The Bakery At The End Of The Universe
May 25, 2016 [announcer voice]
Here at The Bakery At The End Of The Universe, we want our intergalactic guests to have a personal connection with their cakes. That's why all our sugary creations are given sentience before serving, so they can introduce themselves before dessert!
;)
"Huh?"
To begin your End Of The Universe experience, you'll be treated to the sweetest song and dance number this side of Betelgeuse - and our petit-fours almost always finish before crying and/or spitting up their last meals!
;)
Next, the parade of pastry, as each of our delectable kitchen creations tries to convince you to eat them first!
;)
They're so happy you're here!
;)
They can't wait to be picked!
;)
Those are tears of joy, promise!
;)
Once you've picked your lucky morsel, it will be whisked to the back for a quick, joyous farewell:
;)
....then painlessly chopped up and plated for your dining pleasure:
;)
MMMM.
Now that's sweet!
Yes, The Bakery At The End Of The Universe guarantees a dessert you'll remember for all your lifetimes. So come on by! Starships and Vogon liners welcome. Intergalactic AAA discounts available. Reservations recommended.
You monsters.
Thanks to Anony M., John D., Katherine R., Baillie L., Bailey D., Joy M., Rachel L., & Kevin F. for helping me celebrate Towel Day like a total hoopy frood. Now I'm off to eat a salad.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (44)
WTF was with the sprinkled gingerbread men? O_o
They are all so sad--not to mention depressing--even the gb men in their protective sprinkle-suits.
Vogon poetry
Or play let's meet the cake wreck...
Yep, I'd choose the first
Some of them look like they have also been subjected to Vogon poetry...
Pastries with feelings is probably the subject of the next Pixar movie.
No, thanks! As the Red Queen said to Alice, "it isn't etiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to!"
Yaaay Hitch hikers Guide to the Universe reference!! HAPPY TOWEL DAY!!! <3 <3 :-D
(yes it is)
Well I'll be happy to eat these. Any up to all of them. Yum!
WONDERFUL!
I have lurked here for years and never commented, but I just had to fall down at Jen's feet for the HHGTG references. I didn't realise Miliways has a Cakewrecks dessert trolley. The only thing that would have made it better would be a contribution from Marvin :D :D
Goodbye and thanks for all the cakes.
If you've already eaten six impossible cakes this morning....
Happy Towel Day!
(Blinkblink... Blink... Blinkblinkblink...) I got nuthin'...
***wandering away with a towel over my head***
Happy Towel Day! (But now I'm always going to wonder if my cake felt any pain as I continue to eat it anyway ...)
Pretty sure Restaurant at the End of the Universe is the best book in the series. Thank you for making my day. :)
Marvin would say, "Cake.
Don't talk to me about cake."
And shuffle away
In honor of Towel Day, Cake Wrecks
Posted photos of sweets without necks
These sad pastries shamed
Vogon poets were blamed
Soulless gingerbreads showed off their flecks
A green salad? *looks disapproving* I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly.
He he he, the green ones are probably supposed to be "Kajkage" which is a Danish pastry! But usually they look a lot better! ;)
Don't Panic!
The answer is 42.
That snowman looks a bit "cocky" about his chances of survival. Maybe he uses a different appendage to hitch a ride?
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
Yup
Glass of water, please.
(He says as he's already been told being drunk is unpleasant for them.)
brain the size of a planet and they make me watch wrecky cakes...I'll go and have a pangalactic gargleblaster now (and for the other geeks out there, I'll be wearing the lilac, too)
Thet last Gingerbread Man was crying. I can't say as I blame him.
I feel like the plethora of sprinkles on the gingerbread men is hiding some other evil......like nasty burnt edges.
How is it that people actually pay for these specimens? They must be in dire straights or else just need a quick sugar fix!
The gingermen's faces!!! Love it!
Happy Towel Day !
thanks for the appropriate celebratory cakes.
Um.......is it just me or is there a HUGE wang on that snowman :O
Desserts that are almost, but not quite entirely, unlike cakes.
Perfect with your Pangalacticgargleblaster. Did you know in the proper 70s tv version Trillions real husband who became the 5th Doctor played the animal ? their daughter grew up to marry the 10th Doctor.
ALRIGHT!!! Which one of you tarred and feathered the Gingerbread men again?????
The gingerbread men make me think of Kevin Nealon's head in Little Nicky...and the sad snowman has the Abominable Snow-Wang....
I know what those Gingerbread Men need ... MORE SPRINKLES!
Um, why do those gingerbread "men" have boobs on their faces??
The singing and dancing petit-fours are the cutest! I want to hug them and pet them and call them George, but probably not eat them. Ever.
Ah, this reminds me that I need to finish reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe. I've only just started the book. It was a beautiful copy I found at the thrift store. It looks like it was never read and it has silver edged pages. So sparkly!
Having a real "Marvin" type of day at work. Then I read the HHGTTG post and comments. *giggles hysterically*
Was I the only one humming "Be Our Guest" whilst reading this post?
I was?
Oh.
I'll go hide myself now.
See, I don't think it's a Snowman. I think it's a mattress that's flolloped his last flollop.
I <3 <3 <3 the green guys - vomit and all. They are soooooooo cute! The rest, however, can stay on their home planets.
So a few Thanksgivings ago I was talking with my 20-something hipster-ish nephew, who thinks I am far too old to know of, or ever had experience with, anything cool. So when I said something about a substance that was almost but not quite entirely unlike turkey, he just sat there and looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head. (Bah dum, dah!)
Oh that poor crying pig thing lol. These just make me wanna laugh and cry. Why the rainbow sprinkle suits on the gingerbread men? Scary.
Long time reader, first time commenter. A little late to this party, but love the Hitchhiker's reference! Thanks for making my day!
@ Saskia Davier-- Your limerick just made my day!
I'm pregnant and horny, and that snowman is doing it for me right now. Seriously o-O