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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

How Bizarre

One of my high school teachers told us to always ask why with our writing.

Why does this character do what she does?
Why is this political issue so divisive?
Why are poop jokes so darn funny?

Well I may not have answers today, minions, but by golly, I'm going to ask the hard-hitting questions.







When you love fresh summer corn SO MUCH...'re compelled to eat a giant cookie covered in frosting.


Not since Lost have I so intently pondered the significance of a random set of numbers:

That smug "WOW!" is just sitting there, mocking me.
What am I missing?!
What does it meeeeeannnnn?


"So what does Larry like?"

"I dunno, he, um, wears suspenders?"

Or maybe Larry likes a pair of red spotlights pointed heavenward on the horizon of a moonlit ocean view.

'Cuz Larry is deep like that, you guys.


But no, really.



Thanks to Caroline P., Suzi B., Jess M., Rachel N., Rose D., Taylor C., Katy, & Jenn B., who I thought would never ask. Which, you know, is why I did.


P.S. -


Oh wait, I see a hot dog on the burger side.

Never mind.


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Reader Comments (56)

"Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything.
If you're a hamburger, you take it." - Burger X

It is clear that the first cake illustrates the danger of pillow fights at slumber parties, (it's all fun and games until Amanda B gets suffocated by Amanda N,) and the third commemorates the career of Dr. Osamu Hayaishi, the first physician to perform surgery with chopsticks. But please, someone tell me, what is happening on the second to last cake? Is it an homage to some TV show I know nothing about? A celebration of August (the 8th month) which is both Cosmetic Appreciation AND Fire Prevention month? What are those blue dots? Any explanation will be appreciated.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Larry's" birthday cake is obviously his favorite, rare "black pearl" martini being served by two very tall servers in black pants and red shirts, so tall, in fact, that they go right off the top of the cake!

Or, just maybe, it's the view from the floor looking up at the underside of a theatre seat of a wad of chewing gum stuck to the bottom of the seat.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDominic

So I sez to myself, "Self, these gingerbread cookies need SOMETHING." <<thinking>> "Eureka, I've got it! Demon-possessed worms." <<"decorating">> "Nailed it!"

I must know how a stabbed-in-the-head cookie is appropriate for someone turning 8. And how the black candles fit the stabby theme. I bet the wreckerator is infected with demon-possessed gingerbread worms to the brain.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Well, the first one is obviously a pillow fight, and the corn is a really excellently done cake. As for the rest - why, indeed? The Japanese cake looks vaguely obscene.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Okay, my head hurts trying to make any sense of these offerings, however the second to last one seems to be in honour of an 8 year old homicidal maniac child. I am glad I'm not acquainted with the family, and not invited to THAT party.
Other than that, I don't ask, "Why?", so much as, "W.T.F!! "

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

The first one seemed like a fine pillow fight. Other than that... Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why are there so many,
Cakes with weird meanings?
When will I understand?

That's as far as my "Rainbow Connection" tune can take me.

The stabby Ken doll cake does have me deeply confused, though.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

I'm just wondering if Big Bird and Elmo are driving by the phone number of the person who ordered a "wow, you are (insert age)" cake. We all know stranger things have happened.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJake & Me

I am *always* compelled to eat a giant cookie covered in frosting. Why? Because frosting tastes sweet, that's "why"!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Gingerbread cookies
For TAD! (Tape worms awareness day!)

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSenateur Dupont

Now we know what Michael Meyers' birthday cake looked like. Thanks for that disturbing image.
Shirley was right with the WTF.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

What are people celebrating with those cakes?????

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I looked at the random number cake and noticed the numbers came in pairs (two 7s, 9s, and 5s, but only one 8). Then I noticed the wayward 8 had made its way to the murdered handyman cake instead. The 8 can travel to alternate realms. The conspiracy is greater than we think! The 8s are joining the random murder party! Protect yourself!!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnna M

OHHH, he's being stabbed in the head! I thought someone was applying a subtle bronzing powder. Thanks.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Japanese cake (#3) and the Michael Myers/Halloween cake (#7) are both so weird !!! Certainly the wreckoraters were on drugs (NOT the good kind!) when the wrecking took place! All of these cakes seem vaguely out of place in the dimension I occupy! ROTFLMAO!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

There are 7 numbers on the "random numbers with Sesame St characters" cookie cake. I'm going to guess it's celebrating that a little kid has their phone number memorized (the numbers are the phone number) and they don't live in an area with 10 digit dialing. Why that merits a cake, I'm not sure. I would think knowing one's phone number to be its own reward.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

Why, indeed. The world will never know.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

The corn on the cookie cake is what finally made me stop buying Wilton catalogs. They would make truly random objects part of their cakes - indeed why the hell does a cake need to look like a Caesar salad? Or a picnic table? Or a bicycle pump? Or a can of soda? Why can't the cake be a cake?

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDooFis

I think I understand what's wrong. Pillow fight: fine. Pillow fight on top of a brain... uhhh...

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

It didn't even register that could be a number 8 on the "Ken being sacrificed to volcano gods for his indiscretions with Skipper" cake. I interpreted it as a crudely piped noose.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStormy

With tapeworms that large, those gingerbread men should be a lot thinner.

I thought the next cake was for an event at a body farm, but on closer inspection, it appears to represent the truly revolting fetish of eating sushi off a naked woman's body.

That said, I don't need much of a reason to happily eat a cookie covered with icing. Corn works for me!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I think that one is supposed to represent the weird and unsanitary fad of eating sushi off someone's naked body...

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLokispeaks

For the third one, I'm not asking why so much as what. WHAT is that supposed to be???

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

In that last cake, is that . . . a knife in the head?
And what is all over his pants?
And why oh why oh why?

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Rather than "why", I'm left asking "what the hell?"

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

Is the 5th one down a phone number?
Kind of like "Jenny 867-5309?"
Hey! Let's all call it and find out!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Why, you ask. Because...

1) The most innocent cake of the lot is simply the dessert at a slumber party.

2) These were ordered for the launch party for those "magic pet caterpillar" toys.

3) This is obviously depicting a Japanese luau with the cake doing double duty as both the celebrator and the mai tai.

4) I think you called this one, Jen.

5) This is clearly the baker's subtle way of giving his phone number to single mothers of young children. He just really wants to be a dad.

6) Larry is an undercover Sith lord, but wanted light sabers on his birthday cake. This is how they managed to disguise them to keep the Jedi off his trail.

7) You know that whole Mafia horsehead thing? This is the Caribbean Mafia's sweeter way to let someone know that a hex has been placed; note the black candles and arcane symbols.

8) That hot dog is obviously a rebel and willing to face the consequences of crossing the picket fence line.

Now you know!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

As my personal living hero would say, "Oh myyyy!"
#1 appears to be a party of 4 but Saylor coerced Saillor into making it a duo. Saillor is obviously holding Brighton as she's trussed up in a pretty pink 100% organic Fair Trade Egyption cotton blanket prior to...oh, it's a Lifetime movie if you want to know the ending.
#2 Cookies to celebrate Barely Dressed Co-joined Humans Day ( no offense meant to ANYONE who's experienced this.)
#3 Maybe a Timothy Leary influenced sushi pool table?
#4 Being from UpNorth, sweet corn a sure sign of Summer at it's peak; I get this!
#5-7 The meaning might not be revealed in our lifetime. I got nothin'.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I think the one above the corn cookie is a tribute, in cake, to eating sushi off a nude chick. (If the nude chick had no discernible anatomical features, and a skin tone like the contents of one of the vats in the back room at Madam Toussard's place...).

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

took me a while but then I saw it. a Sushi body cake.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

Is the 2nd to last one Mr. Bill from Saturday Night Live, only in black face? I can see an 8 yr old boy being a little obsessed with the whole tortuous way he was smashed every week.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy S.

I believe as distrubing as it looks - cake number three actually is a real event that occurs called Nyotaimori - in short the living sushi table - YES a real thing
I know it only from an episode of CSI:NY - lol

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Did I really just see a cake of a naked chick sushi bar? Did I?!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDevion

@SueBee: I think the mystery man could be my old friend from SNL, Mr.Bill (Ooh, NOooooo...!"). I did a background check, looking at the clues: Yellow hair? Check. Pink face? Check. Red shirt, blue pants,white belt, and buttons? Check. Getting bashed, smashed, gashed, and trashed (week after week,too! What a trouper..! I thought he'd retired. ..Lookin' good, Mr.B! ) Oh-check! =^-.-^=

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

#3 is a depiction of nyotaimori, the Japanese custom of eating sushi/sashimi served on a nude body. I didn't believe it when I first learned about it, but apparently it's a thing.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKilian Metcalf

I have only two words to describe what those gingerbread men are holding: Joker spunk. It's a scary concept.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDaniele

I think the second to last has to be a voodoo doll, the black candles, the needle pricks and I think that's supposed to be beads on a necklace or something.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRH

When I realized that those "worms" on the naked lady sushi cake were not worms but were probably actually shrimp, the cake became a little less disturbing. Not a lot less disturbing mind you, just a little less disturbing.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlmr

the last cake is Mr Bill from Saturday Night Live!
"oh no mr billllll!"
pretty much the only one I didn't ask why.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

The numbers on the Sesame Street cake aren't random, that was my childhood best friend's phone number. Wow indeed!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

The nyotaimori cake was exquisitely done. Creepy but full of craftsmanship.

I hope we will get around to discussing the Queen's (tipsy) 90th birthday cake, because I think it belongs here....

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

7957985 looked like a phone number to me, so I Googled it. If you add a 360 area code, it's the number of a truck towing and repair service in Kent, Washington. Who better to call when you've got a Wreck on your hands? "Wow!"

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBob

I am slightly terrified that the cake puzzling so many made almost perfect sense to me. It is a voodoo doll, with black candles and an orobouros for some odd reason.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Definitely Mr. Bill. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw it!

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Does anyone else think the gingerbread men could actually be mermaids with strange bra tops? Yeah, I didn't think anyone else saw that. Guess it's just me.

The tray of gingerbread persons is obviously in celebration of Intestinal Parasite Week! Happy Intestinal Parasite Week, everybody!...

Okay, I admit it, I got nothing.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Burning question - Why?
Knives, candles. smoke trails an '8'
as blond man juggles.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Sue

With the "random numbers, wow!" cake, my closest guess is that since there are seven numbers, it may be celebrating a kid finally learning his/her phone number. If it's not that, then I've got nothing.

April 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErin Yvette

You call yourself a Star Trek fan?! Those are joined Trill gingerbread cookies!!!!!!

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Lmao... oh man those gingerbread..women?men? whatevers look like the Joker decided to streak by them. Heck that's what my brain came up with and I am sticking to it lol.

April 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

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