My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Win With Civility

Did you know August is National 'Win with Civility' Month? It's true; the internets told me so.

And since we could all use a reminder from time to time that "polite is always right," I've prepared a few handy tips.

Civility Tip #1 - Always precede a negative comment with a positive one:


Civility Tip #2 - Practice an attitude of gratitude:

And maybe your spelling.


Civility Tip #3 - Instead of rudely pointing out the birthday girl's faults, try focusing on her accomplishments:


Or, if s/he has no accomplishments to speak of, then try complimenting a physical feature.

There! See how easy it is to be polite?


Now, you try!

Ok, well, that's not so much a compliment as it is a reminder of old age - which is never polite.


Why not try opening up, instead? You know, tell her how you really feel?

Well, while I applaud your honesty, that's...not very positive.


Ok, new tactic: Is there anything you can congratulate her on? Something worth complimenting?

Ah, much better.

So remember, kids: polite is always right, and successfully kicking narcotics calls for frosted cheesecake.

Don't ask me why; it just does.


Thanks to Wreckporters Whitney M., Birdy, Susan K., Heather R., Andrea F., Gina G., & Janet S., who, for the record, have never had frosted cheesecake.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (30)

So is this where I order my "You are tolerable" cakes? Although, I'd like mine without the period stain, please.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Your blog is interesting, educational and humorous.
Thank you for inventing it.
Have a lovely day.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Last cake was for Robert Downey junior :P. I wish I knew the back story on these cakes

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I don't know. That rainbow cake isn't handsome enough to tempt me.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

I think the "You are Tolerable" is a reference to Pride and Prejudice when Darcy told Bingley that "She [Elizabeth] is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me".

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAustenFan

You have to wonder what kind of history a family has when their 16 year old's lack of jail time is considered an achievement worth lauding on cake.

It looks like the poo-stripes from yesterday's mutant giraffe have migrated to today's 60th birthday cake...perhaps they're actually some sort of leeches that feed on sugar-frosting and despair?

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I wonder if the cheesecake is rum flavored

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGrrly Girl

When I was sixteen, another sixteen-year-old girl informed me that prominent clavicles were a sign of beauty, and then asked me where mine were. She deserved one of these cakes - but not the one about the clavicles, because she would have taken that as a compliment. (The cow.)

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

Let's see...civility...hmmm...

OK, I've got it:

At least the handwriting on #1, #3, and the recovery cheesecake is nice.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

"6o, huh? Wow, that's great. You, uh...well, hey, I bet you qualify for all those senior discounts now, right?"


"Yep. Those discounts can really add up. (sigh) Yeah. So, hey, um, have you seen my leeches? I set them down, and those little suckers just wandered off! They're, uh, about yea long, dark reddish brown - almost black until you look real close. There should be about 10 of them. No? Well, just give a holler if you see them, ok? And, ah, happy birthday, sorry to interrupt your party there."

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

I didn't know it was "Win with Civility Month!" I'm a civil law attorney, so I shall try to work that into any and all court cases this month!!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I find myself needing to know the conversation that resulted in the "Lovely Clavicles" cake...well, I spelled it KNOW what I mean!!! LOL

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Clavicals? Really? In honor of Civility Month, why not spread some praise to other, less well known, but equally romantical, body parts?

Ode To The Platysmas

There below the chin it rests,
Clavicals shield from heaving breast,
More elegant in sweep than the aSs,
Lies the sultry Platysmas.

Adorned in diamonds, rubies, and jewels,
Its a word not often taught in schools,
Frosted, perfumed, held like a chalice
Is the fantastical, romantical Platysmas.

Patellas help the pentecostal,
Coccyx seems overly scatalogical,
Glabella to desk when viewing these wrecks,
Because nothing compares to Platysmas!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

I do recall a nice clavicles comment in the first season of True Blood - so it has been stated out loud before - though probably never on cake until now!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLori T.

@Persephone, I also had someone comment on my "nice clavicles" when I was in school. Maybe that was some sort of weird gang initiation. Either way, at least we know how to spell clavicles correctly. Oh, and the correct response to "where are yours" would have been "they're hidden by my enormous boobs," then ask where her boobs were.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

On the senior citizen discount one, those black... decorations... look like leeches. Yikes!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I hope Whitney was in the hospital or something. (That came out wrong.) The handwriting on that cake is gorgeous, at least.

As for the Austen theory on the "tolerable" cake... that would be cute, but doesn't explain the tie-dye.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAustex99

Persephone -- if you look at old paintings you will see that women apparently didn't have clavicles till the 20th century, not even in the Middle Ages when everyone was very thin. Unsure how this happened, but it's easy for common prejudice to edit out physical features. A few years ago a British maker of mannequins for shop windows found his goods unsaleable in the Unites States because they had a slight suggestion of nipples, features of which Americans seem peculiarly afraid.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

Clavicles?? Really?? I think if I got that cake the conversations I'd have afterwards with friends would be like, "Yeah, so I got a cake today... I'm fairly certain it's from a serial killer. Who sent it? Oh remember that guy I have been calling Lovely Bones? That nickname is NEVER going to go away." The reply might be something like, "Dude! I am NOT a serial killer! Look at my never-been-jailed sweet 16 cake!"

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Not actually a wreck, because it was the customer's error and not the bakery's error, but here's a cute cake and someone mentioned you in the comments: Blind Cake

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I, for one, think that successfully kicking a seriously addicting drug is definitely cause for celebration.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDale

@Jackwire - That deserves a very polite slow-clap. Impressive! =-)

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@Tachybaptus: We may not be that far removed from the Middle Ages. A high school girl in Kentucky was recently sent home from school for violating the dress code. Her offense: wearing a scoop neck shirt that revealed-- yes, you guessed it-- her clavicles.

@Seabird: A slow clap will be fine, since I can't read very fast anyway.

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Those black stripes on the 60th cake just won't stop making me think of the black alien goo from the X-Files ...

August 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElka

Why does the third cake look like a slice of cantaloupe? Is it just me?



August 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

Apparently, there is a school in Kentucky where they have been sending girls home with dress code violations due to their shirt necklines exposing their clavicles.

I'm not lying. It was in the news yesterday. I had hoped it was The Onion, but it was real, legitimate news sources.

August 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Lol oh geeze. These are just priceless especially the Happy Birthday we aren't glad you are here lol. Wow.

August 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

How very appropriate that I see this today, lol! I gave my son THE TALK yesterday, and it went so well, I was very proud of myself at work today... This morning I thought, "This deserves cake!" Seriously.... I wanted a "Great Job Giving THE TALK, Mom!" cake. That's not too much to ask, right? :)

August 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I hope that is some sort of pureed cherry sauce on that cheesecake--the thought alone is making my mouth water.

A slow clap from this quarter as well for Jackwire. Bravo! Encore! *flings rose*

I thought clavicles were among people. I thought that the prominence of one's clavicles had much more to do with whether they were concealed by body fat or by (supported) large tracts. Hence, during historical time frames when Rubenesque women were idealized, the clavicles would be de-emphasized or omitted in art, while in today's society, with it's emphasis on skeletal proportions, they would be a "sign of beauty." (And I have a sister who is so beautiful that it's not safe to hug her--unless you wish to be impaled by said clavicles.)

August 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

The "Happy Birthday Whitney" script is really very well done. Too bad it's rendered in what appears to be traffic cone orange...

August 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjac

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