My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

That's One Small Leap For Jen... 

John: "What are you working on?"

Jen: "Finding cakes for National Moon Day."

John: "Ok... so what's that, and what does it have to do with Moon Day?"

Jen: [clicking] "Hang on, you'll see."

John: "This still doesn't..."

Jen: "Waaaait for it..."

John: "OH. Moon day, heh. But see, I think you may have mis..."

Jen: "Dude, you totally just said, 'Butt see'.

Both together: "Bwahahaa!"

John: "But seriously, you've got the wrong Moon Day. It's supposed to be the Moon Moon day. The one in the sky.

Jen: [still clicking]

John: "Jen."



John: "You win. Go back to butts."


Thanks to Brooke B., Adria P., Deborah B., Anony M., Lynne S., Nicole E., & Gorilla for helping me get the drop on John.


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Reader Comments (32)

But........ but....... the awfulness of these sneaks up on you and gets you in the end.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen


July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble


July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Maybe it's just as well. If REAL, ACTUAL, MOON cakes were actually baked and wreckorated as we have been accosted with--oops, I mean "accustomed to"-well, they couldn't possibly be any prettier than these.
And I mean that sincerely. And you know it.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Why in the world does that next to last one have a nipple on the butt? And just ONE nipple? Somebody couldn't decide if it was boobs or buns?

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLee

As disgusting as eating an a** cake would be, I don't think I could eat that monstrosity at the end, either.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss paper

I think it is a wart or mole, Lee.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Thanks for making me giggle like a 11 year old boy

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

It doesn't look anything like Pattison, but that Edward drawing is actually pretty good. Bella?... No. She's got a nosebleed.

Still a wreck though.

And what is with the first cake?

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelmac

Good Night Moon

In the great bakery room
There was a pink butt
like a red balloon
And a picture of
Many cakes giving us the moon

And there were two little bats crossed just so
Which looked like dad’s ass
And a turkey’s ass
And a little devil’s butt
And an old butt
And a butt on a baby who looked quite like mush
And Edward and Bella who were whispering “hush.”

Goodnight room
Goodnight moon
Goodnight cakes giving us the moon
Goodnight Jen
And the red balloon

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Just another butt day"?
Barring a very specific type of encouragement for a world-weary proctologist, who is this even for?

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterj.

To be fair, peaches do look a lot like butts. Round, fuzzy, ruddy, yellowy tinged butts with woody stems. So the first cake is pretty accurate, except for being shaped like a strawberry.

Cake #3 is what happens when turkeys get into body-building; just look at the definition on those pecs!

The "butt day" cake is just...why?
Why would you have a "butt day"? Why would you have "another butt day"? Why would you order a cake for "butt day"? Why would you order that cake for "butt day"? Why is the "butt day" butt so lopsided? Why does the "butt day" butt have a wart growing out the front like a tumor? Why does the "butt day" butt have Bluto's head growing out the side like a tumor? Why is the Bluto's-head-tumor on the "butt day" butt wearing lipstick? Why can't I stop saying "butt day"? Why, why, why!?

*sees Twilight cake*

Okay the "butt day" cake, in all it's confounding terribleness, is still preferable to Twilight.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Considering what you two do for a living, I bet you have some VERY interesting conversations.

I'm with Melmac: what IS that first cake supposed to be?

And no, I wouldn't eat the last cake, either. But it would give me great pleasure to chop it up with a knife! Or do we need a wooden stake?

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Maureen: That should be dubbed "Wreckiest Comment." (Anybody remember the old "Loveliest Comment" award from "Lovely Listings"?)

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Is it me or is that turkey spreading his "hemispheres"

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertina

SuBee wins again!

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary B

At least it wasn't Sun Myung Moon day. . .

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

An yet, no Moon Pies?!!

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJenifer

Yes, most people have no idea what a top-quality custom cake costs. They also (in fairness) have no idea how complex a design is (a crisp, unadorned fondant cake is actually much harder than it looks because putting lots of decoration on a cake hides flaws.) So they don't want to pay $1200 for a cake and they look around for someone who can do it for $200. Believe me, they WILL find SOMEONE who says they can do it at that price. You get what you pay for. If three bakeries told you $1200 and someone says they can do it for $200, the fault is YOURS for not questioning their claims.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

First one is probably a peach. Peaches symbolize longevity or something like that in China.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThais

Anyone else seeing Wolverine in the last wreck?

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

One of the songs in the musical Sweeney Todd has got a chorus that starts "Mrs Mooney makes the worst pies in London....".
(little known fact: my best friend in primary school was ms. Sweeney, at least a decade before the musical was written. Spooky).

This is what the first Wreck reminds me of . Longevity peach buns ( no pun intended )

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Memories can be somewhat spotty--

"Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop, does a business but I know there's something weird
Lately all the neighbors' cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her, what a coarse enterprise
Popping pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop..." etc.

The phrase "the worst pies in London" is actually the name of the song and it appears in different stanzas in the lyrics.

Given that, maybe Mr. T will lend us his "chopper" so we can have at it on those wrecks!

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah B.

The first one makes me think of the water tower in Gaffney, SC. (Look it up if you're not from the area or don't watch "House of Cards.")

Pedobear Award for Daddy's Little Devil cake.

On the one after that, that's clearly Mom all set to give birth. If it must be seen, I much rather prefer seeing it from that angle.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Butt they're facing the moon.

July 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Just wanted to point out the first one might not be a cake actually... It could be a huge longevity bun (the writings in Chinese are long life wishes) that are traditionally shaped like peaches. Or it's a cake modeled after the bun.

Now that small one in the background on the left though... (yes the one with the clear split/crack)

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Oh man now I will be seeing butts in most cakes our stores have I just know it lol. And the wreckerators didn't see what they created apparently or were just blinded by all the shiny moons .

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Given the angles of the limbs, I think that the purchaser of the turkey cake might need to get the manager to open the shop after hours so she can get a "suggestive flower" to cover up the "seam."

As for the Butt Day cake, are they celebrating the arrival or the departure of the boil?

I think I may need some eye bleach.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

I don't get how the last cake is any different from all the other butt cakes?

July 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRJ

Baby got BACK on that fifth cake! Haha!

July 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAustynne

The white and pink cupcake (ptooey) cake is, I believe, supposed to be a dress with a white bodice, pink poofy skirt, and black belt. I have no idea WHY this would be a cupcake (ptooey) cake, but I believe that's what it is. White straps and all. (and what looks like, as my family calls it, thick face cream frosting. You know, supermarket "buttercream" made from shortening, powdered sugar, and water. Coats your mouth with that interesting waterproof coating when you eat it. ICK!)

August 4, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDotToDot

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