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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr082015

Parent Appreciation Day

Think you have a shot at "most embarrassing parents?"

Not anymore.

The fact that "period" is spelled wrong pales in comparison with, you know, everything else.

 

Still, it could've been worse. Lucy's parents could have put her picture on the cake:

And then served it with a side of drippy cherry cheesecake.

Really.

 

Then again, is that really any worse than a commemorative toilet training cake?

Guys, there is such a thing as a generic celebration cake, you know. Just sayin'.

 

Oh, and Mom? Dad? I love you.

 

Thanks for the perspective, Anony M., Victoria C., & Britany S. And also for the vocabulary lesson.

*****

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Reader Comments (40)

This embarrassment pales in comparison to what you'll see on parents' Facebook pages since some parents take a sadistic glee in embarrassing their kids. Though as a parent I can understand the desire to celebrate the potty training! (Personally, I celebrated successful potty training with a bottle of wine!)

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Oh, I would KILL. People actually DID that--I know, because I've seen those types of pictures. What is WITH that? Is it "insurance", to hold the kid hostage by threatening to show the whole school or the boyfriend/girlfriend to get them to do/not do something? There's probably a fairly innocent, "just-for-posterity, and it's big moment" mentality behind it (no pun intended), butt still! =^~.-^=

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"Happy Menarche?!?" WT........😰😨😱😵

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Bigg3469, Menarche is the medical term for "becoming a woman". It certainly beats the 773H out of "Happy Period". To my recollection, there was nothing "happy" about it. Menopause, now, that had some benefits. Not that I'd want them on a cake, mind you.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Regarding the top two...is that something people really celebrate???? I always thought it was referred to as "getting the curse" so WHY oh WHY would anyone want to celebrate it at all, let alone with drippy red cherry cheesecake? *gag* If I was at the party I would run away fast and kidnap the poor girl and bring her with me. That is NOT okay!

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I suppose you're saving the "Happy First Ejaculation" cakes for another post.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The "Merry Menarche", I could live with. Not happily, but I could manage. It is quite a clever pun.However, that graphic, red, dripping cheesecake (and cherry, yet????). Wrong on every level that I don't want to consider.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

My Mom raised a glass of bubbly in front of the whole extended family and toasted my first period. Thank Gosh there wasn't a cake too! 47 years later and I still cringe at the thought

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSue

@SuBee wins!

That potty picture should be reserved for the high school senior yearbook.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

It appears that the second picture was taken as part of a whole buffet of celebratory goodness...Talk about scarring your kids!

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

SuBee....OMG, I should have known better than to be taking a sip of my Diet Coke when I scrolled down to your comment..Anyone know how to get Diet Coke out of your keyboard? LOL almost came out my nose too.
But worth it.....you never disappoint. The cake you mention? they could use some of those past wrecks of 'Castles' for that celebration cake. But oh yuuuuuuck.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I wonder if there was a vagician at any of those parties.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBunnielove

All that's missing are some tampon-shaped balloons! That cherry cheesecake could use one about now.

As far as congratulations go, yeah, no. More like "condolences on having a degree of freedom and comfort taken away from you several times a year for the next several decades!" I hope those cakes are chocolate. I agree with Lady Anne. I'll throw a party when I'm on the other side of this. I'm hoping you'll see my Period Free cake on here soon! :D

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Really? This is a thing? A special cake for the first peroid???? Hey! I didn't get one!

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Buck

SuBee- I know better than to eat or drink while reading this. You got me anyway -- I have a cold & was coughing, then nearly choked while laughing!
I would not have even considered embarrassing my kids like this (there are plenty of other ways)!

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjust me

@SuBee: Thanks for that laugh! I needed some levity. I was drying my hair this morning and the hair dryer burst into flames and started shooting sparks. I managed to drop it into the sink and unplug it before I got burned. But my adrenaline level is REALLY HIGH right now!!!!!

As if the drippy cheesecake weren't bad enough, I also thought the rose on the first cake, in the bottom right corner, looked a bit . . . . vaginal. Just sayin'.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I will defend the decorator of the first cake.
This person obviously saw the message request "first period", thought "geez that's embarrassing" & tried to help ease the embarrassment by purposely misspelling it, thinking that "everyone will just wonder 'what's a peroid?', they won't know it's supposed to be period".
It didn't work, but at least they tried.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Next in line: Happy Therapy cakes. Because that's what these kids are headed to.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

And this is why, in 20-30 years, there will be cakes commemorating an aging parents ability to poop or put in their own teeth.

Karma, people.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

No one mentioned that at least they got the apostrophe right on the last cake. Small victories...

(And now that song is stuck in my head!)

How old does one have to be to disown their parents?

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

It's actually quite common to celebrate menarche. Lots of faiths do it, including mine. The whole party/cake thing would probably have been done with the girls ' consent. Also, lots of people raise their daughters to embrace their cycle in all its ickyness, so these girls were unlikely to have been embarrassed and would probably wonder why people were making a fuss and trying to humiliate them on a blog.
It's ok if you don't like your cycle, but some people really value it, so please don't be mean about them- it doesn't have any effect on your life.


[Editor's note- I don't think Jen was trying to humiliate anyone. Just that she would have been embarrassed if her parents had done that for her. -john (the hubby of Jen)]

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbonnie

What we need now is a cake celebrating the blossoming of one's sense of humor.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNotMe

At least the peroid cake didn't come with a side of tampon angel. Yes! It is a thing. Google it. Just remember, what is seen cannot be unseen.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

I could actually get behind a potty training celebratory cake (since my special princesses are 12 & still not quite there), but it would be for me! Yay! And with no accompanying picture, since it never even OCCURRED to me to take a picture of them on the toilet (really, why would you do that?)

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@ SuBee. Nice. Instantly brought to mind tapioca pudding filled cupcakes

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I will never, ever be the same.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Dash

I suppose you're saving the "Happy First Ejaculation" cakes for another post.
@SuBee: That would be "Sensational Semenarche‼"

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEoin

Ah, I remember how my three (in turn) were SO excited, and came running to grab me, and SHOW me the blessed event! It's a big deal! (BTW: I'm talking about the potty.The other? I remember that I didn't want any part of it, and disgustedly informed my mom, "Well, I got that THING." I already knew from my older sister. I was not impressed and didn't want any part of it. (My poor brother was stuck in the middle between two girls.)

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wow. I've been following this blog religiously for a couple years now, and I did not think anything could still shock me in terms of inappropriate cake themes.

Silly me.

I mean, those first two alone left me slack-jawed in disbelief. Wow. Again.

April 8, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

It is a case of "what has been seen cannot be unseen". I thought my parents embarrassed me but these guys take the cake.

(no pun intended)

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermookiematic0913

Culture is chosen. There may be some that celebrate Menarche as a ... thing... But in a world full of cultures, that's not a culture I would pick.
Just... wow.

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

I think celebrating the first period comes from those old times when it meant parents can now marry off their daughter, back when being fertile was the main if only importance and purpose of a female. It probably is still the case in some cultures. Pretty sad, really, considering that these girls are probably barely in their teens if that much, but already, the possibility to get them pregnant is celebrated.

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkit

So now Throwback Thursday comes in cake form? Nice!

The other two . . . not so much.

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

My mother told the whole neighbourhood. I was mortified. She now wants to celebrate her grandkids' milestones - fortunately they are very self-confident and would likely just roll their eyes at a cake like this.

I'd love a menopause cake. Now there's a reason to celebrate!!

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

Well, now, some cultures do celebrate a girl's first period; but if you're not in one of them, why oh why would you do this to your poor daughter?

No... I take that back. I know why: Because you are a parent like my mother, the type who discusses your menstrual cramps at your high school graduation. Yes, really. And her voice *carries*.

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCallista

Maybe they couldn't remember if it was period or hemorrhoid so they made it both!

April 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRobinfromCA

Heck if I got a cake for my first period I would have eaten the darn thing in silence lol. Blame it on mood swings and not share any of it and it would serve em right too.

April 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Fiest period cakes are just WRONG! Like, congratulations, you're gonna bleed every month for the rest of your life! Even more embarassing if friends were invited. Nothing to celeberate, I'd be horrified if I had gotten a cake. "Sorry" seems more like it! Aside from the fact that a Potty training cake was even made, the cake itself looks horrible.

April 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJohtodile

Bonnie: there are cultures which celebrate menarche. However, buying a specially decorated iced cake is unlikely to be part of that culture's traditions, suggesting they have at least one foot in the culture in which girls find it hideously embarassing that their mothers should tell complete strangers (the cake shop) about their first period, whether or not they see it as a wonderful thing. There are plenty of hideously embarrassing mothers around - see other comments.

April 13, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

OK, I'm a wee bit off topic, but rather than a cake to celebrate menopause, my super creative sister did something better for me (right after my hysterectomy). She sent a long florist box with long-stemmed white roses... No those aren't roses, they are white panties formed into roses on rose stems. Celebrating my never having to scrub stuff out of crotches ever again. My gynecologist thought it was hilarious and so did I.

June 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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