My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Friday Favs, 5/29/15

Some of my favorite new submissions this week.


Monica asked her baker to add "May the Force be with you" to her son's birthday cake - but added, "If it doesn't fit, don't worry about it."

The end result was a little garbled, but I think you'll agree, INFINITELY funnier:

Yeah, Logan, after all, "hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side."


Susan named her cake, "Satan's Saddest Sperm."

Aaaaand now I want to see him star in his own Golden Book.


Outstanding: adjective

1. Exceptionally good: the team's outstanding performance
2. Clearly noticeable: works of outstanding banality

I'd say one of those definitely applies here:



Ever wonder what the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter does for Halloween?

Personally, I like to think he dresses up as a wedding cake.



And now, a story:

There once were two friends, both named Doug.

Their friends distinguished the two Dougs by calling them "Black Doug" and "White Doug," respectively. (This is the kind of playful humor, my dear wreckies, that can only occur far, far from internet comment sections.)

When it came time for one of the Doug's birthday, the other Doug ordered him a cake.

This is what happened:

What quackery is this?


Thanks to Monica G., Susan D., Tina M., Susan W., & Paulina T. for footing the bill. (EH? EH??)


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (39)

"The stupid is strong in this one..." ;-)

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJuls

Oh, that first one!! Priceless!!!! LOVE it!
Love the sorting hat, too.
And of course that last one.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Why, it's...uhhh...something that could only be improved with a nice bottle of Cold Duck...? =^0.o^=

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Does anyone else read the label on "Satan's Saddest Sperm" as "Sh*t Decorated"?

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica S

That last cake "quacks" me up!
And the "Sorting Cake"?? I wonder if that was the official birthday cake at Hogwarts?

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

The second cake says it has "vanilla buttercream" it's not chocolate, just brown food coloring? What a bummer.

I was trying to figure out what "OUTSTADING" is, but I gave up.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmmie Hawk

The baker is right about one thing - as the label says, the Satan's Sperm cake is "sht decorated."

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMsMouse

And now I'll be whispering under my breath "weckage most fow-el" (a la Princess Bride mawwiage) and snickering all day long!

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

@Jessica -- that is exactly the way I saw it!

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

I'm kind of digging the first wreck. Teach that kid early either you have it or you don't...just go with it...

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Hahaha! The first and last ones are the best! Okay, now I actually want to see (visually illustrated) a white duck wishing a black duck happy birthday!

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

New title for first cake: "May the Meh Be With You."

I, too, want to see that Little Golden Book. Priceless!

Well, Doug and Doug are going to have fun with their new nicknames! Now all they need is a Goose.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

First cake is from a Hipster Obi-Wan baker.

Jessica S - Yup! And because I've been reading this blog long enough, I didn't even pause when I read "sh!t decorated". Ho-hum.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

Ha, that force cake is adorable and I want one!

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

I also read the sperm cake as SH*T, 1/8 SH*T to be exact!!! Especially with the brown colored frosting

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPenny M

That last one made me laugh (and snort) way too loud for work. Thanks for the laughs!

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSmyers

@Emmie Hawk:
Me, too. I think that cake should go on that game show (Wheel of Misfortune?) and try to buy a vowel.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I was waiting to see "OutstaDing" pointed out.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJustANONtoday

Maybe Donald Duck is wishing Daffy Duck a happy birthday.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

Okay, the story behind the last one is an epic duck bromance and the white duck just wanted the black duck to know that he cared and appreciated their friendship. So on the black duck's birthday he waddled all the way out of the pond, down the road, and into the bakery to place an order. He waited anxiously for it to be finished and asked for it to be delivered to The Pond On Fourth Street With the Large Drainage Pipe. When he opened it up and found the misspelling he was devastated. How else was he supposed to show his love other than chocolate-y cookie-y goodness? However, not wanting to appear empty handed at the black duck's birthday party, he brought it along. The black duck took one look at it and said, "Cool, bro" and they wing-bumped. He decided to adopt this strange new style of addressing himself and started calling himself Blake Duck the First. It soon caught on and that's how ducks started getting names.

Yes I am avoiding doing work, why do you ask?

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNemo

Can we hope for a "Satan's Happiest Sperm" cake in the near future?

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

Gray duck! (I'm from Minnesota)

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

I also read SH*T cake, but then saw C*CK too. It must be the wrecks that do something to my eyesight ....

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

My daughter is names Brooklyn... And in my opinion it is no different than Kaitlyn or any other name ending in Lyn.... Big deal it's a place.. So is Austin. Yep that's all I took from this... People telling me what I shouldn't name my kid...

[Editor's note- Sorry about that. I took down the stupid comments. Brooklyn is a lovely name. I would love to have been given a cool name but my mom took mine directly from the book of boring. john (the boringly named husband of the equally boringly named Jennifer)]

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust me

I think the baker needs a "stading" ovation for spelling all the weird names correctly.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Ooooh, cake #1 has made it as my favorite cake wreck. I can't stop laughing. It's like all those "participation" awards they give kids in competitive gym classes when they aren't so good at it....

Just keep on swimming, keep on swimming....

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

On the Satan's Sperm cake, I'd like to buy the I.

"Black Duck Love White Duck" would be a great Golden Book! "Black Doug Love White Doug" is for older kids, but will be banned from school libraries in red states.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I thought the wedding cake looked more like the Boogeyman from Nightmare before Christmas.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterInvaderTak

The Sorting Hat as wedding cake is totally doing Duck Face.

"Sht decorated" that like "mischief managed" wreckerator style?

I just noticed the last one says Blak Duck Love White Duck. I guess they were all out of Cs.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

That "outstading" cake cracked me up!! And yes, I had too look three times at the Satin's Sperm cake.

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I agree with the label - that second cake is at least "1/8 SHT".

That said, I think Satan's Saddest Sperm himself is kind of cute... He should team up with Dundeek from a few posts back to host their very own TV show or something. =-)

May 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Lmao.. I so see the Sorting Hat disguised in the wedding cake. It just wanted a vacation and look where that got it lol. These were priceless today.

May 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The "black Doug" and "white Doug" thing is also a reference to "The Hangover." (The first one, the rushed sequels don't count.)

May 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCassue

Risking a total Epcot... Yes! I saw the 1/8 SH*T too! They should really abbreviate that to SHE! But, Andrea, I think you're on your own with that WHITE C*... Oh. Never mind.

I also thought the "OUTSTADING" decorator/orderer missed the opportunity to let Addi T and Addie S just be Addi & Addie for once! You don't need the last name initials to distinguish them when reading their first names since they're already spelled differently!

And, Jen... if I might could toss a friendly note in the suggestion box? Could you please add a black bar to the first cake on the "Only a Nurse Could Love" thumbnail? Or add a warning picture as the first shot instead? Seeing the "meat baby" as a suggested post, or even the "Is it a butt or a bust?" suggestion has never bothered me... but- EGADS- that thermometer up the dirty bum makes me, um, cringe every time I see it peering up at me from below a post! ACK!

May 31, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Thank you for letting me (once again) snort coffee all over my keyboard.
Please please please I want "may the Force be with you, if not donĀ“t worry about it!" to make it into the next Star Wars movie!!!

June 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

On the "duck" cake at least the "u"s were clearly made. Just imagine if the "u" looked like an "i"!

June 2, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercajun2core

"Satan's Saddest Sperm"

OMG, I almost died laughing at it xD

June 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWismar

Let's see the face of the mastermind that does these wonderful cakes!

August 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I think it's pitiful that the worst thing I saw on the "Satan's Saddest Sperm" cake was the oddly executed reverse shell border. That's what culinary school will do to you.

October 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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