My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Batman Attacking A Shark With A Light Saber... Plus A Cow Udder

There are lots of crazy cakes out there, minions, but the thing to remember is there are distinctive LEVELS of crazy.

What's that? Do I have examples?


Ahem hem hem.

[extending pen-pointer stick thingy]

First, we have Good Crazy:

Because while no one NEEDS a rainbow worm covered in Gummi Bears, why the heck not?


...which can be surpassed by Awesome Crazy:

Or, crazy awesome.


Then we have Bad Crazy:

That's right, running down frisbee players with your new birthday car is bad, Mark. BAAAAD.


First, let's just assume that says "Curt."
Second, Why?
Third, Why?



Also, celebrating the US Navy's birthday with a sinking Titanic isn't so great, either:


And finally - and my personal favorite - we have Bat Sh*t Crazy.

This is the crazy that isn't bad, and isn't good. It's the Chaotic Neutral of crazy, if you will.
(And if you got that, YOU ARE SUCH A NERD. [let's be friends])

For example:

Soccer player butts next to badly rendered Pixar characters.


And of course:

Cow udders.


Thanks to Jessica B., Dana G., Richard W., Lindsay D., Brian E., Anony M., & Cheryl S., who could really see herself understanding cows.

(I'm so proud of that pun I actually teared up a little, you guys. WHAT.)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Fri Favs 2/26/15 | Main | WYSINWYG »

Reader Comments (64)

No way is that a cow udder.
I don't see a frisbee, so I think he's just hitting a girl in summer clothes. Still - bad, Mark!
The lightsaber/shark thing: What.... why...... I don't even.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Dare I ask what the Chaotic Evil of crazy is? First thought: hyper-realistic birth cakes. Or the belly cakes with gelatin, because seriously. Why.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCruithne

We-e-e-e-e! Another spelling of "CONORATULRTIO…" (trailing off into the sunset)
Also, maybe the last one is taunting poor George about his fatal peanut allergy. It looks like a diseased peanut to me.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I only believe that last one is a cow udder because of the spotted background. But the shape? And the strange placement of too many teats?!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Was that udder from a Chernobyl cow?

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGoose

Chaotic neutral is the BEST alignment – rules? What rules?

I thought the cow udder was more of a cross between a potato and a lego.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDB

8 teats, so - mutant cow udders. Mootant Udders....

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

Who or WHY would anyone order a sinking ship cake for the Navy?!?!?! And that last cake does not remind me of an udder. Looks more like a mitochondria I saw on a cell model. As for the rest... O_o

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Your "Ahem hem hem" was read in the voice of Professor Umbridge.
#1 looks like the love child of Sully from Monsters Inc and Randall's sister.
#2 confuses me on many levels.
#3 Mark should know better, but his chest hair tuft says he doesn't care.
#4 "CURT"?! If you say so. Are those bras or sunglasses scattered around the cake?
#5 Nothing says responsible, trustworthy, and seaworthy like the Titanic mid-sink.
#6 uses the star tip, which makes the design looks hairy. I can imagine a hairy tooshie, but not a hairy car.
#7 looks more like a warty potato on a moldy cake. But if you say it's a cow udder, who am I to second guess?

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I, personally, tend to be more Lawful Neutral.

I am kind of digging the Batman with a lightsaber vs a Shark. I think Batman may have issues since it's obviously underwater and he's not wearing scuba gear. Duh.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

That peanut with boils is where milk comes from? No,no NO!! If you don't know an udder, Mr Baker, go lay under a cow and take a good, long look. If you want to bring crazy, bring anatomically correct crazy. Like the chick in the wheelchair; she's not pretty but both and her chair are surprising well drawn. No comment on why you'd ever want a cake like this, especially for "Curt" but hey, crazy needs no reason.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Clearly the first one is gummi Fremen riding a smiley rainbow Shai-Hulud.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCF

It's a balmy 60 degrees here in New Hampshire - a bit toasty for February, but I'll take it - and I'm LMAO at the wrecks. And commentary, of course! The hairy chest on the guy in the car is a... nice?... touch.

My first D&D character was a Chaotic Neutral half-elf thief, and great fun she was to play! [Caution: the link is to the TV Tropes page. Enter at your own risk {wry grin}.]

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGoryDetails

If we all just pretend that instead of Mater the truck is actually the Mutt Cuts car from Dumb and Dumber then the exposed posterior makes a little more sense.

Oh and the guy who discovered the sunken Titanic was in the Navy.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Should I ask what that thing on the last cake is actually supposed to be? Do I even want to know? I see nothing but a big diseased glob of brown icing. *hurk*

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I am a giant nerd, thank you. My first thought on seeing the cow udder was not "cow", or "peanut", but "mitochondria". It looks like those squiggly drawings of cells from high school biology. And the cake above it, with the car, looks like the baker wanted to do a Disney character but couldn't decide between Mater and Chewbacca. And if those two observations together don't make me a giant nerd, I don't know what would.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmberfly

Aargh! I had my post all but finished but I somehow clicked it into the universe (so if this is a repeat, kindly moderator, please omit the first one).

On the second-to the-last cake, I get the car (or Pixar character, whichever it is), but soccer player butts? I'm kind of stumped by the butt cross-crack and the weird stitches and...and...and....

@ Shirley, I would give them a pass on the spelling of CONGRATULATIO... as I think it is only a matter of a poorly executed "G" and an indistinct "A" that looks pretty similar to the previous "R", but I can see that it is a teeny bit more upright than the "R". (oops, now that I look back at it, their other "A" is nice and sharp ... OK, I'll give you that one). And who knows what's on the rest of the banner? LOL.

The Titanic cake is AWESOME (Titanic parts of the cake that is...lifeboats, iceberg, boat execution), but why in the name of all that is holy would someone marry that with the Navy seal...and then "Happy Birthday USA"???? Gotta be some joke on some sailor--please tell me it's an inside joke on some sailor!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Jen, I forgot to say--terrific job on the selections and theme! Just all kinds of hilarious!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Cow udders? On a potato?

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFM

The Titanic one is wonderfully executed. Poor taste on the customer's part, but the baker excelled. I cannot be the only one who thinks that the little life boats and all the little people in them and hanging onto them are just the cutest thing!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersue

*opens mouth*


*closes mouth*

Yeah, I got nothing.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

You know who's a perfect example of a well done chaotic neutral? Deadpool. That, people, is why chaotic neutrals are the worst. Maybe they'll save you, or maybe they'll bring popcorn and watch while your house burns to the ground. WHO KNOWS? THEY'RE SOOOOO CHANGEABLE!!

Also, re: the last cake, I really hope George is a dairy farmer, because if not, I have some questions for George regarding his lifestyle choices.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSkatie

No, nerdy is opening a discussion of which would be a better choice for dealing with a shark: lightsaber or shark repellent bat-spray. Did Batman make the right call and which Sith did he steal the lightsaber from?

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDotti B.

I totally want to know the story behind that Batman/Shark/Lightsaber cake! And the mustaches on the corners of the picture. Epicness at its finest.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

@Amberfly Chewmater just needs bandoliers and a crossbow, then he'd be perfect.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Yes, I did. As a matter of fact my DM changed the alignment of my barbarian from Lawful Neutral to Chaotic Neutral after discovering he was kind of a kleptomaniac...I didn't realize it myself until I kept playing him; Great fighter, not so great at keeping your gems and jewels safe!
And Batman fighting a shark with a light saber is AWESOME!!!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

As the (self proclaimed) resident cow around here...

I am incredibly disturbed with the condition of what I can only assume is a chocolate chip cookie under the Jedi-Batman.
I mean, seriously.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

So, in defense of Mark ... I think it was an accident because he has very short arms and cannot turn the steering wheel correctly. I believe Mark needs arm extensions and this won't happen again : )

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGail

Can't help but think "Curt" is the gal who got run over on the previous cake?

Man, you DO get sent some odd ones. I'm still waiting to find something outrageous enough to send in.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDi F

on Curt's cake, is the gal with the broken leg the collector of all those swimsuit tops, or is it Curt? Either way, it doesn't seem a healthy obsession.

And that last one is no cow udder, even if you've been tipping cows. It does look like a peanut with tumors, though.

I must admit to a fondness for that rainbow/gummy bear worm. There is something cheerful about it on this gray blustery day.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdrgs4vr

There's something really satisfying about the Batman battling Jaws with a light saber one... I sort of want to high five whoever came up with that one....

A bit disturbed by the next two which have a distinctly Ted Bundy-ish feel to them. And is just me or do the "people" on the Titanic lifeboats look like old timey glass milk bottles??

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Chewmater! [ Guffaw!]

@ John Thanks for a new fave

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Am I the only one who thinks the girl in the wheelchair in #4 is the aftermath of getting hit by a car in #3? No?

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

CF for the Nerd win: Varsity level
A spice melange-creating wonder.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWitty Fool

"Clearly the first one is gummi Fremen riding a smiley rainbow Shai-Hulud."

Ah, now that makes more sense. I was thinking that one should decorate a worm cake with gummi worms, not bears.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermagicdomino

I'm still perplexed at the design on Curt's cake.....

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Hey, um, is that supposed to be a "pun" cake? You know, "Hairy-Ass Mater"? If not, I've got nothing. Although, Mater looks like it's a full moon tonight, if you know what I mean...

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterThe Other Jen

My favorite thing used to be totally annoying the rest of the party by continually playing chaotic neutral. Good times! But yeah, that's a cake my character would order. :-P

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh


February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarti

@Mary Kay - I think it is actually meant to read "Happy Birthday USN", but the "N" is done in lowercase. What that has to do with an early twentieth century British passenger liner or why all the people in the life boats are black remains to be explained.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

"It's the Chaotic Neutral of crazy".

Jen, my dear, you just scored a critical hit with a D20. Awesome post.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDances With Lasagna

I always play Chaotic Neutral. Drives the DMs crazy.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJude

Sharknado + Star Wars + Batman = cake #2. But all of them are a bit too strange for me!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Looks like George is a moldy oldy.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Am I the only one that immediately thought of Dumb and Dumber with that penultimate cake?!

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWick

I thought all the "people" in the lifeboats were penguins!

February 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

My fiance figured out the weird one. Since it's a sports player with their butt obviously out... and a weird version of the Cars tow-truck...

It's "Hauling Ass". LOL

February 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMsMoirai

I was guessing based on the stripes that that we were looking at a pantsed/mooning baseball player, not a soccer player. That should clear up any confusion about that cake, at least.

February 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSamjj

I think #4 is celebrating Court(ney)'s birthday while she is recovering from a broken leg.

It doesn't make the cake any better, just less incomprehensible.

February 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Oh man so glad I wasn't the only one to see what appears to be Curt on that cake but not really lol. And why the heck that design on a birthday cake? Oh the joys of me avoiding another birthday cake this year.

February 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>