the UAS…

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Well, at least a bit of effort went into the first one. I have to wonder if the person who decorated the second one has ever SEEN an American flag. Those donuts? United American States? Hmm.

I'm reminded of an old Jay Leno "Jay Walking" episode where he asked people questions about America. "How many stripes are on the flag?"
"Thirty-six?"
"What's our national bird?"
"The sparrow?"

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here!

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Shirley - it's supposed to be a bell draped in the flag...

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

Not getting what's wrong with last cake. It doesn't read indecent and is designed and decorated well.

If it was supposed to be a flag or said it's one - I get it.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

UAS = United American States -- it still makes sense! :)

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

OMG, SuBee! LMAO!!! I honestly hate that song with a passion, but your parody is nothing short of perfection (unlike that first cake).

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJules

It takes a Dark Wizard indeed to transform the Liberty Bell into Salazar Slytherin's codpiece. Presumably the Basilisk chomped the flag?

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

@Suebee bwahahaha

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

This has been bothering me all day, keeps orbiting around my brain and threatening my sanity. To banish this crazy-making, I took another look at the first one. I thought it might be for those who served in Irag/ Afghanistan; the flag draped over a sand dune maybe? And then-OMG!-it's supposed to be the Liberty Bell. If the Bell was made of melted khaki!
This does nothing to change the wreck but now I don't have to think about it.:)

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Okay, I have HAS it!...(climbs up on table, after kicking all the empty-or-not) coffee cups off)...Now, listen up! We need better wreckorators! These things are an abom...er, an ablom...uhhh..a bomb-yeah!That's IT! A bomb in our nation! No, that's worse!!!....darn, I give up. Can anyone spell "abomination", please...=^-.-^=

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Okay - UAS makes soooo much more sense than VAS - I was worried there, for a minute.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Because we HAVE liberty, it doesn't necessarily mean we should TAKE liberties...

I hope everyone is having a great (U.S.) Memorial Day. How many other countries have a Memorial Day? (Just curious; I am a typically educated 'Murican, which means I know jack about other countries unless I ask...)

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

I never knew the Liberty Cone had a tail ...

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterzeph

My daughter knew it was The Liberty Bell as soon as I showed it to her.
She starts therapy tomorrow.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Anyone reading my previous post - sorry. Apparently the computer on my phone did an April fools joke in May and put a Sunday Sweets in place of the UAS disaster.


(Editor's note- HA! Really?! That's kinda awesome. I wonder if it was a fluke or our server is wonky today. Anyway, thanks for the heads up! -john (the hubby of Jen)]

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

In New Zealand and Australia we have ANZAC day, which is our day for remembering military personnel who died. Sadly, not with cake. It's more dawn services and ceremonies held at the various War Memorials.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNCatt

As I slowly scrolled down that first photo, I thought it was a flag draped over a soldier's boot. But, unless the boot was hit by lightning, I was wrong.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

It just dawned on me that the horrible cake with a half-bottle of star-shaped sprinkles on it is actually - gasp - a (ptui!) CCC. Talk about adding insult to injury.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

@SueBee - You nailed it!

And of course, Jen nails it every time. =-)

I love laughing at this site.

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Wow, sometimes I don't read the titles of these posts.... please ignore my earlier comment!

May 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Oh man that first cake/cone/whatchamacallit has me in tears of laughter lol. Oh man at least they tried with the flag. As for the UAS donuts oh man it isn't that hard to spell USA unless of course you are drunk and decorating in the dark.

May 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

JMixx - here in the UK we have Remembrance Day on 11 November to honour all those who have served, especially but not solely those who died. I gather the American Memorial Day dates from the American Civil War.
When you think what the UK flag is like, it's just as well that no one does cakes for Remembrance Day (though a pity in other ways, of course).

May 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I'm still seeing VAS rather than UAS. I think those doughnuts are for vasectomy patients in the recovery room. :)

May 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKris

@Kris: Well, botched acronym or celebration of minor surgery, we'd better figure it out! There's a vas' deferens between them!!

May 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Aw, I don't know how I missed this post. I love the Lumperty Bell and it's inpirational inscription, "Proclaim Lumpiness Throughout All the Land Unto All the Unspellers thereof."

June 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Beth

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