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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

That's Like The OPPOSITE Of A Pot Of Gold

When CW reader Michelle ordered her 6-year-old daughter's birthday cake, she decided to stick with something classic: a rainbow. That's right, just a niiiice, simple rainbow, "with a cloud on either end."


As it turned out, though, Michelle's baker MAY have been a little hard of hearing.

Let's be honest: the clown heads aren't the problem here. It's the pile of poopy brown icing UNDER the clown heads, am I right?


Thanks to Michelle K. for proving sometimes it IS your circus, and your monkeys cloud clowns.


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Reader Comments (33)

I know we always blame the baker/decorator, but, perhaps, just maybe someone was suffering from a head cold when the request was made.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

But where are the clouds?
Send in the clouds
Well, maybe next year...

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Maybe the cake was supposed to be partly clowny with a chance of sprinkles. Or, she's looked at clowns from both sides now, and they are still disturbing. Of course we all know every clown has a sh*tty lining.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

The radiance from the rainbow shimmering on the simians illuminates what’s going on here: monkey shines....

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThe Phoenix

Okay fine; they used clowns instead of clouds. Somewhat understandable. But WHY would they use BROWN icing??

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Missed it by *that* much.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Does anybody make their own cakes for a kid's birthday anymore? For a 1.49 box of cake mix, a 1.99 can of frosting, a couple bucks for food coloring and a few sprinkles, add in a little plastic toy and you've got a perfectly edible cake that the kid will love and save so much money.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Jessica H, I always bake my kids' birthday cakes, without a mix. Home baking is not a lost art, although one might think so judging from the number of people hiring the services of wreckerators.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

I've always liked homemade cakes! (”Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven, and P********'s says it best!")....Whether they were *pretty* or not didn't matter, as long as they tasted good and were made with Mom-love ....((sigh))..... =^•.•^=

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Poo Clowns!!! Where was this descriptor when I was in an office 9 hours everyday!!? So many poo clowns. (I'm sorry about the cake, Michelle. If the essential purpose of a cake is happiness then this wreck is a success. Better?)

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I've always liked homemade cakes! (They may have been *made at home* from a mix , but ”Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven, and P********'s says it best!")....Whether they were *pretty* or not didn't matter, as long as they tasted good and were made with Mom-love ....((sigh))..... =^•.•^=

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

How does clouds translate to poop clowns?

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

Maybe Michelle had a really bad head cold (and felt like poop) when she placed the order? Michelle: Sniffle, sniffle...I waat a raidbow cake with clowns on eider end. AAAAAAH-CHOOOOO! Oh...I feel like poop! Cake decorator: I AIM TO PLEASE!

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I was all set to make a snarky comment; then I remembered when I really thought Mick Jagger was singing, "Hey! You! Get off of my clown!" and decided I'm in no place to judge. Wreck on, oh funny ones!

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSQX

the day the cloud cried

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAl

How do they breathe? :O

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Based on the FB post, and the way the preview pic is cut off there, I was expecting a whole lot worse, something extremely inappropriate for a 6-year-old's cake. Seeing poopy clowns was a relief.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterzarchasmpgmr

I'm sorry but the picture is so small on my phone that all I see are two angry spiders on either end. Is that better or worse?

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Clouds, clowns, clouds, clowns, clouds, clowns.....sounds about right...........

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSara R

But if no one hired wreckorators, we would live in a world without CW! Noooo! No Jen & John, no EPCOTs, no bunker, no Theardare, no snarky commentary, no comment board... (sob)

The problem piping looks greenish-brown on my screen, so my first take was the dreaded clown-cactus hybrid has finally appeared. Second take: the poor clowns have gall bladder issues, or perhaps someone fed them yellow frosting.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

RE: baking home cakes

I would buy my kids a $19.99 1/4 sheet once a year for their birthday so they could have a special decoration based on their interests. The rest of the time I baked. I think it's a bit hypercritical to condemn parents for a once-a-year indulgence.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSpamamander


March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHunter Holcomb

How, now, brown clown?

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Seeing how I really, really, REALLY hate clowns, I'll pass on the heads and take the poopy piles any day. *shudder*

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSweet Li'l Bonbon

Okay, am I just crazy... or does anyone ELSE see two clown octopi cut in half? No, really, seriously, just look at it again... in each case, the octopus was cut in half, but the clown head wasn't, so each one ended up with four tentacles... PEOPLE WORK WITH ME HERE.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnise

Somewhere, under the rainbow,
Clowns are brown,
And the cake that you hoped to bake
Really gets you down.

Somewhere, under the rainbow,
Piles of goo,
Sit in their place with a smiling face,
Birthday wrecks for you.

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@Shirley, @The Phoenix, @Hairfish - your comments all made me LOL.

As did the post itself, of course! =-)

March 21, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Well poop clowns would ruin my day for sure lol. At least the rainbow is pretty. Just don't get to the end of it or you will regret it apparently. Lol.

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I think the baker needs to clean their ears out before they take another phone order.
Also, " Can't sleep, poop-clown'll eat me..."

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterReo

@SQX, you're right. I have been feeling superior to cake wreckers all the years I've been reading this site, and only with your comment have I realized I would definitely screw up the writing on a cake. Sometimes I don't know what the heck those song lyrics on the radio/internet are either, no matter how loud the music. But, see, I'd admit to screwing up!

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

I'm with the other home bakers. No mixes in this house, either. Kids just want something sweet and gooey so they can eat half the piece and then move on to the presents.

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

So, will Pooclowntopusses become a "Thing" like Turdkeys?

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

My daughter calls them 'turd spiders'. I think I should ask the bakery to put those on her 16th birthday cake.

March 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaury S

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