My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Is There No "Just Us"?

After you see the word "just" written on a cake enough times, you start to ask yourself, "How does this keep happening?"


I don't know. I honestly don't. 

But it still cracks me up.


Sometimes I can't help imagining the conversation:

"What would you like the cake to say?"

"'Happy Birthday.'"

"Anything else?"

"Just 'Happy Birthday.'"



(I see "Just Happy Birthday" so often that I'm starting to wonder if bakers think it's a "thing." You know, like Man Showers or Dubstep.)


Then there are the perils of ever thanking your baker:



Not to mention the perils of writing anything out with instructions, really:

And just like that, CC's hysterectomy cake would never be forgotten.


So bakers, remember: when in doubt about a cake, you're always better off writing nothing on it than risk getting the order wrong.


No, not "nothing ON IT," I mean just, you know, NOTHING.

 You're killing me here.

Ok, what if I tell you to leave the cake blank?

As I suspected:

We're doomed.


Thanks to Ginger E., Anony M., Jenny C., Nathan B., Nicole P., Cristina B., Kristen H., Erica, & Ross E., who know you can't take anything I say literally, because I only speak in similes. LIKE A BOSS.


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Reader Comments (19)

I think at least one of these bakers used to do surveys at a mall. One gal stopped me, asked questions, and then jot down my answers.
"Anything else?"
"No, that's all."
And she would carefully write down "that's all" and the end of every response.
I'm glad to see she went on to better and better things.

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Just a haiku:

Hoping for nothing
I asked for a special cake
As blank as my mind

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

At first I thought the cake was a nice way of telling the "birthday girl" that 34 was not all that old. (Especially when compared to oldie-mouldies like me) Then, I realized where you were going with this post.

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Geez, a cake with a turnip as a decoration...
Oh! that is supposed to be a strawberry!

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

This post still cracks me up, and caused multiple -facepalms-

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Bwahahaha@suebee. :D as for the cakes this is what happens when things are taken way too literally O_o

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Why complain if it means more ICING??? 8-d

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBea

I wouldn't pay. I hope no one else did either. Stupid idiots on both sides if they did.

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

"this page intentionally left blank"

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I like that Barbara!? has so many unnecessary question marks. ?Thanks?!

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenteremistem

A testimonial to "the gene pool needs bleach" fer shure!

The "Nothing" cake is... weird. What is that? A gardening cake gone wrong with too many gummy worms? And then there's the word 'nothing' floating there in the corner. Ay carumba!

This could also be a testimonial to what happens to cakes in states that have legalized the use of marijuana!

@ SuBee - Too funny, as always!


November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Is it just me, or does that last cake look like a guy in a tuxedo that was run over by a truck?

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterimspiffier

It makes me really angry when I see wrecks like these. I do find them hilarious, but the customers were probably given a form that said something along the lines of 'your message exactly as you want it to appear on the cake:'. In that case, it's entirely the customer's fault. Phone orders, on the other hand, could cause confusion leading to wrecks like these, I suppose...

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

At first I thought "nothing" was a two way wreck: because of the word and the decoration. But then I connected the dots: that freshly removed soil look...the worms...IT'S A CRIME SCENE PEOPLE!!! And the word "nothing" is there on purpose, so we don't ask questions that were already answered, like:What's buried here?

November 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarĂ­a

... the worms have hats?

...special green buttercream hats?

Also, I came here looking for a Terry Pratchett reference. I still think there might be one in there, somewhere.

December 1, 2016 | Unregistered CommentertheangelJean

Did anyone else have to look up "Man Showers" to see what kind of gender specific bathing that men are doing these days?

No? Just me?

Alrighty, then.

I had no idea that a male only baby shower was a man shower. And this whole "man xxx" naming trend always makes me think of this comic

December 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterahimsa

Lol just gimme the cake is what one customer should have said. Then they would have a cake with only the word Just on it. Sheesh.

December 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I keep looking at these like one of those word riddles, you know the ones. e.g. May then below that AAA. Answer - mayonnaise. So ... nothing pink in wormy poo. Do I win a prize?

@theangelJean - me too. But it seems there is no justice, just us.

December 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkismet

"How does this keep happening?"
I just don't know; it just does. I guess it's just one of those things.

December 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGary

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