My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Valentines Review

Remember last week when I told you guys to make Valentines Day extra confusing?

Well, looks like some bakers out there took my advice...TO HEART.

And that's no bull.

(OX OX!)


What day is it, again?

Oh, right.
So HOW old is this cake?


I'm detecting a pattern here:

Maybe bacon?


And the award for "Weirdest Made-Up Punctuation" goes to...

The symbol formerly known as ?!?.

("I.... am confused. >>)


Of course, as bizarre as these Valentines cakes are, it could always be worse:

Must be an ice cream cake... CUZ THAT'S COLD.


Thanks to Christina L., Annalise, Beth H., Kathleen B., & Ashton A. for bringing us down in the dumps.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« I Swear It's Only Powdered Sugar, Officer... | Main | Sunday Sweets For YOU, Valentine »

Reader Comments (32)

I cannot comprehend the reasoning behind these O_o

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Those cakes could all be placed in the category; "OMG, it's 5:30 pm, and it's Valentine's Day, and I forgot to get my wife/girlfriend/(fill in the blank) something sweet. Just sell me anything vaguely 'Valentiney'!" to which the disgruntled recipient replies with the last cake.
Bonus points if the poor schmuck has a nut allergy.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

While it may be giving too much credit to suggest the baker of #4 was thinking bilingually, the double chevron is used as quotation marks in French... but yes without any talk of "je t'aime" they probably are just sliding away from English into pure incoherence.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

They went all the way down to Alphabet street for that punctuation.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTalkSoSexy

For cake #1, you'll find this appropriate -

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

I don't think Jen was referring to the 'double chevrons' (otherwise known as speechmarks), rather than to the use of elipses ie. ... after 'I'.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Oh! The candy corn one! It's the new universal cake- hearts in February ( little president heads would work, too, AND they'd be hilarious in their lousy execution), shamrocks in March, throw some jelly beans on top in April, apple pie ( irony or just a good mash-up) and baseballs for Mothers Day, flags in July and, before you know it, naked candy corn cake in October.
Wild Thing us seriously disturbing. Reminds me of stuff I did in the 70s...

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

For #4, am I the only one hearing Captain Kirk say "I..... love you. up." ?

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

I think the ... on the lips "cake" are like the "state your name here" instructions when saying vows or oaths. "I "state your name here" love you". Allows you to personalize the message when you hand over the cake, right?

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Allegra, you nailed it! That is EXACTLY the voice in my head as I read it! All hail James Tiberius!

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

There is NO reason why it can't be O (hugs) and X (kisses). Most people SAY hugs and kisses, not kisses and hugs. So really, OX is correct.
As for the I.... cake, that is clearly a William Shatner valentine.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErika

OMG. I have waited so long to find a wreck that was Cake Wreck worthy. I literally squealed when I saw the pic! Then I squealed at the other cakes...for different reasons. Oy.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChristina L.

I'm not the only one 2 how thought of Prince for that one cake! LOL

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterYes! that crushed nuts on the last cake? Seems appropriate.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteradina

Which one is the candy corn one? It's not a confection we get here, so I'm taking a stab in the dark and assuming #2?
I thought that was a CCC assembled by someone who forgot what a heart looked like, and the piping was done further down the production line. But that brings to mind mass:produced and decorated cakes. Can you imagine MORE of these?!?

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDalek

Guess the wild thing is wild! Apparently not potty trained!

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

Wild thinge, you make my meat singe,
You burn everythinge coal-black, wild thinge.
Wild thinge, I think I love you,
But I wanna see you fry.
Come on, turn up the heat ...
I love you!

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

To be fair, #4 is labeled "Variety Pack". Who knew they were referring to the punctuation?

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterc.davis

@Allegra:'re NOT.

@TwinMom: not...think so. (Sorry--the smart-alec in me rose to the surface...)

Welcome! ...To the Bill Shatner School... of cake decorating!

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Not bacon. Tiger or zebra stripes. At this point, can anyone guess which?

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChris Staffa

Well, in the wreckerator's defense, the lips do say "variety pack." Variety of punctuation, randomly placed.

Not weird actually, when you consider that clearly those lips belong to William Shatner.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterelisssabeth

...also, perhaps the pile o' nuts in the center of the "see other people" cake are supposed to look like the whole relationship imploding...???

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterelisssabeth

First thought on the Wild Thing cake (after figuring out it says "thing") was the design is a golf course layout. Perhaps "Wild Thing" is a jab at someone's accuracy off the tee.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

I totally read the " you" cake as... William Shatner... in my head. Lol

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlaceofbase

Oh, now I see the candy corn in #2. Honestly, when I looked at it earlier today, the background icing looked white on the bottom. Yes, really - how OLD is that cake?!

Re #1: Erika, I agree with the hugs & kisses order. Makes sense. Personally, it could double as a Valentine / Chinese New Year cake for my birth-year of the Ox!

@adina, too funny!

Maybe there's some Magic Picture I'm missing on the Wild Thing cake. I keep squinting my eyes, but all I see is chocolate road kill. Why did the Wild Thing cross the cake? I guess we'll never know.

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

Wild thing
You make me question things
Bakers make everything groovy
Wild thing

Wild thing, I think I 'm confused
But I wanna know for sure
So come on and tell me
What the heck they are

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

"I...Love You!" The William Shatner pause!

February 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Would totally eat that last cake lol. That or be tempted to throw it at whoever gave it to me.. sheesh that would be mean.

February 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I legitimately thought the lips cake was actually a football. Wow.

February 16, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMorgue

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February 19, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWorld laughs dominate

Cake #1 reminds me of a pair of socks a former coworker of mine gave me for Christmas. She knew I like wacky socks, so she found this tacky pair of Christmas socks that were supposed to say HO HO HO, but there was a misprint, and they said OH OH OH. She said she knew she had to get them for me as soon as I saw them, and it was much appreciated; I laughed so hard when I unwrapped them.
Still wear them each Christmas. :)

February 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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