My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Have A Peek At You

I admit it, I don't know much about Pikachu. I'm a grown man, darnit! So when I watch cartoons, there better be turtles who eat pizza and use nun-chucks, is what I'm saying.

Also ponies. Big fan of ponies.

Still, even I know Pikachu is an adorable yellow... thing... that kinda looks like this:

Only with less mold.


Or like this:

"Kiiiiill killkillkillkill..."

Only with less homicidal eye-glinting.


You know what? Here. This is what Pikachu looks like:


And with such a handy reference, I'm sure your baker will have NO PROBLEM... er...

Never mind.



[Dramatic Narrator Voice] "Meanwhile, in Japan..."



Thanks to Lynae, Betsy M., Anony M., & Lauren S., who I hear has a compunction to capture the entirety. (LOOK GUYS I MADE A POKEMON JOKE!)


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Reader Comments (34)

The last photo is an important reminder that we have more in common with our fellow earthlings than we'd sometimes like to admit.

Also, that third "Pikachu" is so happy. Just look at that face. How dare you criticize him and make him sad. I'm disappointed in you, John.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Those last ones are pi-KACHOOs. Somebody sneezed 'em out.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

The Japanese wreck gets better, because they technically spelled Pikachu's name wrong (I lived in Japan briefly during college). While their spelling could be phonetically correct, they left off the final 'U' sound.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

@Trista: You're right! Good eye (though I'm hardly fluent, I can read some katakana [the simpler alphabet, which this is; yes, there's more than one).

J(thoj): I often show this column to my teens (some of these they think are HILARIOUS) but I didn't dare show them this one. They worship Pikachu.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Is it just me, or is there a subliminal picture on the "yellow" Pikachu in photo #1 that looks like a "yuk face" with its tongue sticking out? And now that I've seen it, I cannot unsee it. An entirely appropriate image, nonetheless....

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrettH

I'm melting...........

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

To be fair, 80 yen is about 75 cents, so at least they don't overcharge. Although it is surprising to find such shoddy workmanship in Japan...usually their pastries are to cute to eat! (Just came back to the States after livingjust south of Tokyo for 15 months).

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnnaB

I forgive the happy one just because, you know, so happy!

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr912

Anyone else have a sudden craving for mom's chocolate chip cookie dough? Just me? Hmmm. OK then.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

@Moira, I'm with you. They look like lumps of cookie dough. Perhaps they are take-home-and-bake Pikachus.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

If the googlie eyed Pikachu was made using "Best Creme", it is logical to assume there is also "lesser" and "not so good" creme. Ewww.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

A few things about the Japanese photo:

1. This is manju, not a pastry, so it's not too surprising it looks goopy. Manju is a pretty goopy red bean paste. (I think Pikachu's eyes may be red beans...?)

2. Pikachu is rendered fine in katakana. That extra dash substitutes for the 'u', so while it might not be the "official" ピカチュウ, ピカチュ— sounds the same. But that might be intentional, because...

3. The third line—少 しちがくない—is sort of young-person's slang that basically means, "It's sort of wrong, isn't it?" So the manju makers are certainly in on the wreckiness.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is something at a high school festival, say, where it's students doing all the work as sort of a fundraiser, and not professionals at all. I can't prove that from what's shown, but it would be consistent with what I saw when I lived there. Usually Japanese bakeries are *awesome*; this is pretty out of character for pretty much any bakery I've ever seen anywhere.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

My 11 year-old son is watching a Pokemon video as I type! The other day he asked me to put together a team of six Pokemon. 1- Pikachu- the only one on the list that I was sure is a Pokemon. 2- Charizard- I'm pretty sure that this is a Pokemon (he assured me that it is.) 3- Starfire (Yes, I know, she is a Teen Titan) 4- Stitch (Okay, I know that 626 is from Lilo and Stitch) 5- Chewbacca (Every team needs a Wookie!) 6- The Doctor (I figure that a Time Lord is a plus for a team like this) Needless to say, my knowledge of Pokemon is quite limited, but even I know what Pikachu looks like, and well ...I'm at a loss here.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

These wrecks look like they would have been right at home sometime around the end of October. From the looks of picture one, I guess that even Pikachu and Hello Kitty are not immune to the coming zombie apocalypse. Picture two only confirms my fears. While picture three looks like poor Pikachu is trying to transmogrify into Hello Kitty to save himself. Sadly, picture four shows how badly that metamorphosis turned out...

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEselle

Cupcake pikachu is just soo excited to have been picked! :-)

The hello kitty in the first pick is either rockin the Dia de los Muertos look or heading for the zombie apocalypse.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenah

O_o wtf

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Gotta catch 'em a cold.
@Greg: fascinating assessment! I, too, was inclined to dismiss those being slightly more on a swerve out of reality, heading toward a ...hmmm...maybe a nice cow path out in Iowa, or some such field of nightmares...
Yes? =^-.-^=

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm probably going to hell for the Peeps Marshmallows/Hiroshima joke that popped into my head when I saw that last photo, aren't I?

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTAL

The fourth pic is Ditto partway through using Transform to become a copy of Pikachu.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMel M

Looks like those last pikachus need to get put in the oven for a little bit longer.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

With the goofy smile, the antenna and the stubby little arms, Pikachu #3 reminds me of the caterpillar from Bug's Life.

December 12, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

They say everything comes back into style. My son, who's now all grown up and a teacher, asked us to look for his book of Pokemon cards (in plastic protective sheets) so he could take it to school and show his students that 20 years ago he, too, collected Pokemon cards. He says it's a "thing" for his students (PreK to 12) to trade cards at lunch. Go figure.

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Those Pikachus look like underbaked chocolate chip cookies. I can't tell what they are just look like dough before it went in the oven lol. Oh man the laughing here.

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The last picture looks like a tray full of hamsters.

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

#1 The last cakes produced at the Abandoned Bakery (clearly abandoned for cause). Here, in addition to Goodbye Kitty, we can see...what on Earth is going on with that thing on the left -- is that an extra mouth?! I wasn't aware Pikachu came in a Mick Jagger signature version.

#2 Again, I doubt coincidental ordinal placement. On the short list of things that argue against this, we have, in addition to the wreckeration, CCC (patooie!) and 'best creme', whatever that is. If the first letters are not b-u-t-t-e-r, any superlative beginning with 'b' need not apply.

#3 Ok, points for recycling Easter lamb cakes, but really.

#4 Some enterprising soul is selling props from that memorable Star Wreck episode, 'The Trouble With Things That Look Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Pikachu'.

But at least [shameless suck-up alert] we can make our own chocolate frog ornaments. (Hint: leaving the bones in makes them crunchy.)

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Hello Kitty has no mouth, and she must scream!

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLora

The third wreck looks like a happy yellow amoeba wearing Madonna's conical bra.

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

The PikaNOOOOOOOOOs are bad, to be sure, but I, personally, am haunted by the Hello Ghoulie in the first photo.

December 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@BrettH: Yes, that is a subtle "yuk!" face in the lower left of picture #1. But it has three eyes.

Also, in photo #1, is that "Hello Kitty" or "Hell Kitty"?

December 14, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

CCC (patooie!) Pikachu needs a bra!

December 15, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

I'm pretty sure Pikachu #1 is drunk, and he is imagining running free in the hills and singing, " Hello Kitty, my precious purr-ific beau," and Kitty's just like, " Dude, we broke up two weeks ago. LET IT GO..."

December 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterYo Mama

Kitty:"OK Pikachu, spell CAT."
Kitty:" Nope, let's try some math-"
Kitty: "No, MATH. What is 2+2?"
Pikachu: (stares at Kitty's chest)
Kitty:" Sigh, alright, what's my name?"
Pikachu:"MY WIFE!!!"
Kitty:(runs out of room screaming for her life)

December 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMia

Hey, Zippy, if Pikachu needs a bra he can just walk across the screen. There was a Lane Bryant ad on the right side of my screen! LOL!!!

December 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHarleyQuinnGirl

Finally! A Pikachu cake I don't mind cutting! Also, Ash is disappointed you criticized Pikachu cakewrecks, John. You Pokémon bully. Oh, do Magikarp cakewrecks next please!

December 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKat

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