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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Means CIVIL WAR

Rest assured, dear minions, I won't be spoiling the new Captain America movie for you... because I haven't seen it yet.

HOWEVER. I'm seeing evidence of the Avenger's newest conflict throughout our nation's bakeries, and believe me, it's not pretty.


In fact, I've been wondering why everyone seems to be Team Cap, but then I saw Iron Man literally punching out the sun:

Now that's just Stark raving.


And let's not forget the whole exploding crotch thing:

Nobody wants the exploding crotch feature on their team, Tony. NOBODY.


I assume this is a picture of the aftermath:

It's like his torso is made of break-dancing lobsters... and his crotch just fell off.
Which has gotta hurt.


Meanwhile, our boy Cap is as American as apple pie:

Though I still question putting icing on pie.


Plus, Rogers apparently comes with an enormous laptop now?

So that's handy.


And let's not forget how supportive Cap is around Hanukkah:

Such a nice boy.


Everyone's also buzzing about Spider-Man's role, but frankly, I'm a little suspicious:

Look what happens when he trips! 


So 'til John and I see the movie, I guess it'll just be Thor, Batman, and the rest of us turkeys:

Batman: "I'm Batman."
Turkeys: "Gobble?"
Me: "...yeah I'm going to the movie now."


Thanks to Makita, Kate P., Missy S., Melissa S., Corinne, Katie T., Kayt T., Suzanne S., & Jessica R. for keeping it civil.


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Reader Comments (29)

Oh my god, I need that punching-the-sun cupcake like burning (suns). Just because the sun looks so goofy and happy about the whole thing.

Derpy Spiderman is giving me the stupid-happies, too. HE looks like he had about as great a night as I did and has just given up and gone "Flomp." I empathize, Derp-Man. I really do.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShyLittleSquid

… So, the superheros have run out of evil geniuses to pommel, so they're picking on each other now? Gee, I guess you miss a lot when you stick to real life, and laughing at terrible cakes.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I somehow managed to slice my gums while flossing last night (I can't be the only one who has done this) and I'm stuck eating soft things... Cake is soft!

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Jen, omg, I spit coffee onto the keyboard with "Cap around Hanukkah, Such a nice boy!" I could here your Yiddish accent from here, LOL.
@Degera...I've done that as well. And as a medic, I can tell you CAKE is the perfect treatment therapy for all boo boos. Yes, boos boos is an accepted medical term, because I'm also a mom. LOL.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

Spider-Man reminds me of that Don't Make Me Adult meme. He just can't Spider-Man today.

Why is everyone on Captain America's team? Because Chris Evans. Rowr.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Movie is OK went to a midnight showing on release day, also one of my grandsons is called Thor.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Break-dancing lobsters just about made me snort tea out me nose! Thank you for that on a morning I really needed the laugh.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPoppyMandragora

4th cake : His crotch has not fell off. It crawled up to his stomach. Jen, seeing too many wrecks has strained your eyes.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

The GOOD part (for me) was the first thing I *heard*, upon seeing the very first "cake"--which was the part from the musical "Hair"--where everyone's running and singing "LET the sunshine..LET the sunshine in...the Suh-uhn shine iiiiN!!! The LAST cake, though...that's just lazy; the wreckorator was trying to cover Thanksgiving, back-to-school (possibly,with the fall leaves), and a whatever the other dude is, who looks like a 100th-generation Saturday Night Fever disco/discount dancer. (I think I left my sequined makeup bag in the ladies' room~gotta run!). =^~.~^=

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Second on break-dancing lobsters being hilarious. Truly that is comic genius at work.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterA. Non Ymous

I'm pretty sure "Exploding Crotch" is a +3 Disadvantage. I mean, that's even worse than "Always On".

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"enormous laptop.... that is handy" - extra funny for me because in German a cell phone is a "Handy".

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Hey, Cap is Jewish! That shield is just a giant yarmulke!


May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

I was disappointed by the lack of Ulysses S. Grant in that movie.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I'm Team Cap all the way, but maaaaaan did Stark get the more interesting cakes this time around. That punching out the sun one is so bad it's almost brilliant (har, har).

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Poor Spiderman lost both his hands and feet... I wonder how he still can produce those webs.

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSteffi

Jen, you said no spoilers! So why is Cap's shield lying in a puddle of a blood-like substance and Spidey is lying there, limbs trimmed like Anakin after the volcano?? OMG

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

TOTALLY cackling at my desk...........what?!

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Ummm...nothing wrong with icing on pie -- I say icing on EVERYthing is just fine...

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterQueenRae

Break dancing lobsters! Hahaha! Can't unsee that, and I HAVE NO REGRETS! My husband and I tried to see Civil War over the weekend and the very first show of the day was sold out! Who drags themselves to the theater at 10am on Mother's day to see a super hero film?! (Well, besides us.)

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJay

The next to last cake - I read this as "Wiiii", which is a sentiment with which I can relate. WHYYYY????

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

What do Batman, Thor and turkeys have in common? I'm so confused......

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

On cake no. 6, that's not a giant laptop, it's a Borg cube. You will be assimilated, bwaahahaha!

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTanj

Haha, I'm going to this movie today! :D

May 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKarsata

Did Spider-Man fall dead into the cake? He looks dead to me lol. Oh man do these make me want to run far far away.

May 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Breakdancing lobsters is gold. I keep scrolling up to give myself another giggle.

May 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDalek

I don't think that's icing on the pie; I think it's pie juice that has leaked up through the top crust.

May 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie P

Never have I seen a more accurate metaphor for getting a sinus head ache than Iron Man Punching Out the Sun. The sun (my stand in) is all happy and Iron Man AKA the sinus infection is like, "I can fix that for you!"

May 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

My 9 year old daughter had the best comment about the Grayson cake ever: "that's a pretty good Luke Skywalker, if that's what it's supposed to be."

May 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Powell

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