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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

8 Hilarious Wrecks Bakers Want Us To Believe Are Football Helmets

I'll be the first to admit that a football helmet is not the easiest thing to draw:

It's all round and confusing and stuff.



But still.


Really, bakers?




If you had no context, tell me you wouldn't think this was a cheese grater:


And this was a happy whale:


Here's a couch in front of a window:


And a, uh...

...demonic hacky sack?


Eesh, how sad is it when this is the best one?


If only bakers had a helmet shaped PAN, you know? Something that locks them into the right shape, so they absolutely, positively, could NOT mess it...



Thanks to Bruce B., Manda, Matt M., Anony M., Brielle R., Kristin N., Heather F., Rachel K., & Anna E. for finding a reason I might actually need a helmet. (Or possibly a padded desk.)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Friday Favs 9/18/15 | Main | SPAAACE!!! »

Reader Comments (43)

A cheese grader! If only my teachers had given out cheese instead of bad grades... (sorry, couldn't help it. I'll go stand in my corner now.)

These are some of the worst wrecks I've ever seen, and that's really saying something. That first one looks like a drunk zombie.

[Editor's note- Bwoops. It's my job to catch those mistakes. Of course I also overslept today and woke up to 2 emails and 22 comments telling me about it. So, thanks everybody for letting me know. You guys are grate. -john (the bad spell checker for Jen)]

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

The seventh wreck down is a Borg badger climbing out of its sett on a dark night with flames behind it. I'm surprised you didn't realize, Jen.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMuml

You cannot make a CCC (ptooie!) look like a football helmet. Not gonna happen. Please (PLEASE) bakers. Stop trying.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I'm very surprised at how many of the cakes are Broncos cakes and yet I've never seen any in person.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Congradulations [sic], Jen.
You've completely crossed over and become one!
A cheese grader?

Is that a student in the year between 6th and 7th grades?
Or like on the Cheez-it commercials, the person who determines if the cheese is ready to become a cracker?

Keep up the hilarious work!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTominÇhicago

Now they're just messing with us...

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Most of them look like alien heads.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

I think the "cheese grater" looks like the shape and color of a bathroom hand dryer. Super appetizing!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterscout

Yeesh! The first and last ones resemble death's heads. The rest - your guess is as good as mine. (What's a cheese grader?)

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

All My Wrecky Friends Are Coming Over Tonight

I got evil chompin’ monsters, a thing to grate cheese
Jen, it’s hard to see a helmet in these
I got whales that are cute, I got a nice couch
Looking at these things make my eyes say, “ouch”
I think the seafoam igloo looks cozy - am I right?
All my wrecky friends are coming over tonight

I find the lyrics to the original a bit misogynistic, but I used it anyway. Does that make me a bad person?

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

If it wasn't for the plastic footballs and the roman numerals, I'd have thought the "best" one was a spider flinging a web while surfing a tidal wave.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersue

Is the last one Barneys evil green brother?

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpammy

The problem with most of these wrecks is that they're arranging cupcakes into clusters that are SUPPOSED TO kinda sorta vaguely resemble something other than the cupcakes they actually are. As they say on Mythbusters, "well, there's your problem right there!".

The rest were obviously drawn/decorated/wrecked by someone with no concept of what a helmet is supposed to look like.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

WTF that is the worst use for ccc's ever

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

All I know is that I wouldn't want to see that second one coming at me in Mario Kart.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

Demonic hacky sack! Bwahahaha!

(That one could almost NOT be a Wreck if you've ever gone past the Denver airport and seen Blucifer...)

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

I'm not sure why it would be so bad to sell a group of cupcakes decorated as a group of cupcakes.

Also not sure when Gary Busey was reincarnated as a whale.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Don't you know anything? The "couch" is obviously a recliner chair. Can't you see the black dot for the recliner handle? :)

I'm sort of OK with the last one. I think they on-purpose used a helmet pan to make a zombie cake. They were way more successful in making it look like a zombie than anyone was in making it look like a helmet, at any rate.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Happy whale? I saw flamingo headstand! And the cheese grater? An aborted attempt at yin-yang. I love playing this game every day! Thanks wreckerators! Keep up the hysterically awful work!
p.s. Pray for me- as mother of the bride, I'm ordering THE cake tomorrow. I've approached major surgery with less dread of an unfavorable outcome.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

@s.marie: good luck! What's the worst that can happen? Oh, wait...

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMuml

Bwah! Jen made my day, as usual.

I didn't think the second one was actually that bad. The "Bronco" on the third one, however, looks like a delinquent hand puppet with a mohawk!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The third one from the bottom is totally a polar bear, and he is furious for being mistaken for a helmet! Behind him is of course the night sky, complete with Nordic lights.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMalin

Hmm, I like the second one. It's neatly made and attractively colored. Of course it resembles the hood of a fifties' car or some new sort of diving helmet far more than a football helmet, but I'd buy it just as a pretty objet d'art. If we did make teams play in helmets like that one the game would be different. Lack of peripheral vision would make the quarterback highly vulnerable.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMark in SF

Well I'm glad to see that the Grinch loves to celebrate Halloween. It's great to see him expanding his interests to something other then stealing Christmas.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Anyone who'd pay $11 for a giant cookie deserves all the wreckin' they get.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I think the cheese grater looks more like a bottle opener. And you have to admit, that last one makes a better Halloween monster head than any of the others make football helmets. I did find it amusing that the pan not only is vaguely helmet shaped, but the lid even has impressed details in case the wreckorators need a guide.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermagicdomino

Hey-- no fair! Just because I'm on the west coast I don't get to make fun of the cheese grader?
But now that you brie-ng it up, that last one is a pretty good münster!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Both the reddish curved cakes looked like flamingos with muzzles to me.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

I'm not really into football or sports.... could someone tell me what team the flaming polar bear and the T-rex are on? Because that game actually sounds interesting. I lost all sense of what anything was after the cake that looks like a half of a decapitated ying yang... Props!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

The more of these cakes I see the more glad I am I don't eat cake.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpickles

I use the formed helmet pan. It makes it easy not to mess it up. At least for me!

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The first one would be good for a Dia de los Muertos celebration.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

The first wreck at first glance appeared to a tape dispenser. I then looked at it again and decided that it looked like a monster's head from Scooby Doo. The second a second rate, cheap, knock-off Dallas Cowboys licensed cat house.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBessie

They came full circle. The first one looks like a weird skull they tried to turn into a helmet and the last one is a helmet they tried to turn into a weird skull.

September 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessicaT

Oh man. Hilarious that not one wreckerator even came close to a helmet. I wonder if they have even seen one before. These have me laughing so hard..

September 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Words from the 4-year old: the last one is a One-eyed Lizard. With centipedes and ants crawling on it.

September 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAA

If you turn the "cheese grater" upside down, it's a dismayed pac-man.

September 18, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbionelly

That last green is supposed to be an alien/monster head.

September 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

I don't see a cheese grater, but I think they did a pretty good job if it was supposed to look like one of those clear tape dispensers.

September 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAT

That yellow one is a roll of tape. Can't unsee it.

September 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLol

The last one's a green skull guy, smiling and saying, "Hey-yee!"

September 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commentergreen skull guy

Oh, guys, stop hating on the poor Gorn.

September 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKatey

The "happy whale" has been reviewed by our kids and they 'know' that it is a road kill platypus. But not Perry.

September 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterharry's cuz

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