My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs, 7/24/15

A few of my favorite new submissions this week.


Could we pause for a moment to appreciate the fact that someone was PAID to do this?

Paid. Actual money. Like, it's their JOB... to do that.




Sure, you might think the baker would know better:

But let's face it, anyone who claims that's a hockey stick (with a white puck, natch) has already lost touch with reality. Maybe she figured you were washing your little white hockey balls.



"So you want 'Happy Birthday, Matthew?'"

"Yes, but it's 'Mathew' with one T."

"Got it!"



Technically correct, but I still say the deli sticker guy needs an intervention:



Granted, not all bakeries are familiar with Bastille Day, the French National Day celebrated every July 14th. After all, it's a French thing.

Er, I did mention it was French, right?

Ok, good.

You can look now:

Best. Deal. Evahhhh.


Thanks to Cait H., Bridgett B., Heather J., Lisa B., & Nancy E. for pardoning our French.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Southwestern Sweets | Main | I Can See Clearly Now... And... EW »

Reader Comments (46)

Maybe they got the last cake for free.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I prefer my watermelons boned...

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Field hockey, dear heart! Field hockey!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBob Scrivens

If you squint and tilt your head to the side til your ear is on your shoulder, you can almost make #1 look like a bad interpretation of the shape of the United States. You know, because we moved Texas to the bottom of California. And those white stars obviously represent random cities where the giant duckies have been seen.

No idea what "sport" that second one was supposed to be. Gockey? Which, of course, is the national sport of the aforementioned rearranged US.

So now Mathew has two spare Ts. Perhaps they will be useful when he plays gockey with his pals.

Boneless, but not seedless. Interesting choice.

The only reason it could be called the Best Deal would be if it were not full price. From a "French Gourmet" bakery, no less. Oh the irony. It burns!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoira

My birthday is July 14th. From now on I'm going to order a Best Deal cake for my birthday!!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

"Boneless Watermelon"?!? Oy.....FYI that sticker is not from the Service Deli but from the Meat Department and I should know since I work for a major supermarket chain here. Possibly the person at the Meat Department must of been bored and decided to gets some "yuks" by placing the "boneless" sticker on the watermelon.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Are the Canadian ducks invading the United States? Because the blue part totally looks like a really bad attempt at the continental U.S. I guess if we're talking about Canada GEESE, that might make sense, because they're everywhere. Or is this a hockey thing--maybe a team called the ducks is invading?

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Can't decide if cake #1 is supposed to be a map of the USA, a misshaped bovine or perhaps a bus, my mind just can't comprehend such abstract symbolism.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnonyMe

I would give the sticker guy a pass if they were out of "seedless" stickers, but it obviously isn't.
(Anyone else remember the days of video stores switching over to DVDs, and finding "Please Rewind" stickers on the DVD cases? No? Well, there was a day when you had to visit bakeries all over town to see a selection of wrecks like this. And pedal your car with your feet. Now get off my lawn.)

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Ah, the annual migration of the rubber duckies from Canada is starting early this year.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVelvita

I'm terrified that I would ever find bones in my watermelons, though.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

Could it be field hockey, rather than ice hockey? That uses a white ball, I believe.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandra

Cake #2 is not for regular hockey, it's for field hockey, which uses a white ball instead of a puck.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKymster

My brain hurts after that last one.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFontLady

Here's something interesting(!!):The presumed-until-innocent map of the USA is actually....>TA-DAH< ~drum roll~A BATHTUB.
You know, as in,"Rubber Ducky, you're the one..."? {Quack you...quack you verymuch.}

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Does anyone else now want to go to the local grocery store, and peel the 'bonless' stickers off the meat and sneak over to the produce and put them on the watermelon? Wait, why stop there, they could sell boneless oranges, boneless grapes too! Anyone want to join me? No, it's just me then that's a brat. I can't help it... it's a fun side effect of being a Cakewreckaholic. :)

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercookiemama

"Best Washes"??

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

The second cake makes me want to start hurling.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

I like to think that last cake was in preparation for Amazon's "Prime Day" that was on the 15th... which was such a fail that the cake is now a wreck.

.....No? Just me? Okay then.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentershleelee

Allons enfants de la Best deeeaaaaal , le jour de gloire eeeeeest arrivé! XD

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSkylan

Thank you sendingtheclowns -- I just went "OOOOOOOOHHHH!" And the white blobs must be suds or bubbles. And isn't field hockey usually played on GREEN grass with field hockey sticks, not big blue check marks with pink edges? And wildmaven, my BFF's bday is also July 14, and guess who will also be getting a Best Deal cake next year?!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBGooby

Actually the last cake (Happy Best Deal Day) was supposed to be reserved for the next day, which was when Amazon had their 'even better than Black Friday' deals for Prime members. A lot of them would contend that the deals were as wrecky as this cake.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

"Best Deal Day" -- the hilarity, it burns!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I can buy into sendingtheclowns idea of a bathtub for the first one. I have a clawfoot bathtub in my house, and it's even blue. But the feet are gold, not green. Can't imagine why anyone would paint their tub feet green. And I have no explanation whatsoever for the white splotches on the walls of the tub. Maybe that's the bubble bath overflowing the sides?

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

These made me giggle. "Best Deal Day" had me laughing out loud. "Best Misinterpretation of a Request" nominee for 2015!

PS - Maybe the first one is someone's interpretation of what the US would look like if Texas succeeded in seceding and Mexico gave up Baja California? I can't explain the ducks, though.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

A French bakery cannot spell Bastille.... sigh....

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjune7

Technically, the French would call it the FĂȘte Nationale " or national holiday, but I like best deal day better. Matthew with 1-T, uh, isn't it written out how the name is spelled?

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Kudos to lisadh for using the words "... succeeded in seceding ...", try saying that three times in a row.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnonyMe

The top one looks like the US is being invaded by giant rubber ducks from Canada. (Canaducks!)

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

@ John Yes! I too remember getting DVD's with rewind stickers!
I also remember once informing a clueless, squeaky-voiced teen clerk (who was only a couple years younger than myself, tbh) that he needed to start checking returned DVDs to make sure they had been rewound.

I pointed at the rewind sticker & told him (deadpan) that, because the previous renter hadn't rewound the DVD, the movie had started playing at the end credits and I had to manually rewind it with the fast-reverse button. Essentially watching the movie backward, which spoiled the ending & completely ruined my movie-watching experience. He was speechless.

I continued, saying that I'd gotten several other un-rewound DVDs before, and if I got another one I was going to lodge a complaint with his manager. The look on his face was priceless; a mixture of confusion, doubt, and fear of impending employer reprisal.

He looked at the DVD for a moment, thinking it over as I struggled to keep a straight face. Finally his expression of doubt turned to belief, and he stammered out "I-I'm just so sorry about that, ma'am. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Yes. See that you do." I said, and marched out of the store, leaving behind the clerk, staring dumbfoundedly at the disc as he tried to figure out how to tell if it was rewound or not, and a chorus of suppressed snickers from the other customers.

I cracked up before I got to my car & it was several minutes before I stopped laughing enough to drive.

Cake #1 Well technically we don't know the person who made that was paid in money.
Or paid.
Or a person.
For all we know it could've been made by a helper-monkey working for peanuts.

Cake #2 Looks like something from the abstract wing at the MoMA.
"It's difficult to enter into this work because of how the internal dynamic of the biomorphic forms contextualize the distinctive formal juxtapositions."**

Cake #3 Aside from the misspelled name, it looks like a well decorated cake with a legible inscription & even correct spelling of "Happy Birthday". So I think the decorator was not to blame here, but was working from faulty instructions from whoever took the order down.
The order taker probably wrote "Happy Birthday Matthew 1t" on the order sheet, and the decorator looked at that & thought the nonsensical "1t" was meant to be "1+", which makes perfect sense in a birthday cake inscription.

Boneless watermelon, eh? They must've transferred the helper-monkey to the produce department.

Cake#4 To be fair, the bakery employees probably aren't from France & most people who aren't from France, or French-settled areas, aren't usually that aware of Bastille day, so the confusion is understandable. The cake is otherwise very nice. Highly ironic, but nice.

** This art critique phrase was generated instantly by The Instant Art Critique Phrase Generator

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I've been having a very frustrating afternoon, trying to retrieve a job application to change the job from Kitchen Assistant to Chef Instructor .... the first application took me 2 hours to do. Can't retrieve it.

What to do???? Go to Cakewrecks for a laugh. Well, I certainly got more than one!

I love the boneless watermelon, but the "French" Best Deal cake, indeed takes the cake. I was laughing so abruptly at the last cake that I totally startled my poor cats. Tant pis!

Thanks for the laughs when I needed them--the cakes, Jen's comments, and the other exceptional commenters--I wanna do the sticker trick with cookiemama.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

I can just picture it. Some meat counter employee, after a long day at work, slowly walking out the door to go home glances down and discovers a "boneless" sticker on the side of her/his arm. "Ug! I hate it when that happens!" he/she says to themselves. Just then, taking the short cut through the bakery section, they nonchalantly slide the sticker off their arm and onto the plastic cover of a cake. "Heh heh heh" they laugh to themselves, exiting the store.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

@sendingtheclowns - thank you. That makes sense. The reason it was so hard to recognize is, of course, because it's a CCC [*ptuie*]. Also, it's a pity the wrecker of the second cake wasn't there. "Best Washes" would have actually made sense on a bathtub cake with rubber duckies.

Now what is Mattthew's cake supposed to be. I would believe it's the shore (blue water, yellow sand) if only there weren't cacti all over the beach.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I'm thinking soccer. A white soccer ball being kicked by a foot and leg in a cast.

I really thought the last one was to celebrate some sort of store sale...

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJilara

The best washes cake is not a hockey stick. It's obviously a sponge, a white plate, and a oddly shaped bottle of blue dish soap.

As for "Best Deal day", someone else already mentioned that Amazon Prime day wasn't really.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Nerfbomb wins the interwebs comments today! LOVE the DVD story & the idea of the helper-monkey!! Thanks for the laugh - I needed it!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuzannah

It must have been bad_news to get that last cake. Every cake has its Flaws though. I would be Overjoyed to get any cake though. One million geek points to whoever gets the references.

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

@Jane: Don't thank me~I just got unlucky. When I'm curious as to what a particular wreck is supposed to actually be, I click on the image, and look at the writing along the top of the photo. Sometimes this tells you at least what somebody thought it was!

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I hate when I find bones in my watermelon.

And why are there rubber ducks invading the Misshapen States of America?

July 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Well now I know that instead of just looking for seeds to avoid I need to look for invisible bones too! Food is getting too hard to eat now a days lol. And I want a best deal day too other than on Black Friday where all the craziness insues.

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Happy Best Deal Day, everyone! Let them eat Cake Wrecks!

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Yes, cake #1 is definitely a strangely-colored bathtub. I believe the white globs are meant to be bubbles, but the decorator clearly has no sense of perspective! It's like when you're a kid and draw a square for a table and then you draw the things "on" the table just floating above the square. LOL

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCharlie

I don't know what ya'll are talking about. I don't see any misspellings on the "Happy birthday, Matthew" cake.

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLeann

@ Leann The birthday boy's name is misspelled; his parents opted for a slightly non-standard spelling, "Mathew" (one t ) rather than "Matthew" (two t's) when naming him.
So while the name on the cake is the correct standard spelling, it is not the correct non-standard spelling of this particular boy's name.
It would be like if you got a cake inscribed with "Lee Ann" instead of "Leann". It wouldn't be misspelled per se, but it would be the wrong spelling for you.

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Rub-a-dub-dub, three ducks in a tub,
That looks like the U S of A,
Best washes, one plusses,
Boneless melon mushes,
Happy best deal of the day.

July 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

As a French-American, that last cake tickles me hugely. This is what happens when my two worlds collide... hilarity ensues. :P

July 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>