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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May262015

They See Me Scrollin'

With graduation season upon us, it's time to once again consider that most impossible of shapes:

The lumpy burrito.

 

No, sorry, I mean that paper noisemaker thing you blow through:

 

Or is it a Corinthian column?

...made into a Chia Pet?

 

I'm being silly, of course. We all know these are really bakers' attempts at... uh...

compensating for something.

[evil grin]

Maybe if they anthropomorphized it?

In this case, "anthropomorphize" means "make it look like a poopy lollipop inside a beaker."

So: NAILED IT.

 

Speaking of things that've been nailed:

With a steamroller, by the looks of it.

 

Well, I trust this has convinced you guys to always request a real paper diploma on your cakes. That way, you're guaranteed to NEVER... uh... oh.

Never mind.

 

Thanks to Carol M., Cathy S., Stephanie C., Sam A., Kelly & Craig, Kat S., & Stephanie F. for proving this time the dog really did eat it.

*****

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Reader Comments (22)

Please tell me that last one is for the dog's graduation from obedience school. It's NOT because the high school mascot is the Direwolf.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

This is precisely why the U.S. falls behind South Korea, Finland, Poland and ten other countries when it comes to educational achievement. We promise our young people a diploma when they finish school and, after seeing cakes such as these, they either don’t know what a diploma is, or they really don’t want one.
Tragic.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

What WAS that last one a Wolf? A Coyote?? A Husky??? Oh my.....

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

So I just woke up and did what I usually do - read cakewrecks and eat breakfast. Sometimes a not so good combination... But since am tired, I misread anthropomorphize as anthro"poo"morphize.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMIA

Dunno, looks like the column one is more ionic than corinthian. Though it DOES look like it might be made from fine corinthian leather...(Does anyone else remember that old Ricardo Monteban commercial?)

I love how the purple mortarboard next to the pooplollypop has tassles going down both sides, as if it had cords to hold it on the head like a kid's cowboy hat.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Before scrolling to where one sees the bottom of the "column" I had the unfortunate impression of a green uterus. Now why would I ever think of that? Must've seen such a thing in CW before...

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterOld Marshmallow

Sadly, the anthropomorphized one is one the better ones of the bunch :/

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm not sure #2 is "that paper noisemaker thing you blow through," but I'm sure some people try *ahem* blowing them....

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

I think the third one looks like an underdeveloped Hulk. It's good to know that he put his education first, then he completed his body building. A fine example for young people.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Dog ate my diploma.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

SuBee: I never promised MY kids any diplomas! I informed them that they'd have to bake their own.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Actually, the anthropomorphized one reminded me of the bill in the Schoolhouse Rock "I'm just a bill" cartoon. I always liked that guy!

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Huh, things must have changed a bit since I was in school. I don't recall ever having to wrestle a wolf for a diploma.... that's hardcore! One wonders what kind of specialty school that was for!

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Can we get a like button for the comment section? Although I realize it might not be possible, I would love to show my appreciation for them too.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBlah Blah Blah

Mr. Brasstax walked by, saw the last pic and said, "Looks like someone threw up on that dog...".

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBrasstax

That last one looks like G'Mork the messenger of The Nothing in The Neverending Story.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElspie

@ Jodi...you wrote ionic and I read "ironic"...which...well when I think about it, most of these wrecks CAN be considered ironic, although the wreckorators didn't intend them to be.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

next to last one...looks like a slightly used feminine hygiene product

May 27, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermandy

Well that dog certainly ate something lol. Wow. It looks like it has dust on it as well as the paper diploma. Honestly wonder where wreckerators get their ideas sometimes.

May 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Don't know if it's just me, but that last cake reminds me of G'mork from the neverending story

May 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

What the piffle is #2 ? Lots of lines going on there.... or someone doing a lot of lines. Or something also inappropriate. Anyway, that's actually the one that confuses me. The rest are just frightening. Like MIA, I start my day with coffee and CW, so it can really color the rest of your day!

May 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

That last cake is TERRIFYING.
And now after reading Elspie and Christi's comments, all I can see when I look at it is a white, cakey G'mork, which, by the way, will definitely be haunting my dreams tonight. G'mork always scared the bejeezus out of me. *shudder* And wolves are my favorite animals.

June 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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