My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

With This Wreck, I Thee Wed

It seems I never fail to underestimate your insatiable desire for wedding wreckage. And sprinkles. You guys always want sprinkles.

Two birds? Meet your stone:



Not crumby enough for you? Try this:

Because naked wedding cakes have more Funfetti.


"Ooh, you guys, I've got it! Ok, picture this: we have the happy couple, in their wedding finery, scaling a giant turd. Eh? EH?!"

Bam. Nailed it.


"People, I know we can fit a few more pieces of plastic on here! WE JUST AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."

"Barb, you fetch the curling ribbon while Sam and I open another bag of aquarium greenery. Move, move, move!"


We all know there's a lot of crying at weddings. Fortunately, this couple decided to put all the used tissues to good use:

You might think it's icing holding all those together, but I'm here to tell you: it's not.


Thanks to Heather B., Sarah L., Brittany P., Lesley W., & Danielle N. for the tear-jerkers.


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Reader Comments (56)

Frosting and sprinkles and stuff made of plastic
Giant turd mountains, now aint that fantastic
Crumpled up tissues that rise up like wings
These are a few of my favorite things

That's funfetti, not confetti.
Guess the frosting's bad
I simply cant look at these terrible cakes
Without feeling really sad

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

Jen, you're hilarious. The Last one "icing not holding it together, it'snot. " omg, LMAO. There went my tea out my nose. Oh wait, that'snot tea.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

That last cake? Ewww. That's just snot funny.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

"... but I'm here to tell you it's not" Hahahahaha
Loved the captions with the undersea greenery and flotsum cake, too Jen.
That 'naked' cake -- even without the - what are they, crumbled cake? - layers, that is just wrong. No.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Wow. Just. Wow.

Who on earth orders SPRINKLES on a wedding cake??????

I am convinced the blue monstrosity was someone's well meaning aunt saying, "Oh honey, don't go spending a lot on that fancy cake. I can do it just as purty for a lot cheaper.":

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

The second one is trying to look like a momofuku milk bar birthday cake I think.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

I'm pretty sure the second cake is a Milk Bar Birthday Cake cake. I'm sure many of us can agree that bad lighting and bad angles don't do us any favors when we're naked.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

How do bakers get away with calling themselves pros with horrible works such as that?!?!?!?!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

How many brides are there on the plastic covered cake?

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

The blue one with all the plastic things... I count at least 3 bride figures... Is the groom marring them all??? And the Cinderella figurines, whoa just noticed the multi-colored globe like things... Wha?? Huh? talk about a big ole mess...

As for tissue cake... um yea I have no words...unless they were trying to match the brides dress.... then the bride has bigger issues.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPenny M.

So does Ariel know that Cinderella is marrying Eric? Or did she dump him first? And where's Prince Charming? Did he & Ariel get together? This cake is like a Disney soap opera.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@ Penny M. : Or bigger tissues?

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

Wow. Had never heard of a Milk Bar cake. Just googled it &, wow. But, yeah, that's look to be what they were going for.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKA

My question about the Cinderella cake is this: how many more Cinderellas/Briderellas are stuffed inside that magical pumpkin carriage? Are they all going to burst forth in a never-ending stream like clowns from a tiny car?!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

It's funny you said the blue cake had too much stuff, because that was my first thought about the sprinkles wedding cake. The more I look, the more there are. It took some staring to find the chocolate sprinkles among the flower explosion on the middle and lower tiers, but there they are. This is clearly a wedding party of the more is more persuasion.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

What kind of weddings are these?????!!!!

Some of these cakes would pair nicely with "My Ginormous Gypsy Wedding " Don'tcha think? You know, where the bride's dress is in direct competition w/the CAKE??!!!

Holy moley Batman - these cakes are BEYOND description! LMAO. Nailed it again Jen. Too funny.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

The first cake reminds me of all the times Tim Gunn tells people to "edit thoughtfully" on Project Runway. If you pulled half the crap off that cake, it would be fine.

On the third cake: I get that they're trying to climb a miuntain. But what is the little guy doing in the sign on the top? Is he warning them not to climb/rappel? Swinging through the jungle like Tarzan? Inquiring minds want to know!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

My three year old looked at the first one and said, "that's a pretty cake! I wish we could make that." I don't think I could if I tried, babe...

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKate

No sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterothy

That last cake is just a hair off really pretty, though. If they'd made the (what I think are) roses in a tinted fondant instead of pure white we might be raving about it positively.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCatlinye

What are the two figures camouflaged by the sprinkles on top of cake #1? One looks like a green origami crane. But what is the little red thing with its arms up in the air? Been watching too much Dr. Who lately. All I can see is Bannakaffalatta doing the Who dance.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

If I get married I think I'll make it easy on everyone by skipping the cake, and have a giant bottle of single malt Wedding Scotch. I'll even include a peated variety as an alternative for the gluten/sugar/everything free crowd.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEohippus

If that were indeed a Milk Bar cake it would cost $700 and it wouldn't look any better. It's possible it would be a bit tastier, but it would look just as...good (?).
If the blue, plastic princess, abundant greenery, blissful net-encrusted doves, wedding cake were a Milk Bar cake, Momofuku would be out of business.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is it bad that as soon as I read the title, I thought, "Oh, Goody!"?

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Not a Wreck Replay Wednesday, but on a Tuesday... Hmm...

I hope everything is OK with our Most High Goddess of Snark and Sprinkles, and jthoj/John PopMaker!

[Editor's note- We had a really funny post for today but it was another literal and we just did one yesterday. So we moved that to tomorrow. Sorry for the confusion. My scheduling snafu. -john (thoJ)]

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

That lst one strikes me as a near mis. If it had just been executes a LITTLE differently, it could have come out like a fantastical fairy dream.... but it didn't. It was just *THIS* close though.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertgriff02

I don't know if I would blame the baker on the last one. I can just hear the baker saying, 'You want what? Are you sure? Okay, you asked for it."

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNathan

Imagine how mad those bees are going to be when they find out their hive has been covered in poo and there's two tiny people climbing it.... Very odd choice of biological warfare.

Also it's nice to see Cousin It's wedding dress in the last one. I would have thought he'd be wearing a tux but to each his/its own!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

OMG... that chocolate sprinkly cake was a triple tier?! I was blinded by the sprinkles and flowers, and never even noticed the rest of the cake >.< lol If it hadn;t been for AngelaS's comment, I never would've gone back to see what she meant and seen that there was a whole lot more wreckage to that cake!

And I started to count the Cinderella's on that blue monstrosity... until I noticed that the groom bore an uncanny resemblance to Eric, then I started wondering how many other Disney peeps they were hiding on that cake and decided to just give up >.< lol

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

I just love aquarium plants on wedding cakes.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

In defense of the naked cake surrounded by the crumbs, I think that's a clever cover for what is really a stupid concept (the whole naked cake trend is just absurd). Granted, they might have gotten a little carried away with the crumbs but it covered up the uneven rough edges of the cakes stacked on top of each other, the parts which would have normally been hidden by frosting.
Now that aquarium greenery, well, ummmmm, I'm stymied!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSophia

I would totally have wanted that Cinderella cake for my dream wedding - when I was seven!
I would totally want that sprinkles cake now - if they hadn't ruined it with all of those flowers!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

I look at that blue cake and all I can think is the blue teeth, lips and gums in the wedding pictures.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJilly

BWAHAHAHAHA!! "You may think it's icing, but it'snot"!!

Reminds me of a greeting card I read once:

Don't kiss your honey
When your nose is runny;
You may think it's funny,
But it'snot.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

That symbol on the top of the brown ...cake... looks like one of the 'attribute' symbols used at to denote a geocache that requires rock-climbing to find.

The execution of the idea leaves a bit to be desired.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Raider

In what world do people think an unfrosted cake is a good idea?! It looks unfinished. Why skimp on the frosting? How is this a trend? I just...I have no words. It defies comprehension. I had no idea what a Milk Bar cake even was, so I looked it up. Yeah...these need to go away.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I love/hate these. They are so amusing, and horrifying; but then I think about the poor brides. Still, I must admit, when I saw the Blue Monster cake, I couldn't help but think, "What, no sparklers?!"

Jen, I think you made a typo on the last one. I'm pretty sure you meant to say the following:

"You might think it's icing holding all those together, but I'm here to tell you: it's snot." *snicker*

I'm not sure why those tissue deals are so popular, I find them exceedingly weird. That said, I think the last cake was probably executed exactly as the bride wished ... sheesh!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Am I the only one who finds the last one pretty or do I need an eye exam?

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPris

On the last cake you're supposed to say "It's snot"

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRage

Perhaps it is a total lack of sleep, but I like the last cake. Assuming that is all icing. Icing is good.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

I think kids would love all the icing on the last cake. They'd be on a super sugar high for a week

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLikelyasnot

Y'know, that nekkid cake is bad enough on its own, but it looks as if the largest layers have been cut (hacked?) from maybe a square cake.

Or something.

And I would NEVER present a bride with a box cake for her wedding.

I need to keep the Blue Barbie cake out of sight. I'm doing a wedding for a young lady who is 26, going on 10. She would, I think, actually ask me to make that for her. She wants me to make her a three tier cake for her wedding. For ten to forty people. Pray for me!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

On that last cake....I don't think they even tried...shameful....

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakeladyofmc

Jungle Cruise ride reference FTW! Loved it, Jen!

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSara A.

@Lady Anne - that's exactly what I thought too - they've made bigger cakes and filled them, then cut out round cakes from them. Badly.

I have seen a couple of lovely naked cakes - usually along the lines of a Victoria sponge filled with cream and immaculate fresh berries and then taken up a notch. But in a general sense, no. Just no.

Semi-naked cakes are even uglier than naked ones but kudos to whoever decided to market/sell a cake with just the crumb coat and probably charge MORE for it.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnne W

Sprinkles. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I wonder if anyone could find the cake under all those sprinkles. Assuming there weren't more sprinkles stuffed inside it lol.

September 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

That's a might long... rope... he's holding onto there.

September 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

The Giant Turd cake really needs some of those plastic ants that were so popular a few years ago.

September 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

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