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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan252016

These 9 Bakery Windows Are All The Warning You'll Ever Need

I'm always amazed by the amount of cake wrecks in shop windows. It's almost as if the bakers themselves are trying to warn us off, in an "abandon hope, all ye who enter here" kind of way.

That or they're operating a secret meth lab in back, and don't want customers wandering in.

Either way, can't say they didn't warn us!

Even Elmo is afraid to stop smiling. No sudden moves, anyone.

 

Nothing says, "just stack that anywhere" quite like this bakery's...pink...thing:

Are those stitches?

Alrighty, then.

 

Don't worry; it's probably not mold:

 

And these eyes do not - I repeat, do NOT - follow you when you turn around:

0.o

 

If you stand there long enough, I hear this shop will send someone out to loudly explain it's a sand castle, and let's see YOU do any better, thank you very much:

You must admit, the bursting confetti sprays from the "towers" are inspired.

...by something DIRTY.

heyoooooo

 

Someone tells me this is supposed to be a pork pie:

Appetizing.

 

And this is either a floating circus tent, or a cooking pot smashed on top of an octopus:

Either way, way to appeal to the masses, guys.

 

This next one tells the tale of Chompers, the molar-stealing clown who sends kids to their deaths on a rickety old roller coaster:

...but Chompers also raises miniature horses, so you know he has a sensitive side.

 

Of course, sometimes you don't need display cakes to grab attention.
Sometime you just need a cunning shop name:

That, or a cunning linguist.

 

Thanks to Wendee, Anna A., Becka D., Elise H., D.C., Karen, Niki B., Norah B., Mic N., & Cunnilicious Cakes, which is NOT an erotic bakery, but has apparently never googled that word.

[grin]

PS - you should probably turn on your safe search first.

*****

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Reader Comments (61)

Also, 'bespoke' AND 'custom'? Those cunnilicious cakes really are one of a kind.

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLesley

Actually, I'm pretty sure that Chompers is raising miniature fighting horses...

January 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Hey, I just love you guys, but once a teacher, always a teacher. "Amount" is used with items which really can't be counted, like air or water. "Number" is used with things that CAN be counted, such as cakes or carrot babies. So "amount of cakes" just makes me cringe.

English lesson completed.

February 7, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

That's my picture of Elmo!

Two things about it. First, look closely; there is mold on the frosting. Two, locals call this "The Pooping Elmo".

February 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWendee

Mommy? Why have Elmo's legs been squashed? Is that why he's in pain, 'cause his legs are 2 dimensional?

February 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

As a UK resident, actually, I have to say that one cake looks very realistically like a pork pie with beans. Seriously, it does.

February 25, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLynneB

I'm crying!! I have not laughed at anything as much as Chompers the clown in a very long time!! I could not breathe for laughing at one point. Thanks for that. 😂

March 26, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCrystalwitch4

Definitely a Scotch Pie. I've been asked on two occasions to make a Scotch Pie Cake but with brown sauce instead of baked beans, so there is a demand for them!

July 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Loo

That cake shop is in Oldham in the North of England. Home also to several sandwich shops independently named "Buttylicious". (Butty is a colloquialism for sandwich.) Thanks Beyonce.

December 5, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCJ

I _think_ the floating circus tent may be a plastic fishing bobber. Not sure why it's cruising an octopus, though. Maybe they're a terrible attempt at splashing water?

February 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChristie S.

I believe #4 is supposed to be one of the Na'vi from James Cameron's Avatar, I don't recall them having manic grins though

March 12, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterGrainneG

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