My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No Mean Feet

If you want a simple theme for a baby shower, it's hard to go wrong with cute little footprints.

Unless the baker misses the "little" part, of course:


 Good grief, MY feet are smaller than that. Are you trying to give the mom-to-be a heart attack, bakers?


'Cuz if so, this is also an excellent way to go about it:

"Suddenly Nicola's plans for a natural, drug-free delivery seemed really, really stupid."

And how's the kid even fitting in there, Nicola? Do you have a TARDIS belly? o.0


Oh, wait, or maybe the kid is shaped like this:

 On the plus side, he probably won't fall over much.


But we were talking about footprints, weren't we?

Which might be what these are supposed to be. Maybe. Allegedly.


Hey, ever wanted to see a duck with human feet that only walks backwards?

Well, tough. You're going to see one anyway:

Embrace the insanity. 

And then waddle backwards with it.


"Sadly, little Mike's dream of becoming a professional dancer came with a slight disadvantage:"

And here I thought that was just a figure of speech.


Of course, the absolute creepiest thing you can do with a footprints shower theme is mistake "footprints" for actual feet:

Somewhere a quartet of elves is literally foot-loose and fancy-free*. 

And probably pissed.


*If by "fancy" you mean "feet."


Thanks to today's arch-enemies [smirk] Layli S., Arlene P., Linda A., Gianna M., Anony M., Melissa B., & Becca H. for the sole-full feets.


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Reader Comments (20)

Sad part is the Nicole baby shower cake is actually pretty good-for a belly cake

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMindy1

Ohmygod, look at those tiny little feet in that last one! Aren't they cuuuuute!!!!

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Um, last time I checked, the baby's feet were up near the ribs. An impending breech birth is NOT something to celebrate!

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSithrak

I'm sorry but the duck looks like he's floating in a Jacuzzi that he shares with interesting formations of rabbit pellets.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterEselle

So, is Nicole having twins and one escaped? Is that the takeaway, here?

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

May the Schwartz be with you

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRenée

I think the cake of baby Gavin is from the view of him crawling away from us..... bottom of feet, bottom, and him glancing back. On a separate note, the breech baby tummy cake is suchow a bad omen looking thing.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Maybe little Mike is destined to show champion dogs?

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

Misread the 1st cake: thought it said "BABY SASQUATCH" which rather made sense.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGryphondear

Clearly it was the dirty water that walked away from the tub.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMalin

#4 looks like it's going through mitosis. And Nicola is going to have a rough labor! (I still don't get the appeal of the decapitated belly & boobie cakes representing the mommy-to-be.)

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Allegedly they are shaped like peanut shells.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Anyone else notice that on the 4th photo the "feet" on the top right are two right feet instead of a right and a left?

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

On the cookie cake, I'm thinking that's supposed to be a bottle, but it just looks like a ruler with a nipple to me.

November 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Poor Baby Mike reminds me of Eugene Levy's character from Best in Show: born with two left feet!

November 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.

Baby Gavin is downright scary - looks like it should be on the ceiling in Trainspotting. (shudder!)

November 24, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkismet

OMG before my eyes focused up I thought poor Nicola's cake featured a giant vagina and that white frilly bit of plate at the bottom were some toes! Yikes!

November 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Well, Baby Schwarz is 12 years old now (even more since it was born on the 4th of July, which might account for the grandiosity) so the feet now fit.

November 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

As usual I'm tearing from laughing so hard. I lost it with that tardis belly comment.

November 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBrigham from Germany

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