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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs 1/22/16

A few of my favorite new submissions this week:


An oceanography institute held a dessert contest for their employees, but someone apparently decided to cheat a bit, aaaand:

....hilarity ensued.

I like how this person immediately threw the store under the bus. Better for people to know you cheated than think you drew THAT, am I right?

(Though, in the baker's defense, that's a real whale of a penis she drew there.)


And speaking of less-than-family-friendly cake decorating, you've got to watch out for some of these bakers and their four-letter-words:

Thank goodness the snowman censor was there to spare the innocent.


It's decided, I'm calling them this from now and on:



Here's one to file under "Dear God, What IS That Thing?!"

Look closely, and you can almost hear the shrieking eels.

(That's a rather obscure Princess Bride reference. If you got it, let's be friends.)


Btw, ever wonder what some of these cakes are even for?

Well, alrighty, then.


Thanks to David E., Anony M., Ruth C., Autumn J., & Rebecca H. for not "Russian" these wrecks.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (57)

Oh goody! We're friends, cuz I totally got that Princess Bride reference.....unfortunately, I just don't get that cake....

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOlga

As cries of "Dear God, what is that thing?" echo in your perfect ears.
THAT is what To The Pain means. It means I leave you wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Don't ever go up against ME when Princess Bride quotes are on the line!

Also, are those shrimp? Because after your quote, all I could see were ears.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKaytee

Past that part, you read it already. Can we be friends now? ;)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMisti

Maybe he said sperm whale.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That second-to-last one? *HURK*

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

2 obscure references - LOVE IT!

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Well, it's decided. I'm your friend. Because I'm not left-handed either.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

To the Pain! That cake is definitely wallowing in freakish misery.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Well, obviously the "What IS that thing" is Singapore Noodles. That's exactly how it looks on my local pan-Asian restaurant's menu (next to the shrieking eel sushi). Ordinarily the eggs are scrambled and not sunny-side up, but if you requested it that way, I'm sure they'd tell you, "As you wish."

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDominic

I got the reference! Honestly, I didn't even consider it obscure. So, we're friends now, right?

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarshall Smith

I got the shrieking eels comment!! I get to be your friend, whoooo hooooo!!! Can we sing Storybook Love at the top of our lungs while eating chocolate revitalizing pills? (chocolate coating makes it go down easier...)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

To the pain!

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGarrett

deviled eggs, shrimp and..?
I guess the upside of losing your eyes is not having to look at that. to the pain indeed. *shudder*

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterliv

I might have seen the Princess Bride too often, then, because I didn't think either of those references were obscure LOL In fact, I read "dear God what is that thing" in Cary Elwes' voice.

I also feel like there should be a sperm whale joke somewhere with that first cake ;)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Ha! "They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh!" Love the Princess Bride.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterFran

"Dear God, what IS that thing?" Looks like a cross between shrimp pad thai and bibimbap (for the fried eggs) recreated in frosting.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Somebody is going to have to explain to me, the snowman cupcakes 4- letter word.

(Editor's note- Hi Elizabeth. It's just snow. Because snow is a four letter word. I was all, "Jen, nobody's gonna get it because they're all gonna think it's some weird internet word that they've never heard like 'SOAW' or something." And then she was all, "But SNOW is a four letter word and it kinda looks like the snow man is censoring something and so, like, the joke, like, works on two levels, man!"

So yeah. Totally Jen's fault. -john (the hubby that makes Jen sound like she's stoned)]

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I'm pretty sure the cake from Florin is some manner of Asian noodle dish. Full of impressively unappetizing noodles.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

I got the Princess Bride reference! Let's totally be buds! But in the meantime, seriously, what IS that thing?! I feel like I'm seeing fried eggs and shrimp and ... are those carrots? ::head tilt::

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

On the 4th cake I think it is eggs, shrimp and poo.... baby poo! (And I immediately got the PB reference!!)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPenny M.

What! That's not an obscure Princess Bride reference, that's, like just a reference. :) :) Of COURSE I got it. Incidentally, have you read the new book out, "As You Wish," by Cary Elwes? Lots of fun to get the inside scoop on all the silly things he did while he was on set (and off set) during filming.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

I'm not getting the four letter word one. A hint? I'll probably feel really stupid.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

I got the 'Princess Bride' reference! Let's be friends :)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Eggs & hashbrowns & shrimp? WTF!?!?

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy2

I got the reference. Okay! Let's be friends! :D
And I don't have to ask what that second to last picture is at all. It's clearly a pile of intestines and crab claws with Kermit poop for garnish and eggs sunny side up to top it all off. I suspect there may be spoo inside as well. (If you didn't get that reference, watch Babylon 5, stat. And don't judge it on the first season. Keep going anyway. It gets better, I promise. But you can't skip season 1. To much essential backstory.)
What I do question is why anyone would want to EAT that!

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKay S

That second to last abomination is the only thing to make me hate cake

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

After my son wearing out 3 VHS tapes of The Princess Bride when he was young (he is 30 now and still loves it) I can recite that movie backwards in my sleep. I am so thankful that DVDs don't wear out so fast...:)

P.S. John, not cool to throw Jen under the bus on the 4 letter word....Not cool at all

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

I hear the label on #3 in the voice of Lisa Douglas on "Green Acres."

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBob

That second-to-last one is obviously a highly detailed Horta cake.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGristle McNerd

Wait, that was an obscure Princess Bride reference? Perhaps I've watched it a few too many times.


January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie L

OMG. I totally got the references, and neither of them were obscure. I'm so excited--I've been waiting for a chance to be friends with you!

And I think the cake is supposed to look like some kind of Chinese noodle and shirmp meal. Which doesn't make it any more appetizing as a cake. Really rather the opposite.

I wish I hadn't just eaten lunch.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

I'm with everyone questioning whether those are truly obscure references. So how do we make this friendship thing happen? ;) LOL

Good night, good work, sleep well! (Now that's an obscure reference without the second half of the quote... which I hope doesn't get interpreted as a threat! Because, I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself.)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLadybugFaerie

Obscure? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. ~joining the best pals club~

So on the last one, 80s like shoulder pads in oversized sweaters and teased out hair, or 80s like Medicaid and Social Security? Maybe it's for a conference for 80-year-old Russians? Or people who studied the Russian language in the 1980s?

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Suffering from the flu this morning. Decided to check out Cake Wrecks as a pick-me-up. Perhaps today was not the day for me. My tender tummy was not ready for a shrimp, egg and intestine cake surrounded by blackish-green sea cucumbers...

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Well... I guess the good news is that we can be friends!!!!

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Whats wrong with the sow cake, Does my female pig not deserve a cake once in a while?

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlissa

She does not eat the cake at this time. You seemed a bit concerned, so I thought I should tell you.

(Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go watch Princess Bride again...)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHannah C

I'm proud of the proper use of "it's" on that last cake. The word wasn't necessary, but at least it was the correct word.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

the only obscure reference i'm aware of is 'gently!' ... cause i say that one all the time. that and variants of 'She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time.'

i also may have gotten Carey Elwes to autograph my copy of the The Princess Bride at Philly ComicCon last year.....

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrystan

It is inconceivable that you would think that is an obscure reference! You would need to be like Aristotle, Plato or Socrates (morons) to think that. Either that, or I just watch it too much. I can spot a Princess Bride quote like a falcon on a cloudy day, and my knowledge of it is so strong you can't break it, not with a thousand swords. So, do I qualify as worthy of being your friend? (yeah......... maybe I'm just a tad excited that someone quoted my favorite movie {and book} of all time ever)

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTorrey C

Literary Reference Day, people. First cake decoration is Moby.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMilleP

I'm afraid that the Shrieking Eels have been turned into some kind of bizarre sushi roll…..Let's be friends….on a more serious note, Humperdinck there seems to be coming coughed up by Cthulhu. Is it the Elder God equivalent of Ambergris?

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

You want to be friends? As you wish! ;-)

Come, my friend, and I'll tell you a tale,
Of a cake and a wreck,
And their sad story.
And how they made us laugh so much,
And the lack of charms they did possess.

This cake looks like it's slimy and gory
But it's as gross as the poo that you poo,
This cake looks like it's slimy and gory
But it's as gross as the poo that you poo.

January 22, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Whale cake.. oh man so they just decide to draw a big wang on it and call it a sperm whale? Lazy wreckerators lol.

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

You rush a wreckers tot, you get- what is that thing?

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

@LadybugFaerie: It's only considered threatening if you want to retire & live like a king in Patagonia.

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

well i think it's official. at least among your fans, this is Not an obscure reference. on a side note, did you know that in the book they're shark and not eels? inconceivable i know!

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterjen m

#1: I guess they thought you ordered a Fail Whale, 'cause that certainly fails at being a whale. Ba-dum-bum!

#2: No, I think Snowman there is just really happy to be calling me a sow. Not nice, man.

#3: The poopy seeds make it go down easier. But don't go swimming after for, what, an hour? Yeah, a good hour.

#4: "This is your brain on drugs."

#5: I'd like to attend this party. Is it an 80's themed birthday at a Russian conference? Or is someone at the Russian conference turning 80? I'm hoping to see people wearing 80's style Russian clothing, who may or may not also be 80.

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

HAL: I LOVED THAT BOOK! And The Princess Bride. Obviously. It's been a while since I tried it, but I could probably hold my own in a competition quoting the movie from memory. Particularly the Battle of Wits and the scene on the castle wall.

January 23, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSharell

The Chinese cake is even worse when you mistake the "noodles" for maggots... Cannot unsee.

January 24, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDanadu

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