My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs 9/25/15

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:


Ever watched your man drop his towel and do a "sexy dance?"

And if so...

...does this look familiar?



It's been a long time since I railed against the airbrush here on CW, but I want you all to know: still sucks.

(I also want you to know that the urge to start quoting Princess Bride here is inconceivably strong.)


Keisha wanted this:


But Keisha GOT this:

Sorry, Keisha.


And Jamey would like us to know that these are little baby booties:

...NOT baby peckers.

Which made me laugh way more than it should.


And finally:

After seven years of documenting wreckage and weird wedding trends, it's hard to surprise me.
But this?

That, my friends, is a professionally made wedding "cake" made of... waaaait for it...

You know, those dumpling things you're supposed to eat with Kielbasa? Except these are covered in icing and stuffed with bananas and Sweet StayPuft it's so wrong what is wrong with you people even the real cheese cakes were better aaaaaaaaaaa


Happy Friday, y'all.


Thanks to Taylor H., Corinne K., Keisha D., Jamey I., & Missy S. for showing us what a raw oyster "cake" might look like. (I'm not the only one who see it, right?)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (44)

It's okay, Keisha. Those first pearl necklaces are always a little disappointing. Uh, or so I've heard.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

That last wedding wreck? ...biurko glowy.(Head desk in Polish, thank you Google Translate)
Another day, another does of CW chuckles. Thank you Jen!

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

That decorator did the very best possible job while decorating pierogies. What a strange sentence.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

That pierogies cake is soooooo wrong

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

What Keisha got was really not *that* bad. It could have been better, but it wasn't as wrecktacular as most "What she wanted/what she got".

As far as the pierogies cake, my country self thought it was home fried turnovers (sometimes called fried pies, stuffed with home-canned fruit). I was totally excited for the concept of a cake made of Grammy's fried apple pies.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

Free pearl necklace that you have to suck the buttercream from!
Oh! I just realised how dirty that sounds. ;)

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

The last one is my Princess Bride reference....Dear God, what is that thing???

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

It took me staring at the baby winkies for about three minutes, then coming back to them later to finally figure out how they were supposed to be booties.

They also look like thumbs sticking up out of the cake, over and over again.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I know the whole "I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit" is totally cliched and overused. But I literally did when reading the pierogi cake description.

Now I need some gum.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Moira, I'd say Keisha's cake was terrible even if it was exactly what she asked for. Look at the swipe marks on the buttercream, with the cake showing through! Look at the cheap ribbon with the loose ends curling up! My one query would be that the 'what she wanted' cake was way, way too ambitious for this baker - though I bet they swore they could do it, no problem.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

And half the baby winkies are from Vulcan babies.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

@Moira, you have now made me nostalgic for my MeeMaw's fried peach pies. She had this peach tree in her back yard that delivered the most fragrant, tasty fruit. She would can it in Mason jars, then make fried pies in the fall. I'd eat that for ANY occasion, even a wedding.

Sadly, her house and that tree were destroyed by a tornado when I was young, and now she's gone too. :`(

Well, I may be sad but don't much care whether desserts are wrecked!

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Princess Bride quotes? As you wish.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

I know we're all sticklers about punctuation here, so I'm hoping this observation comes across as helpful (as I intend). :)

When using quotation marks, any punctuation that isn't related to the phrase inside the marks should be placed outside the marks. So "sexy dance?" should be "sexy dance"?, because the question mark belongs with the sentence, not with the phrase in quotes.

And alas, my husband has never done a dance like that for me, but I'm sure if he ever did, that little clown would be the first thing I thought of.

[Editor's note- While we completely agree, technically the American style is to always put the quotes outside the punctuation which is sillly. The British do it your way which is "correct". Jen does it randomly so that everyone is annoyed part of the time. -john (the hubby of "Jen".)]

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I didn't actually see the baby anatomy until I read the text. Now I can't un-see it. Yikes! Good thing it's Friday!

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

The fist cake looks like a big clown jumped from behind a cake and started eating a smaller clown -_-

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephi

The Princess Bride was released on September 25, 1987. Keep the quotes coming!

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

What can I say, but Pittsburghers LOVE their pierogies! And the filling in the pierogies is supposed to be banana split. NOt sure that makes it sound any better tho.....

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMIssy S.

I wonder how the pierogie cake tastes. Probably like crap, but I'd probably eat it.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

@Jenny, my husband and I go round on that one, all the time! :) I was raised with the correct (British, Canadian) method, and he was raised with the American (wrong) method. Go figure. Thanks for the smile...I'm glad I'm not the "only one". ;)

"Anybody want a peanut?"

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRogo

I know it's wrong... so, so wrong... but... I kinda wanna try one of those banana-stuffed pierogis. (Is the plural of pierogi pierogis or pierogi?) Maybe without the frosting, though, that seems like overkill.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I'm glad to know the last cake is composed of pierogis--well, not glad, but it was better than my first guess. I thought they were frosted gingerbread men and were being used to make some kind of statement about the bride and/or groom. Luckily, I hadn't figured out what that statement was before I discovered what it really was.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

My first thought on that last, er, "cake" was, "Huh. frosted nachos".

For *some* reason, I now have Wee Willie Winkie running through my mind.

@John (thoJ): That made me laugh right out loud! : D

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea


...I was going to have perogies for dinner. I think I'll skip that now.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

Banana pierogi with frosting. I'd eat it. I'd bet I'd like it. But... a wedding cake? That's a serious case of WTF.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDances with Lasagna

"Jen does it randomly so that everyone is annoyed part of the time."

This is completely AWESOME!!!! Just be careful that you don't start a land war in Asia.

Poor Emery. The wreckerator wasn't even smart enough to to try to put some kind of crown/tiara on top of the cake. Miserable fail. Could you save that cake? Maybe. But it would take a miracle.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Pierogies? I don't know if I'd like banana as much as a nice mutton, lettuce, and tomato. Especially when the mutton is nice and lean. But if banana was all they were serving, I'd certainly consider it as an alternative to suicide.

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire


September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

Wendy - Pierogi is the plural of pierog...but who in their right mind would eat just one? That's why you never hear the word pierog. This is America so we put an "s" on the end of everything. God Bless America and its wrecked cakes...made of pierogi OR NOT!!!

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

They really should have stuck with white pearls around the layers of Keisha's cake. The black ones look like hare droppings ...

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiA

That pierogi cake looks... strange at least, and the description doesn't help ;)

that being said, my favorite pierogi stuffing is ground meat... or meat and cabbage ... or kiełbasa... or mushrooms... or strawberries :D

Also, as a Polish girl, I wanted to say, that "Pierogi" is already plural, so we don't have to make it more plural than that ;) (the singular verb is: pieróg, because we HAVE TO add strange Polish letters to most of the words ;) )

September 25, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermadziaro

Bakers are taking gender reveal cakes to wierd places these days.

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

Well they seem to make wedding cakes out of anything these days lol. And now I can't unsee the baby "booties". Oh man I need the brain bleach again lol.

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I have never heard of either food quoted in the last example, but they sound...interesting.....

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I use the "correct" punctuation. The ? goes outside the parentheses. I am American and was taught that way.

Now I can't get the notion of Vulcan baby penises or adult ones, for that matter, out of my head. Thanks, Julie!

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterladypatg

1) Cake wreck: What a horrible, horrible thing to do to pierogi! Even the plum dessert pierogi my grandma would occasionally make (typically her pierogi were sauerkraut, with just a little potato to tone down the sourness -- now I miss her all over again!) would not have made a suitable cake. Cake is cake! Pierogi are not cake!

2) Punctuation wreck: American editor/proofreader here -- Not sure which stylebook thoJ is using, but the style I've always learned (and followed) is that commas and periods go inside the quotes regardless, but question marks and exclamation points go inside or outside depending on whether or not they are part of the quote.

3) Geek wreck: Wesley = TNG; Westley = TPB (I can't believe I'm the only one nitpicky enough to have noticed! OTOH, whatever goes through Jen's head is what goes through Jen's head, no matter the spelling!)

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie J

@Stephanie J: I always thought it was Westley, but assumed I was mistaken. After your post, I had to look it up. It is indeed Westley. Spell check does not like that spelling, though.

Regarding the Punctuation Kerfuffle of 2015: I don't recall how I was taught to do it, but it always made sense to me to do it with the punctuation on the outside of the quotation marks unless it was a question mark or exclamation mark included with the quote. I guess I should have been born in Britain.

And now that I've said, " it..." so much, I need a Schwarzenegger quote: "Come on! Do it! Do it now!".

Oops, that was not good paired with the Vulcan genitalia discussed in previous posts...

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

As an adopted Pittsburgher, pierogis are almost a religion (well, at least they race at Pirate's baseball games, so pretty close). The thought of banana-filled, iced pierogis is just wrong and against the bible and all that is holy.

And according to my bible, the "Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association," section 4.08:
"Place periods and commas within closing single or double quotation marks. Place other punctuation marks inside quotation marks only when they are part of the quoted material." (p.92)

So I agree with Stephanie J and Jenny. The APA Manual section on pierogis is a bit murkier, though--can't give you the exact citation.

Now back to grading papers . . .

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

That ribbon isn't actually ribbon, is it? Looks the cloud printed edible paper....

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBelblue

Why in the world would someone in their right (or left) mind think that making a dessert - much less a wedding 'cake' - out of FROSTED PIEROGIES would be a good thing to do?!?

September 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Ah, yes. The "pink propeller" sexy dance.


September 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

@Jenny, pshaw! The American way is totally the correct one. Mainly because that's how I've always done it. ;D

Also, that clown cake. THAT CLOWN CAKE. Had to cover my mouth with both hands so I wouldn't wake up my sister in the next room with my guffawing.

September 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

When you say those are baby booties, do you mean shoes or butts?

September 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterInt

@Alice Shortcake: Your comment made me giggle like a deranged hyena. Again, since Jen's comment on the cake did too.

October 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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