My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sound Off

When bakers choose to wreck for a spell:

I like the slightly exasperated tone: "Well, come back."


Heck yeah - and I'll take A BIG ONE, pls.


Funnily enough, if you sound it out this kind of works:

Bay-B? Eh?


I like to use the made-up word "embiggen" sometimes - it's just fun and silly, like "adorkable" or grown women wearing rompers. So needless to say, this made me grin:

"In the bigening, there were no rompers, high-waisted jeans, or ironically ginormous glasses. And it was good."


Ok, wreckies, let's see if you can figure out this one on your own:



Rittens = rampaging kittens, right?

("Possible side effects include sneezing, tiny scratches, and erectile dysfunction.")


And finally:

Hear, hear!


Thanks to Becky B., Cricket C., Chelsey C., Lauren L., Jack B., Lola B., & M.N. for sounding off.


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Reader Comments (31)

Those were fun and entertaining, Bay-b

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I'm sorry, but bakeries have just got to stop hiring Grade 3 drop-outs.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

#2 was obviously for a quilter.
Glad they have good "rittens", whatever they may be. Can you imagine what would happen if they went sour?
I wonder what "you and audios" did to deserve such wrecky thanks.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

I would like to know what dangerous job the person has who is being congratulated for not dying...

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

My guess is the fifth one was supposed to be something like "Congrats on not dying for another year". Which is still a bit... off. Who goes to a birthday party and says "Hey, Grandma, you didn't kick the bucket yet! Good for you!!!"

Can't sit down for cake with Grandma's foot in your rear. Just sayin'...

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

A noble spirit embiggens the wreckiest cake.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

And I choose to believe (perhaps erroneously) that my end is not a new, or any kind of a, bigening.

Goodbye, Jon Stewart. We'll miss you.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

These actually make me weep for humanity.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Again for them SPELLCHECK!!!! Bay-b!

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Aaaaaaand now I have the "Welcome Back Kotter" theme swirling around in my head. Thanks a lot well comers!

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Tell you why the recipient of Cake no.1 was on his way out. He spotted that the baker had sneezed over the cake, wiped some (but not all) of the resulting mess off,wrote on it any old how, then stuck on an iced whoopie pie and sprayed icing around to try to improve matters.

Doesn't your heart bleed for whoever iced the decorations on that last cake, before the person with the purple icing bag got their hands on it?

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I am soooo confused. Dying? Doing? These wreckorators (wreckeraters?) are reading lolcats too much! Jen, is it possible to mithspell a made-up word?

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

The first one is just dying for a little Southern touch. "Well, come back, y'all." Except I would be afraid of what a wreckerator might do with "y'all" ...

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJules

If you sound it out, THIS sort of works, too : R theez rekkoratorz higherd strate owt uv kindergardin?
Hey! Know what'd be fun? Post the wrecks with the lights OFF! Then, we'd have to try to FEEL how bad they look. Although...I can't really see that working. =^-.-^=

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Those make me despair for this country.

But actually, "embiggen" is a real word from Shakespeare's time.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDana

If you sound it out, THIS sort of works, too : R theez rekkoratorz higherd strate owt uv kindergardin?
Hey! Know what'd be fun? Post the wrecks with the lights OFF! Then, we'd have to try to FEEL how bad they look. Although...I can't really see that working. =^-.-^=

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It's "good riddance" -- to badly spelled cakes, I presume.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbuzzy

I don't know why people don't use embiggen. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCharlieCT

OMG! In between wiping the tears from my eyes I've got to agree with Nagzilla - OH THE HUMANITY! And with Valarie too - Doing ? Dying? Would someone actually put on a cake "Congrats!" for "not dying"? Anything is possible I suppose. And the "rittens" and "Audios" OMG! STOP! I'm laughing WAY too hard!

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

I admit, I do address (in emails and letters) my sweetie as "Bay-Bee" some times...but not usually in public and I would probably not do it on a cake...but her birthday is soon, so that may change... LOL!

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Paging Dr. Dorian! Scrubs FTW!! That Mrs. Wilk episode gets me every time.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"Every End is a N[o]w Bigening"

Are you saying I've got a fat bottom?

We make the rockin' world go 'round, you know.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

In the UK, "ginormous" is spelled "ginourmous."

True story.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Well, come back
To that same old wreck
That you cringed about

Well, come back
'Cause every end is
A New Bigening now

Well, the cakes
Have all changed
Since the bayb shower.
Congrats on not
Dien another year.

Who’d have thought
We’d need to
(Who’d have thought
We’d need to)
Spellcheck “Peace be with you?”
(Spellcheck “Peace be with you?”)

Yeah, they wreck them a lot.
Good Rittens to the sot
Well, come back

Well, come back
Well, come back
Well, come back

Audios has left the building!

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

The number two comes in Springfield, Glock, or Ruger, and, yes, we do give S&W green stamps.

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

YES!!!!! Rittens should = rampaging kittens!!! it reminds me of a metal song I wrote once about kitten rage!
and more yes for the Scrubs reference!! that was the single most geniously hilarious moment of that entire series for me. I think it was the only time it ever made me belly laugh for five minutes straight, and there were tears running down my face. . . it was fantastic :)

August 6, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJess W.

Oh boy. I guessed the cake was a congrats to not dying another year but what on earth would possess them to have that on a birthday cake? Lol. Wow just wow.

August 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I read that cake as "Babe." "Bayb."

August 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah T

Re not dying (or should that be "dien"): One of my favourite birthday songs (for people who don't take themselves too seriously) is this one by The Arrogant Worms:

It contains the line, "Happy Birthday, you did not accomplish much, but you didn't die this year, I guess that's good enough"

And, rather apropos for Cake Wrecks, the penultimate line is: "But your friends are hungry so just cut the stupid cake"

August 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheo Bromine

Miss Paper, I just recently "celebrated" my 18 year anniversary of my type one diabetes diagnosis, and I really wanted a cake that said "Congrats on Not Dying" (btw, that's not my cake up there). Maybe they're celebrating still being alive whilst dealing with a potentially life-threatening illness? At least, that's why I would want that inscription on a cake :-D

August 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I hope #4 ends up in the next Ms. Marvel.

August 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTalkingbeast

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