Monday
Mar092015
Barbie's Birthday Bash
March 9, 2015 Barbie doll, you've come a loooong way, baby.
;)
Too far.
TOO FAR!
What I mean is, you've inspired a whole generation of smaller doll cakes...
;)
;)
[side eye]
And you're not just limited to boring ol' dress cakes anymore, NO SIR.
Now you're popping out of Easter eggs!
;)
And fish tails!
;)
And whatever this weird pouch thing is!
;)
So here's to you, Barbie:
;)
Often imitated, but never duplicated.
;)
Like, not even CLOSE.
P.S. Ken says hi.
;)
Thanks to Joanna M., Anna S., Sara C., Elizabeth T., Anony M., Annie E., Kendell C., & Lamora D. for keeping life in plastic so fantastic.
*****
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Reader Comments (39)
Whoops! Wardrobe malfunction in #1. My first thought, with the Spanish menu in the background, was that this might be a quinceañeras celebration. But looks like this is more of an "adult" occasion...
#6 So they decorated a naked barbie to look like she was wrapped in a fluffy crepe sleeping bag and then just laid her dress down next to her? THIS was what a 4year old's parents thought they should do for her birthday cake??
Oh, look! Mermaid Barbie lives in the Great Pacific Garbage Gyr.
I am going to pretend #3 is an ode to Carmen Miranda
The 3rd cake/doll's expression seems to convey a "Here comes a likely suspect" look. Maybe she spotted a mom with a little girl who knows just how to pity-pout the mom into getting the cake for her.
The "weird pouch thing" (6th down) is this: "southafricandeadbarbie.jpg?" [That's the actual photo credit!] It seems a little odd, but just because the doll's dead is no reason to call off little taco's (or whoever) party!
And that last one! Wasn't that the same goon who was "hey, baybuh"-ing all the girls on other cakes a while back? And still no one has clued him in that it takes more than (or everything but) shiny hair, plastic pecs and assorted other bulges to impress a real cake, these days. =^~.~^=
#6: Taco Barbie!
I don't know which is worse: cake no. 1 with Barbie's top sliding off in an un-glorious heap, or cake no. 6, with Barbie entombed in a sarcophagus. How festive.
And poor Ken just looks like he passed out in a pile of silly string.
Cake #6 looks like Barbie is tucked into a scissors' case. I know, that's a highly unlikely stretch, but with these cake designers, nothing is impossible.
We do seem to be missing pink camo Barbie in today's post. I'm sure one must exist.
Yeeks and double YEEEEEEEEEKS!!!!!
You mean #6 isn't a coffin? That's a relief...
At least come-hither-Ken has plastic hair. I wouldn't want to eat cake that had nasty Barbie hair stuck in it. They tried to do a cute hairdo in #1, but it's still hanging down into the frosting. (Not that that's Barbie's WORST problem in that cake! She kinda resembles the old girl-in-the-bachelor-party-cake.)
The first one is, of course, the alternate cover for the mid-sixties album Whipped Cream by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. (Now I'm jonesing for Mad Men's return)
I thought maybe the Barbie-in-a-pouch was Barbie in a parsnip ...and maybe that's where Babies-on-flying-carrots come from...
That silhouette looks suspiciously like the one on my quarters...is it from the President Barbie collection?
Genie of the...Lamp! That's right, right here for your very much wish fulfilment!
I totally couldn't pay attention to the Ken cake, as I started doing that whole scene in my head.. I wonder if I can show my 4 year old Aladdin yet... Maybe I'll watch it while she's napping! Thanks for making me Diz-geek out this am, Jen!
#6 is CLEARLY Sleeping Beauty Barbie. Or Funeral Director Barbie.
I have made a Barbie cake for my daughter, and piping icing onto her bare boobs was one of the weirdest things I have ever done. I felt so creepy!
As for the Barbie silhouette cake--how in the WORLD would anyone know what that is supposed to be? And don't try to say the ribbon helps because it doesn't. The closest guess I would have is some bizarre coffee mug that a kid made in preschool pottery class.
Why do women in their 50's wear clothes that are not age appropriate? I'm looking at you, cake Barbie.
Barbie #6 should also get out of that tanning bed or she'll get wrinkles.
Well helllooooo Ken *eyebrow-wiggle*! What am I being congratulated on exactly? Not that I mind a man covered in icing, but what occasion warrants that kind of cake? And do you let the little ones suck the icing off of him like you do the candles? Or does he go straight into the dishwasher? It's a little early to have disturbed myself, and yet... I need a piece of cake, without having to worry about life-choices :)
Unless it's a cake for the newest Jr. Lifeguard. In which case... "great cake!"
The third one kind of has a warped Punky Brewster-ish look to me.
And WOW, the hips on that mermaid!
I think you mean Ken says 'hey bebeh" ;)
#3 looks like she's supposed to be wearing some weird balloon creation.
Hey Remmoso's turning 4. She's so cute. Let's mummify her so she never grows up.
Are you sure that's not a little creepy?
Don't worry, we'll give her a nice cardboard view.
Headline; RARE GIANT SPARKLE-FISH CHOKES TO DEATH ON PLASTIC DETRITUS.
I always wanted a Barbie cake when I was little. I'm glad I never got one now! I do hope Sharyn does a parody to "I'm a Barbie girl" - that would be awesome! Yes, I could try writing it myself, but a) I suck at that kind of thing and b) Sharyn is so good at it!
I think cake six shows Barbie emerging from her chrysalis. Had always suspected she was an insect. But that doesn't explain the black plumes. Maybe she is a Death's Head Barbie Moth.
This post was perfect for my birthday today! :-)
Hmmm...Red and blue Barbie icing toilet paper covers. Don't we all want that?
I’m a Barbie cake, at my Barbie wake
In a casket, It’s fantastic
Please don’t eat my hair, find it everywhere
Stuck in frosting, it’s exhausting
Come on Cake Wrecks! Topless doll sex!
Why does the silhouette Barbie have an Adam's apple? Is there something she's not telling us?
NotSharyn nailed it! (Which is more than I can say for any of these bakers...)
Alright, pic #2 is actually kind of cute! I could see those for a fun, luau theme shindig... they may be tacky, but at least they are well-executed! Unlike #6 who's just, well, executed.
And #3 is a melty, silly string mess!
And #5! My word, that mermaid has some hips!
Wreckerator #6 is a Gabriel Iglesias (Fluffy) fan. They are totally portraying his description of his (future) funeral. "...he was covered in cupcakes. It was the sweetest funeral ever!"
#1 needs a back story. We already have the front story, so...
#3 Exactly what sort of bakery is this, anyway.
#5 Here we have Brunette Barbie in 'The Mermaid of Bilge Beach'.
#6 Is this a fill-in-the-blank cake, or is the underline intended to correct Remmoso's entirely understandable false impression.
#8 Cake-topper Ken wants to congratulate you. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say-no-more!
Oh man lmao. Poor Barbie having a wardrobe malfunction in that first one. That or the cake is melting either of which is scary. Cannot stop laughing at Ken cake lmao.
I hope you have seen the Godzilla Princess cake, Jen. It's as amazing as it sounds.
Julie, if you ever make another Barbie cake, you don't have to pipe icing onto her boobs. Use fondant icing and give the girl a decent vest top which won't slide off.
I feel the Barbie mermaid cake would have been a good e idea, but was badly executed. (If that's what it's supposed to be). Probably would have looked nice if the tail looked more like part of her body than it did her POPPING out of a fish! (Sorry for bad typing! I am working on improving it).
The good news about number 6 is that when Barbie finally emerges from her chrysalis, there's a handy outfit waiting there just for her.
Barbie wrapped in a tampon and emerging from its center Alien style