My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Total Bust

(Warning: Vague naughtiness ahead. Also googly eyes.)


Last week Sue Moseley had her Instagram account disabled for posting this cake:

Well, according to Instagram:

"We disable accounts that post content that is sexually suggestive or contains nudity."

Translation? They thought her cake was boobs.


Now, I could maybe understand if Sue's cake looked like this:


Or this:


Or even this:


And I'd definitely understand if her cake looked like this:

Which, as you can see from John's oh-so-helpful censoring job*, totally looks like a bug-eyed Oompa Loompa at the beach.

(Why yes, I DID only include this one to share that visual. YOU'RE WELCOME.)


Of course we here at Cake Wrecks are no strangers to being banned from social networks for posting "suggestive" cakes, so allow me to offer the following advice:

Anything vaguely nipplish or boobish will get you banned because AMERICA, and we don't need that kind of obscene obscenity on our interwebz, so just steer clear.

....unless of course it's man boobs.

Those are cool.




Or, you know, don't.


Seriously, you can stop now.



Thanks to Jenn A., Ambular B., Sarah M., Krista M., Jessica L., Ashley B., Lisa C., & Jen S., who is not happy to see us, and after that, who could blame her?

*Note from john: I'm just glad I was able to save you all from seeing obscene obscenity. You're welcome.


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Reader Comments (41)

I think the censored Oompa Loompa looks like the cute red hairy monster from the Bugs Bunny cartoons, which NEVER needed to be censored.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

O...m...g cake should be enticing, not revolting

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

ALSO, Lindsay's mom and dad should get some sort of Parents of the Year Award AND
I feel the last cake illustrates the fact that every man would like to believe his penis should be presented to the world encased in a Faberge Egg which can be slowly opened as Tchaikovsky plays in the background gradually reaching a crescendo as the beautifully adorned receptacle finally displays the gift hidden within. And frilly man-panties.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is it just me, or does cake #7 look like the penis is upside-down??

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCali Kath

Oh my lord, SuBee. YOU are cleaning up this mess on my monitor! (I accept no blame for drinking coffee while reading this morning,even though it's Cake Wrecks and I should know better.)

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Not only does Cake Wrecks provides humor, it also keeps us abreast of today's issues....

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermel

Bwah! @SuBee beat me to it on the man panties comment, and your Faberge egg comment made me laugh even harder! I think they resemble man panties because the yellow "lace" is around the leg holes too, rather than framing the, er...codpiece area.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@SuBee: Your post about the egg is particularly perceptive today: Mr. Faberge's first name was Peter....

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermel

The "eyes" have it!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Is Lindsay going to get a new car for her birthday? 'Cause that looks like a set of car keys in the white briefs.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgs4vr

As an almost 50 year old, I am traumatized by the man bewbs cakes (specifically, the "packages" that accompany)

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermiss paper

Yeah, gee thanks, SuBee! Now I'm being assailed by various Tchaikovsky ear-worms and mental images of revolving Fabergé eggs revealing --- no! --- NOOOOOOoooo!!!! Get me some brain bleach!!!!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

Seriously, no snarky comments about the Happy 16th Lindsey cake, John and/or Jen? (Clearly that baker was dicking around.) Cause I'm pretty sure most people weren't concerned about the man boobs.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

@SuBee...GOSSIMER! that's the red hairy"innnnteresting monsters" name in the Bugs Bunny cartoon. Though it was never mentioned. I know, because that's my favorite episode, I could voice it word for word (I have no life) AND I have the Hallmark Christmas ornament of him with bugs bunny on his head, it's one of my faves on my tree. The Ornament designer shares the name with us. "Such an innnntersting monster needs an innnnteresting hairdo. Bobby Pins please". I have a Looney Tunes life! Thank you SuBee, I thought it looked like him too!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Hubby walks in an looks over my shoulder and asks "Is that supposed to be 'beefcake' on you cake site?" Oh the things we get banned for!!!!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterbelovedbyHim

I like the way the Oompa Loompa cake was made with the Wilton "Hunky Guy" pan - I think that's what it was called anyway. It does look like an orange dude with boobs! Happy Birthday Michael/Michelle!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I think Lindsey's cake looks a bit happy to see her. O-o

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

That "oompa loompa" cake, is that from an actual cake mold??
Now I have the urge to google "erotic cake molds" -- against my better judgement. Thanks Cake Wrecks! :)

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

instagram was really reaching, that simnel cake isn't even vaguely erotic.

..then again neither are any of the rest

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentertanya

SuBee the correct term is "Manties" and while I wish I were kidding - I am not. Google at your own peril.

Nope... Can't unsee any of these...

The voices say they're triggered again.


April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@ Subee: LOL on the imagery in my head, now! Love it--and you know what? I "heard" music, too....but what I remembered was the Bugs Bunny/ Elmer Fudd sweeping, epic opera presentation....YOU know: "Kill the wabbit---Kill the WAABBIT!" Yes, they made quite a pair...(*winkwink* @ mel's eggcellent funny!)=^~.~^=

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

John! you stopped censoring (enhancing/moderating/protecting US- your gentle readers) TOO SOON!

I also lurve, just lurve, Gossimer and his connies

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

What's HILARIOUS is that the banned cake is quite clearly Simnel cake; a traditional cake eaten on Easter Sunday!

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDuncan Stevenson-Price

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who raised an eyebrow at Lindsey's cake. And for a 16th birthday? *clutches pearls*

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

Well, given that my girlfriend once had her Photobucket account suspended because she posted pictures of our new ratty babies sitting on a blanket, and apparently they looked like penises (penii?) poking out, I believe it completely.
What I don't believe, even after all these years of following Cake Wrecks, is that anyone could bring themselves to put man-cake-nipple in their mouth, particularly the ones on the 'Happy 16th Lindsey' cake o_o ... clearly I never learn.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAniiksa

So, we haven't commented on the cake underneath the orange one yet. I think its nipples and bellybutton consist of some sort of fungus. It also looks more like a woman than a man, and I think what is supposed to pass for abs looks like an animal has scratched the sides of the cake.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

And what's with the thigh-nip on that last one? John (thoJ) did stop censoring too soon! don't know what we would have thought a googly eye in that spot would be hiding though...

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdbc

Does anyone know where the brain bleach is? Is it my imagination or do bakers really not know what the human anatomy looks like? Warning - if anyone is dating, married to, shacking up or mating with any "man" that looks like these things (I can't call them cakes) you need to rethink your options.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

EEEWWWW! Some of those cakes look like the "Situation!"

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNigel

@SuBee, that was epic. I'm laughing so hard people are staring.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

So, let me get this straight - in Murca, ladies' boobs look like toasted marshmallows. Is this a tanning thing?

And toasted-marshmallow human she-boobs on a cake are not okay, BUT lady bear camel toes are just fine?

And I thought only your football code was nuts...

Oh, yeah, looking at that second-last cake, Tarzan was first published in 1912, which makes him 104 - this cake is apparently an exact replica of him as he is today. Maybe time to trade the zebra hide loincloth for a snuggie.

April 11, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Oh thank you John. You have saved my poor mind from the obscene horrors that make these cakes so scary lol. Oh man my imagination scares me enough and now the cakes.. I need therapy lol.

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

@ SuBee -
OMG! PERFECT I can't stop laughing! Hilarious!


April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Can we talk about how gross it is to make what amounts to a wang cake for a 16 year old? EW.

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLorilei

John (thoj), you are our hero.

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmmay

And once again, SuBee wins the Internet.

And thank you, John. As a human being (complete with nipples!) I know my mind would never be the same after seeing nips. You have the thanks of a grateful nation.

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Gossamer! Oh, Gossamer! Put your sneakers on! Find the Instagram censor, and dispatch him immediately!

Censored toasted marshmallows make me very angry. Very angry indeed! Mm.

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarvin the Martian

Jen, I cannot even count the loud cackles that your posts prompted ... some kind of fabulously funny stuff (scary-ugly, but fabulously funny).

@ SuBee -- May I borrow your brain for just a little while--I could sure use some creativity. That was amazing!

April 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

*Cough Cough*

December 20, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Luna Louise

Bewbs, lol.

January 10, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLee Ann

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